Despair
by dunedin girl
Summary: She's been alone purposefully. He's waited for her for eons. In the city of Edinburgh, magic and fate will bring these two missing puzzle pieces together. And when they do, they'll shine bright, just like they used to. Set in Edinburgh, EPOV & BPOV.
1. Chapter 1:It happened on Victoria Street

**Despair**

**Chapter 1: It happened on Victoria Street**

**A/N Hiya, how are you? Ok, here we go.**

Have you ever felt so lonely, that you felt invisible? Is anyone out there that can understand? Bumping into each other. A night out started sour but ends with magic. And magic does still exist. Set in magical Edinburgh, EPOV, BPOV. Drabbles

BPOV

I just had to get out of there. The smell of alcohol, the loud voices, the overly enthusiastic affection. Mind you, these are my work colleagues I'm referring to. I can't stay too long. I feel like I'm drowning. Getting out of the pub, the cold wind hits my face. I think I should walk home, it shouldn't be this far.

I have been so lonely. I have never felt more alone. This lump is my throat keeps rising and falling but never lets go. I feel tears stinging my eyes, but I'll blame the wind. A lone tear falls from eyes. I have not let anyone in in 4 years. I moved to the other side of the world. Away from everyone. My friends, my family.

You left me. So I left everyone. I had to get away. And on nights like these, where the vodka flows, I let myself grieve. For everything I've lost, for everything I've felt unworthy of. As I try to take a turn from Victoria Street, a strong body collides with mine.

'Oh, I'm so sorry Miss? Miss? Are you all right?'

His voice caresses my ears. I keep looking down because of my tears. The passers by don't pay attention.

'I'm ok, thank you', I reply. Yup, no one was convinced.

**So, did it catch your eye?  
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	2. Chapter 2: I know

**Chapter 2: I know**

**Are you guys with me? I know where I want to go with this- sort of.**

**BPOV**

His hand reaches out and I retreat. How silly of me, I know, but these days I flinch to the touch. It will open the floodgates. I'm a bit tipsy and ready to spill the beans.

I've still not raised my head to look at him. His hand makes a gesture of surrender and notice how it moves towards his hair. My line of sight follows his hand and then I'm lost into his eyes. His eyes filled with concern. A concern that seems unreasonable, given that I'm a complete stranger.

His hair has a bronzed shade under the yellow light, and his face is ethereal. Can you say that about a man's face? Strong jaw, and a crooked and straight nose at the same time. He screamed contradiction.

And yes, the creepy stalker I am, I am gawking.

'Are you sure you're all right?'

'Yes, yes, sorry I wasn't quite paying attention.'

'No, don't worry, this is a known blind spot, if this corner could speak...'

I giggled, I couldn't help it. Something about him screamed comfort.

Maybe kissing too?

**So, what do you think? I'm feeling excited.**


	3. Chapter 3: Waiting on Victoria Street

**Chapter 3: Waiting on Victoria Street**

**Ok, let's hear from our Edward. Shall we? You ladies with me? I saw my own alerts, it felt weird...**

**EPOV**

I'm waiting for you to rush around the corner, I know tonight has been hard on you. You're so strong you don't realise, your bravery and beauty. In your small hands you already own my heart. You don't know me yet, oh but I know you.

Every winter solstice of my long existence your long brown hair appeared on the smokes of my sacrifice. My meaningless years seemed endless without you. But eternity won't seem long enough, with the glimpses I've had of our future.

And tonight we shall fly. And tonight, I shall heal you. I have felt your pain. I know it goes deep. You don't know why. But I know, your soul is burdened. Ooops, here you come. Let me just rush around the corner and ...Bump.

Yes, my love, my exquisite beauty here you are...

**What does Edward know that she doesn't know? And did I hear something about a sacrifice? I 'd love to hear from you...**


	4. Chapter 4: I'm trying not to scare you

**Chapter 4: I'm trying hard not to scare you away**

**I had my first story alerts, thanks you guys are freaking awesome! Here's our beloved Edward, only this one comes with a twist.**

**EPOV**

I try to apologise, without touching you, you keep your head down. Your sadness has permeated the atmosphere, it's so hard for me to keep away. You mumble a confirmation that you're ok, yes, but darling, you should be more convincing.

I ask again, this time trying to use my hand on your arm to draw your attention but you flinch away from me. It pains me so much to see you like this, your soul should shine with love and happiness.

You look small in your thick coat, surrounded by your large scarf. Your brown hair shines underneath the yellow light. As I move my hand towards my hair, your eyes follow the movement and stare into mine.

Oh, how I long to protect you from harm, make sure you start believing in the world again. In good. You don't feel worthy but your heart is precious. I will make you see that.

But let's start with a silly line, you giggle, and the most euphoric feeling fills my heart. My heart skips a bit. You look annoyed at yourself and avert your eyes that have been taking me in.

Don't look away my sweet girl, tonight everything will come to fruition.

**Anybody got any theories? Let me know what you think...**


	5. Chapter 5: Despair

**Chapter 5: Despair**

**I also neglected to mention that I don't own Twilight.**

BPOV

~_Flashback~_

_'What do you mean you're leaving?' _

_'I don't love you anymore Bella, what can I say?'_

_'I don't think you ever did, I don't even know what you were doing with me for the past 3 years'._

_'You were the trophy'girl, you almost whispered._

_'WHAT? What the fuck Jacob? That is NO reason to start dating someone. I was in hysterics by then, a screaming and sobbing mess. I pulled the curtains apart and then saw her, in her car patiently waiting. And, it all fell into place._

_'Oh my God, she's waiting for you, isn't she? How long has this been going on behind my back you fucking bastard!_

_'Fuck you Bella, she's more a woman than you'll ever be'._

_And then something inside me broke. I swear I heard the cracking noise. _

_'It's fine, Jake, go. Just go.'_

_When the door was slammed in my face I fell against it and then I knew: drastic measures were required._

**So guys? Any opinions? I'd love to hear from you!**

_DG  
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	6. Chapter 6: The rise

**Chapter 6: The rise**

**Hiya folks, right a little bit of flashback on Edward's past. Again thanks a million for the alerts!**

**If you think I own Twilight you are sorely mistaken. (That's a fancy way of saying I don't).**

**Pictures of locations and historic facts on my profile.**

**EPOV**

_~Flashback~_

_It all started in Edinburgh, near the Nor Loch. The screaming woman, my mother, had been severely beaten by her household master, and now was trying to give birth to me. It was the year 1801, the winter solstice, December 21st.  
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_She had escaped her Lord's household in Cowgate and ran under the North Bridge to escape. No one came here, the stench of the Loch was too strong. I could sense her agony as I was sliding towards the light. _

_My life in the universe, helped keep me aware. I knew I had to keep going fast, and secretly I prayed to the Spirit, to spare my mother from the sarcifice. The balance though, had to be restored. _

_I felt the pressure and felt the pain. Once in the light, my lungs relished in the open air but not the stench of the Loch. My mother, picked my bloody body, and placed it on her chest to suckle._

_When she closed her eyes, I knew she was gone. I grieved her mortal body but I knew her soul would be well looked after. The thought gave me comfort. And now to practise our wailing abilities... _

_The witch was not far, I could tell._

**Any theories, you guys? I'd love to hear from you!**

**Hope you're all well!  
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**DG  
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	7. Chapter 7: The decision is made

**Chapter 7: The decision is made**

**Hello all, again thanks for all the hits, visitors. Story alerts make me squeal and you guys have been awesome. **

**Bella continues. Back on Victoria Street. I have posted pictures on my profile.**

**Oh, I don't own Twilight. You think I did? That's so nice!**

**BPOV**

His eyes remind me of the recurring dream. I know these eyes.

'Can I walk you somewhere, Miss?' he asks kindly.

'No thanks, I'm all right.' _I'm __so __NOT __all__ right,__ but __I__ said __no __more __faith.__I__ can't__ risk __it.__I'm __hanging__ on __a __thread._

My head is all over the place and his eyes are pleading.

'Are you sure Miss, I've been told I'm quite the listener'.

My eyes snap up. Why does this man wants to listen? How does he know, I haven't been heard?

'Pardon me, what?' I ask and my eyes narrow in anticipation of the answer. Be cautious, be reserved.

'I really don't mean to pry Miss, it just seems like you could use some company. Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Edward Cullen. I work as a curator at the National Museum, where I was coming from, tonight'.

'And do you often offer strolls to Damsels in distress, Edward?' _Yup, __that _was _harsh.__Defenses__ are __still __intact._

'No Miss... I see I have offended you, please accept my apology'. He said softly and his eyes sparkled with sincerity.

If I accept this walk, I know what's going to happen. I will get myself hurt. Or worse, find myself without clothes in the water of Leith. _Shut __up,_ rational Bella said. The decision was made.

'Edward, I'm Bella, I'm sorry if I was snappy, I stay near the Shore, if that's on your way?

**What do you guys think? Please bear with me, we need to get past the first awkwardness!**


	8. Chapter 8: At last

**Chapter 8: At last**

**Hiya people, are you ready for some action? Let's get walking... But what did you think? Hehehe...**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**EPOV**

Your acceptance made me release a breath I didn't know I was holding.

'Yes, I stay towards Newhaven, right up my street.'

You smiled again, and you started walking towards Chambers Street. You paused for a minute and turned to look at me.

Your chocolate brown eyes look at me.

'You're not from around here, are you? You have an American accent like mine.'

'Perceptive, but actually I was born in Edinburgh, but moved not long after, to the States with my adoptive family'.

'Oh', was your reply, and I know how discreet you can be my sweet angel.

'I came back for my Masters in antiquity conservation, and fell in love with the city and the people and then I was offered a placement and stayed. What brings you to Edinburgh?'

'Need of change'.

You lower your eyes on the pavement.

'And how are finding it so far?'

'I love the city and everyone's so nice... but that accent is still a bit difficult to understand. Work is more relaxed here than back home, less hours, more structure. Less creative and flexible though.'

'Would you like to go via the Mound? The Gardens look so nice with the Christmas decorations on'.

'Yes that would be nice.'

Everything, with you my love, is bringing my energy to new heights. Let's keep walking...


	9. Chapter 9: For the lights & your eyes

Chapter 9: For the lights and your eyes.

**This is awesome people, you have me squealing! Thanks, thanks all around! Also a dedication to the awesome Kitkat681 who pimped my story! Go read all of her stories, ALL of her stories people!**

**BPOV**

I stand as we exit Cockburn Street and stare at the sight. The decorations were switched on 2 days ago with a 'wee' celebration as they say, and now the Gardens on Princes Street are a winter wonderland. My inebriated state is really not helping and I squeal with excitement.

Edward next to me, smiles and somehow his green eyes seem to sparkle.

'You like Christmas I take it then?' he asks, the smile never leaving his face.

'For the first time in a very long time I feel free.' I honestly answer. The lump seems to have dissipated but it's the comforting energy coming from my kind stranger.

We keep walking on the clear night, the crisp fresh air numbing my face. We walk down the Mound, onto Princes Street and then turn left on Leith Street.

'That was an interesting choice of words, Bella, what made you feel unfree before?'

He had carefully weighed his question I can tell, but I was feeling ready.

'I know I had set my own boundaries'. I exhale and my steamy breath makes a funny orb shape as it leaves my mouth. I feel lighter.

'The way I see it, everything is subject to definition. Freedom is measurable by comparison just like everything else'.

I know exactly what he means. I know that, it was me, all me, my insecurities, my own unhappiness that caused me to put such distance from everyone. Everyone I love. But distance was essential then. He doesn't know what was triggered that fateful night.

'I know. You sound so wise', I countered.

'It's the clean air that's helped me keep my wits about me.'

His smile widened when we found ourselves at Elm Row watching the traffic on the roundabout, the people outside the Playhouse.

'I think I want to keep talking', I confessed.

'I think I want to keep listening'. His warm hand grazed my gloved hand with an indecision.

I didn't flinch now.

**Thanks for reading! By the way do NOT attempt walking the distance in Edinburgh in the winter! It's freezing!**


	10. Chapter 10: The second sacrifice

**Chapter 10: The second sacrifice**

**Another blast from the past. Answers will be given soon. And another massive thank you for your reviews, alerts and favourites, you guys rock my socks!**

**EPOV**

_~Flashback~_

_Maggie the witch, she found me that day wailing near the Loch. She had thought of selling me, but as my energy flowed through her, she came to the right conclusion; I would be good for business._

_She found the nurse of Grassmarket and set up her tent in an incospicuous place next to the rest of the tradesmen. Her black tent with her handprint on white paint was renowned in the town. _

_But for once in her life she got her spells right, she got her predictions right and business was booming. Impatient as she was, the raw talent was within her, but never had the chance to cultivate it or refine it. _

_'Aye, lass, ye come 'ere 'n a'll tell yi all I ken. A'll tell yi, how to bind that laddie that ogles ye.'_

(Yes, girl, come here and I'll tell you, all I know. I'll tell you how to bind that guy that ogles you)

_All the girls in the market started spending those pennies. Now don't get me started, I know having the energy used for such selfish trickeries was appalling, but I was a baby, incapable of walking or talking for that matter. I had to keep the sustenance flowing._

_Business was good and our tummies were filled. I might have cast a hand spell to render the tent invisible from the authorities, as Maggie had the compulsion to steal but no slight of hand. And there was the Polis looking for her. Last time they promised her a cell in Tolbooth prison..._

_Time passed and on the 3rd solstice, the time for a new sacrifice had arrived. I ran from Maggie that night. I went into the caves where no other boy my age had dared to go. On that altar filled with raw evil, I sliced my finger open. Blood trickled from hand and the destiny was to be revealed._

_I had chopped a lock off Maggie's hair in her sleep, as I dragged the torch from the side of the cave. I prepared the prayer and in the smoke I saw the soul getting cut in half. I saw the ancient crime and I saw the travels._

_I was ready. _

**The Niddry Street Vaults are real and apparently a lot of people visiting them had visions, or other forms of Paranormal Activity. **


	11. Chapter 11: The breaking point

**Chapter 11: The breaking point**

**Hi guys, this chapter has a lot of angst, not for the fainted hearted. It has a lot to do with mental illness. Obviously she's out of the woods now. Please bear with me and skip this chapter if it's too much for you. **

**A VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: I have not researched the stuff, I'll just go with what is needed for the story. **

BPOV

_Flashback~_

_I slid down the door and brought my legs close to my body trying to shelter myself. I don't know what I was trying for. I don't who this relationship was for. _

_I was the fucking trophy girl, I'll never be half the woman fucking Leah is. _

_Anger turned to nothing. An empty feeling, the void. The void I had been dreading since it reared its ugly head 7 years ago. When I felt the dread coming I would sleep. And in the morning it would have passed. Or not. Or I might have been fooling myself._

_There were times when the pain would get too much. I don't know why it hurt so much. I don't know, and most importantly I didn't want to know. I was afraid to open that door. Deep down I think I always did. But I was afraid of the label, the stigma that came with the label._

_2 days later my mother, picked me up from that spot behind the door. She cried, as she washed my body, and put me in fresh pyjamas as my jeans were stained with my urine. She helped me brush my teeth and fed me a tin soup. She put me to bed, and held me close. _

_And I could feel her sobs as her body was shaking on my back and her chest heaved with her attempts to breathe, and I felt like the world's worst daughter and like all of my life had been an utter disappointment, I brought pain and grief to everyone I loved. _

_The next day my mother dragged me to the psychiatric clinic where I was quickly diagnosed with depression. The stigma, the label. And I wanted to scream to the doctor:'No shit Sherlock' and then start laughing hysterically just to make it all the more clearer just how depressed I was. _

_And my mother said to me: 'Some people's souls are perceptive, open to the vibes of the world, that's your soul, sweetie, like a sponge. You've taken the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let go, take care of yourself'._

_2 months later my visa arrived my job and sponsorship had been confirmed._

_I had to go. A pin in the map called at me. Edinburgh here I come, or some enthusiastic shit like that..._

**Things get better from now on. Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear from you. **


	12. Chapter 12: The magic of the wind

**Chapter 12: The magic of the wind**

**Time to cheer up a wee bit. Back on our favourite couple. Thanks for all your reviews and alerts and stuff, you guys are awesome!**

**EPOV**

I look at her. She's walking next to me, our steps in perfect synchronisation, her shy demeanour luring me in.

She suddenly turned her head. Her eyes were determined, but she opened her mouth and then shut it with a frown. I smiled at her, but kept quiet.

I wanted her to decide, to own her actions. I know what was meant to be, but it should be up to her to decide.

The wind whirled around us carrying the last of the autumn leaves.

She keeps walking, her eyes darting straight in front of her. The frown stays put and I want to smooth it with my fingers. It's way too early though, I know for these kinds of gestures.

'How did you decide to live in Leith?' I asked another harmless question.

'It's the Shore, I like to live, the bridge of Commercial Street, and the canal. The buildings are so picturesque, and Edinburgh is the first city I saw a pink and purple sunset'. Shortly after the frown returned.

Your description of simple things that moved you is shaking me to my very core. And it's the simplicity of moments of happiness I seek.

And I know looking at you, that you will guarantee me that just by being you. And I long to be closer to you and inhale your scent. Let my presence soothe you and magic to happen.

Halfway down Leith Walk, you turned around, looked at me and stopped. I knew that this was the moment. You licked your lips with determination and started talking.

'Edward, look, I'm going to ask you something, but I don't want you to think I do it all the time'.

'It's like myself; I don't ever and I emphasise EVER offer strolls to Damsels in distress, as you so eloquently put.'

'I'm sorry about that...I...I wanted to ask if you wanted to come back to mine for a drink?'

I smiled brilliantly and replied simply: 'I 'd love to'.

The wheels had been set in motion.

**So, what do you think?**

**Thanks for reading,**

**DG**


	13. Chapter 13: The outburst part 1

**Chapter 13: The outburst part 1**

**Just a wee dedication to the amazing Suzie 55 who went in and reviewed all my chapters! Are you reading her awesome story Cliché? Teen Pieward will blow your mind! How about the awesome walkingwithgiants? You guys are so amazing! **

**BPOV**

I was nervous all of the sudden, bravery leaving me, alcohol abandoning me. What was I doing, I couldn't go again to extremes. I was so scared of feeling. So scared of what it might trigger.

I had lived in fear. For so long, for all this time, I haven't let anyone in. No friends, just acquaintances, sterile living, no colour, no ups or downs. All because of the fear. Fear the medication wasn't enough, the counselling wasn't helping.

Fear of the void.

And just like that I had taken a chance. A chance for a walk, company, comfort.

Comfort. I've been patting my own shoulder for far too long. I just wanted to hand the reins in.

To someone who could understand, empathise.

My resolve started faltering when we got closer to my flat.

Yes, it was a flat. My one bedroom cosy place. My sanctuary.

Edward kept walking next to me, a bounce added to his step. I unlocked the door to the main entrance, and ushered him in. He thanked me with a nod of his head and a smile.

Ethereal face was in my building about to climb the stairs.

Oh my god, I opened the door to my flat. He came in with me. The most beautiful man was inside my home.

After I helped him with his coat and took mine off, I switched on the gas fire place.

'What can I get you to drink? I have jasmine green tea, water & beer. ' I asked feeling more at ease in my turf. Still secretly praying that this was not a psycho. Pun intended, as there was indeed a psycho in the flat.

'Beer would be lovely, thank you', he replied politely.

**To be continued... **


	14. Chapter 14: The outburst part 2

**Chapter 14: The outburst part 2**

I settled for tea, as I already had alcohol in me, and getting waisted was not going to help things.

He was looking at my bookshelf when I came back from the kitchen with our drinks.

'I love your taste in books, I am a big fan of the classics.' he said to me whilst turning around to look at me. His eyes were like the colour of a calm lagoon at dawn, or something like that.

I kept staring into his eyes, and then I remembered I needed to reply.

'Well, um, yes, thank you.'

He came closer and I started moving back when his low chuckle made me shiver.

'Eh, Bella?'

'Yes?', I whispered.

'The beer?'

'Oh my, yes, the beer, here you go.' _You_ i_diot _my inner Bella chastised .

I handed him the beer and our hands grazed. The shiver returned at full force.

He seemed at ease. Perfectly at ease. This started annoying me a bit, because I felt it was too choreographed, too perfect. But he did say he didn't do this ever, very emphatically. Edward interrupted my not so good train of thoughts.

'You never told me what you did. You said you came to the UK because you were offered a job?'

'I'm a graphic designer and I came here with a job offer from Amazon.'

'That's so interesting, is it a job that you like?'

'Umm, yes, very much so, it's like solving riddles with a lot of pixels as my task is to redesign the UK site'.

'That's a creative role.' He took a swig at his beer and I stared at his Adam's apple.

He kept his gaze fixed at mine. I looked at the floor, taking a very sudden insterest at my carpet. I took a sip of my tea.

Next time I look up he's so much closer I can feel his body warmth.

**To be continued... Oh this chapter turned out massive and it got separated in 3. Will post part 2 & 3 in one go in case one of you accidentally combusts...  
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	15. Chapter 15: The outburst part 3

**Chapter 15: The outburst part 3 **

**Ok, here we go! BTW yeah my mistakes are my own...**

Next time I look up he's so much closer I can feel his body warmth.

I don't move away.

'I'm scared,' I say softly.

'I know', he said easily.

'Let it go', he commanded, in a soft quiet voice.

'Let me share some of the burden'. He said again.

And then I was done. All the loneliness and the fear and the tears and the grief and the despair and all the stigma, and anxiety and agony and all the feelings that have been kept inside of me for so long flooded out of me. They flooded out of my eyes, out of my sobs, out of my body as I was shaking violently. I was quickly enveloped by his strong embrace and I clung on to him as if my life depended on it.

For what seemed like an eternity, I cried, loudly at first, quietly as my sobs lessened. I was still in his arms, wetting his crisp black shirt. He just held me there, and my soul was bare in front of him. No defenses, no games, just brutal honesty in all of its demanding presence.

When I calmed down, I felt the lightness in my heart. I felt it deep within. When I lifted my face to look at him I wiped his own tears from his face. His angelic features that looked at me as if I was the most precious thing in the whole world. My fingers continued tracing his face and the atmosphere changed instantly.

My breath quickened to match his and my fingers traced his dark lips. I lifted myself on my toes and brought my face closer to his. He kept looking into my eyes seeking permission to close the distance whilst holding my weight with his strong hands.

'Kiss me Edward, bring me back to life'.

And with that whisper, he closed the distance and his lips touched mine.

**I know some of you are going to come chase me carrying bricks, but I'd rather leave you here than get them on the bed and leave you there... SORRY!**


	16. Chapter 16: The energy

**Chapter 16: The energy**

**Again many thanks for your amazing reviews, alerts, you guys are the perfect readers!**

**I don't own Twilight, I don't have a beta. I tweak here & there if I spot the mistakes and typos. **

EPOV

I had to hold her through her breakdown. At least she let me. I knew her fears. She had been broken, her spirit was trying to cope. I had the good end of the deal. And soon she would know the truth.

But now, her tears and sobs shaking her small body were my only concern. I had to make this right. At least the energy was being unleashed.

Oh my love, I wish I could express these overwhelming feelings that are storming through me. The gratitude, above all, but the love and the one that I had always kept at bay; lust.

She was holding me tight, I was her lifeline, I was bound to be so much more. I inhaled her scent as my eyes shut and another vision went through me. We are old, both of us, at last, holding hands and you smile as I reveal the rose I hold for you in my hands.

I open my eyes, as I can sense that you need me. You were still crying and I couldn't help but feel lost for once in my very knowledgeable existence. You are broken and even if my physical energy soothes you to a certain extent, I know I need to learn how this happened. I felt my eyes tearing up with the helplessness that was prevailing.

I had to make you feel whole. Intact. My Bella, my old soul, my half.

You lift your eyes and extend your small hand to wipe my tears off. As soon as I feel your touch the energy inside me explodes and starts flowing towards your hand. You should be part of it just as I am. Your hand keeps tracing my face and I can't help gaze into your eyes. My breath is coming in shallow quiet pants. You mirror my breaths. The atmosphere has changed. Crackling electricity flows through us.

The moment is perfect. You lift your body and leave your weight for me to support. You bring you heart shaped face closer to mine. I'm seeking for permission desperately. I am thirsty for you my love.

I'm holding you on your toes and then you whisper your consent. You ask me to bring you back to life and my body's shivering violently with the depth of your words. This is exactly what I'm aiming for my sweet love.

Our lips come together easily and then we kiss.

**He he he...I'll post the next one soon!**


	17. Chapter 17: A trick question

**Chapter 17: A trick question**

**I know, I know, here you go people! I don't own Twilight, and my mistakes are my own!**

EPOV

Your lips are soft as they touch my own, your breath is warm and overwhelming my senses. I can feel the taste of jasmine on your lips and then my bottom lip disappears under your smaller pink lips and you softly nibble.

I capture your top lip and bring it in my mouth.

The energy flows through, the balance is being restored and I can almost feel a white hair trying to peer out of my head.

Let me kiss you Bella. Please let me keep kissing you.

You're not the only one who's been brought back. I owe you so much more than what you think you owe me.

Our lips move together steadily, parted and then I feel your warm tongue licking my lower lip.

I will give you everything, I already know I will, but this is the only decision in my long life that is not followed by hesitation.

I open my lips further and allow our tongues to caress each other. Your taste is exquisite, just like the rest of you.

Our union, of any nature, has been my longing for more than 200 years.

We slow down the kiss, pulling apart.

We keep stealing each other's air as our faces have retained their proximity and then I see it.

The sight of all sights.

My beloved smiles brilliantly whilst her eyelids are still firmly shut.

I smile at this vision of utter perfection and then she asks the key question:

"Edward, what are you?"

Oh my, how to explain this...

**Dun dun dun...What do you guys want now keep it here or go back to the past? Answers will be given either or it's up to you really! Many thanks for joining me on this journey!**


	18. Chapter 18: Where it all began

**Chapter 18: Where it all began**

**Hi, all, thanks again for all your wonderful reviews, just one chapter tonight, sorry I'm really tired and I'll make sure I get more to you in the weekend. A great song to listen to for this one is the Origin of Love.**

**I don't own Twilight, I do own my mistakes though.**

B&E POV

Double voice can be heard. This requires a little imagination on your part. So here goes...

_~Flashback~_

_Define love..._

_I don't know what love is..._

_Define life..._

_Life is this._

_Are we two?_

_No we are one._

_Were we always one? _

_Yes._

_It is dark all around us. But we glow brilliantly. We can be seen on the farthest corners of what we call universe. We burn helium and shine. _

_We are heat. _

_We are unity. _

_We are core. _

_And on that furnace, that we call life, We see around us. _

_More dots light up. _

_We are glorious._

_We are white._

_Define love..._

_I don't know what love is..._

_Define life._

_Life is this._

_Life is us._

_**One million years later,or a mere second, a star erupted in the galaxy of Andromeda. Gamma rays sent light throught the universe. **_

_**Promise of life lingered in the stardust. But now:**_

BPOV:

_Define love..._

EPOV:

_Love__ is__ you...Define __love..._

BPOV:

_Love __is__ you...__But__ we __are__ drifting __apart.__I'm __being __forced__ into __a __new__ star.__Creation __will __not __wait._

EPOV:

_I __will __find __you. __Promise __me __you __will __not __forget._

BPOV:

_I__ can't __promise. __It __hurts. __I__can't .__Please. __Please. __Please..._

EPOV:

_That__ was __the __last __of__ her __voice __in __the __void. __Then, __a__ comet __absorbed __me __and __left __for __its __course __to__ the __edges __of__ the__ galaxy..._

****Yes,******** we******** are******** all******** made ********of ********stardust...****


	19. Chapter 19: I'm alive

**Chapter 19: I'm alive**

**I have posted nebulae pictures fresh from the Hubble Telescope and the amazing song origin of love on my profile. Thanks for the wait! **

**I don't own twilight, but I do own my mistakes, I will keep tweaking some messed tenses and subjects and his to yous and so on. I guess I'm just too eager to update!  
><strong>

BPOV:

As your lips touched mine, I knew. I felt it.

The dream came with strobe flashes and engrained in my brain.

I saw the fleeting star clouds and a spiral of cloud being sunk in the darkness.

Then light touches and acceptance of a sacrifice and before that, the oath. The oath that kept us together all this time.

And then the green eyes, the abnormally sparkling green eyes that followed my every movement that talked to me in my sleep.

That soothed me. And this was why I went to sleep every time the void kept trying to creep in.

The peering green eyes.

Under their gaze I was pure, wanted, loved and safe.

There was no judgement there.

Only unconditional affection.

Sympathy.

And I knew right then that something I could not name was flowing through me, and as it flowed it healed and all that was coming from Edward.

Your lips moved softly against my own.

I took your lower lip in my mouth.

Your body was flush against my own.

My weight, all of my weight, physical and otherwise was held by your strong hands.

This was not kissing, it was an explosion of senses.

Then my tongue slid out and licked Your bottom lip.

Your lips eagerly parted but there was no fight.

We were equals into this kiss.

Your warmth and delicious scent had me paralysed. And then your taste, oh my, your taste.

It was home.

Here, in your arms, was the one place I belonged.

But I knew you had to explain yourself.

Even though I had pieced bits of the puzzle together, I had to have the full story.

Our kissing slowed down, and then we pulled apart. I smiled at the comfort and safety I was feeling.

I revelled in it.

But I had to ask: "Edward, what are you?".

I felt your body stiffen and I knew I was bang on the money.

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, it was a long day!**


	20. Chapter 20: The oath

**Chapter 20: The oath**

**Hey guys! Hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. I don't own Twilight and my mistakes are my own. Back to the past...**

EPOV:

~_Flashback~_

_I was travelling with the comet. _

_Can a spirit feel pain? _

_Can they define it? _

_I found the answer to be yes. _

_The farther apart I travelled the more pain I felt._

_The strongest ache in the depths of my existence. _

_We were severed._

_Words eluded me. _

_Meanings, ideas and definitions were not there to express this._

_But I kept on my journey._

_Until I made a decision._

_I refused to submit to this, whether that was fate or simple chance._

_You were love and you were far._

_And on that moment in time I took the oath._

_I took an oath to sacrifice whatever part of me needed just as long as you were brought to me again. _

_Help me remember. _

_And the Spirit omnipresent, granted me the wish._

_And what I would need to sacrifice would be you. _

_In my ethereal state of carelessness and _

_naivet__é__ I accepted._

_**A mere second later, a girl was born. **_

**Thanks you guys, I 'd love to hear from you!**


	21. Chapter 21: The revelation

**Chapter 21: The beginning of the revelation**

**Hello my lovely, amazing, fabulous gorgeous readers. Some of you have disabled PMs and can't thank you for your reviews! I want to thank my cyber muse Suzie55 for all her love and support, are you reading her awesome Cliché? Go and read it people! **

**Back to present it's explanation time!**

EPOV:

Right, I will attempt this.

"Well, Bella, how much information can you handle?", I ask you, dying with uncertainty for your reaction.

I can't lose you all over again, I just held you again.

I need an eternity with you.

It's not about choice, it's pure necessity.

"I guess it depends on the information, I'm suspecting this one is not going to be easy to digest, right?".

You know quite well what I'm about to divulge.

"All right Bella, I'll try to ease you in on the subject, just let me know when you want me to stop".

"Never" you blurt out.

I know you are adorable like that but you made me smile and I shall reward you with a kiss on the nose.

You realise what you have said and you turn crimson.

You lower your eyes, but I will have none of that.

I lift your chin with my hand and stroke your cheek with my fingers.

"Let's get a bit more comfortable shall we?" I suggest and take you by the hand.

You sit next to me, but I can't keep any distance between us. I pull you on my lap and then ask, dreading your response.

"Is this all right?" Your smile and hands around my neck is your very distinct answer.

"Well, Bella, why don't we start with the obvious connection between us. Why do you think that is?" I ask hoping that you've come to the right conclusions.

"I can feel a bond, have we been together before?" she replied reflectively.

"Yes, we have been; this is the third time". You seem to take the news easily, as if you have pieced some of the items of the puzzle.

"You know what they say..." you reply with a mischievous smile and then continue " third time's the charm".

"Actually, Bella, I was quite hoping that." I reply quite honestly.

"Was that in different lives? Like reincarnation?" You ask quite surprised.

"Define life..." I let this linger but you answer without a single thought, proof that the energy is fast to restore your memories.

"Life is this, life is us". You answer with conviction and you tighten your hold, because you and I know how we long to be together.

"I think you're ready to know everything". I reply and take a deep breath before I begin.

**So? What do you think?**


	22. Chapter 22: Taking it all in

**Chapter 22: Taking it all in **

**Hello my amazing readers! I hope you're enjoying your weekend as much as me. Putting my feet up and making sure I get loads and loads of updates to you! Song for this one is Texas:put your arms around me, there's a link on my profile.  
><strong>

**Time to hear from our Bella...**

BPOV:

I heard your words like a voice from a dream. And the more I heard, the more I could feel all the colours taking shaping and the memories taking form.

"You and I, Bella, we were never apart. We were created from stardust. We were a bright star on the Andromeda galaxy, and if you look into a telescope you can still see light from that explosion, it's heartbreaking though..." Your voice cracked with the emotion.

I instinctively reached my hand and cupped your cheek gently. Your watering eyes turned to look at me and it was as if I could see on your blinking irises the supernova exploding.

"So, at the time of the explosion we were lingering in the same space, until you were sucked in by a new star creation..."

"And you asked me to remember... and oh my God, I didn't, I begged not to." I sob in your arms not understanding how I could just give you up like that.

"Hush, my Bella, when in the spirit stage, you can't really weigh your decisions, it was brand new for both of us, before that we were the core of a star. You are careless, euphoric, even though we had been severed". You replied and I closed my eyes to try to comprehend.

I calmed my breathing, but I couldn't hear any more tonight.

"Edward, just hold me. I've missed feeling like this. "

"Like what?" you ask quietly near my ear. I shivered in pleasure.

"Like I'm normal."

"Oh, Bella, you are far but normal. You are special."

"Ok, Edward, I don't want to talk about that any more. Just put your arms around me."

Your warm embrace and heartbeat is all I need.

**Just for you my lovely readers! **


	23. Chapter 23: Stay the night part 1

**Chapter 23: Stay the night**

**I want to say thanks again for all your love and support, you guys are awesome!**

**Here's our Edward!**

EPOV:

I held her in my arms and felt complete. For the first time in my long life I felt like I have made the right decision when I took that oath.

We can't be parted.

Bella stirred in my arms and lifted her face to look at me. She smiled.

My breath hitched and I smiled back.

"I'm tired, would you like to stay the night?"

"Yes", was my very fast and overzealous reply.

"Let me see if I can find you something to wear, I bet the slacks and shirt are not proper sleep material." she said and went inside to where I guess the bedroom was.

And then I was nervous. Would she want us not to just _sleep_ together? I didn't know the first thing about love making. I waited for her. I wanted to wait for her.

When she came back she was holding a pair of sweat pants and a Motorhead T shirt.

"You were lucky my cousin visited a year ago and left these here, I think they should fit all right".

"Bella, I wanted to ask..." I trailed off unable to finish that sentence.

"Not tonight silly", she said with ease, instantly understanding what I was referring to.

She lifted on her toes, gave me a quick peck on the lips and handed me the clothes. I felt at home.

**So, what do you guys think? **

**Follow me on twitter for some much needed banter: eirinib81  
><strong>


	24. Chapter 24: Stay the night part 2

**Chapter 24: Stay the night part 2 **

**I want to thank my awesome readers for all their support. I don't own Twilight, do give me a shout for any mistakes, I love you all! **

****EPOV

"The bathroom is the first door to your right", she said and then continued " and the bedroom is at the end of the hall."

I went in the bathroom and looked around. Her whole home had Bella's touch. In the bathroom, the towel rails had small daisies at the end of them and the rug on the tiles was a bright pink colour.

I quickly changed and saw that she had left me a spare toothbrush by the sink. I felt very cared for by her gesture. I brushed my teeth, and I saw in the reflection that I had indeed a white hair near my hairline.

I smiled at the sight.

Balance is being restored, I thought.

After I washed my face and my hands I went to the bedroom. She was laying there, above the duvet, her long brown hair shining under the bed end lamp with her tank top and pyjama pants.

That was the first time I took in her figure. Her legs were long, her waist slim and her thighs were curvy. The swell of her breasts a tad larger than her small frame. She was all woman. Her heart shaped face and beautiful translucent skin were a indeed a miracle of creation

Her eyes were taking me in and I fell her gaze burning lines on my body.

Brand new feelings washed over me.

I felt the lust. My body responded to the lust and my cock stirred. I didn't want to frighten her, she had trusted me so implicitly, I never wanted to devalue that or her.

I quickly made my way towards the bed and got under the duvet. That seemed to startle her for a minute, as if she was in a daze, but then followed me under the covers, and then switched off the light.

She came closer as I extended my hand to bring her closer. The synch of our movements was not choreographed but it was as though we were lovers for years rather than just getting started.

I surrounded her frame with my hand and brought her on my side. She eagerly placed her head on my chest and her leg over mine.

**So, is this goodnight or is it...?**


	25. Chapter 25: Stay the night part 3

**Chapter 25: Stay the night part 3 (the good part!)**

**I don't own Twilight, I thank you for all the amazing love you've showered my fic with, my mistakes are my own. Mind you, I do accept comments for mistakes I make!**

EPOV:

She lifted her head to kiss me. I obliged my sweet Bella, and in the darkness we lost ourselves in the kiss. It began as a slow one, lips moving together, parting together, stealing each other's air, and the warmth and taste clouded my mind, and lowered my inhibitions.

When our tongues caressed a mutual moan left our lips and relief washed over me as she seemed to want this union as much as I did.

Not tonight though, I wanted to make it special for the both of us, but tonight if she let me I was planning to worship her body.

My inexperience did not seem to hinder me as instinct kicked in and I started slowly running circles on her back with my hand.

She brought herself a bit closer and brought her hand in the back of my neck where she ran her fingers through my hair.

I shivered from excitement and my whole body had burst into flames, by her proximity and the way her body started rubbing against me at a slow torturous pace.

Her leg moved higher until she found my aching cock and started creating sweet friction where I needed it most.

I let her get on with her ministrations as I moved my hand under her top and then her sigh of contentment reassured me that I was doing the right thing.

I brought my other had in her front and slowly caressed her neck, collarbone, shoulders and moved over her arms.

I was getting too excited for my liking and I wanted this to be about her. I turned us around , so that she was on her back and claimed her sweet lips again.

I was on her left side, and placed my hand on her tummy under her top.

She let out a soft moan and kissed me harder. My lips left hers and moved lower and claimed her creamy neck.

Her breaths started coming out faster and my hand was now under the swell of her breast.

"Bella, can I please touch you?" I asked huskily. Lust has overtaken all my being.

She looked deep in my eyes, her chocolate orbs looked lusty and her eyelashes fluttered as if she was trying to concentrate on my face.

"Please, Edward, please", she replied.

With renewed vigour my hand moved on her breast and grazed her already hardened nipples.

Her legs spread of her own volition and I had to express my gratitude for the sight of her, abandoned in the throes of passion, was one to behold.

"Oh, Bella, you are a sight to behold, my darling." I whispered in her ear and her body writhed underneath me.

I lifter her top and tore my T shirt off so I could feel her soft warm skin.

My lips found her neck again, and her pants came out stronger as she was already breathing through her mouth.

I moved to her collarbone and then proceeded to give open mouthed kisses to both of her beautiful nipples as I could feel her getting more and more aroused.

I kept my mouth on her right nipple and my hand got hold of the other.

I sucked this time and rolled the other one with my hand and was rewarded with my name rolling out of her lips as if in prayer.

I knew then, I had to move lower.

I kissed her ribs and soft stomach and then I was met with her lovely soaking pink cotton panties.

I looked up at her but her head had been thrown back.

"Please don't stop Edward, you make me feel so good baby."

My heart pounded hard on my chest with her calling me baby and rewarding me on my actions.

I pulled her panties down and then I saw her glistening folds bare and waiting for me.

I dove in. I kept her steady with my hands, and started licking her with a flat tongue up and down the length of her folds.

I then spread her lower lips and I breathed on her little bundle of nerves.

She was beauty and perfection.

I slid one finger inside her and her tight walls where welcoming me with her heat.

I focussed on lapping her juices and making sure that her clitoris was licked , nibbled and sucked with my eager mouth.

Her taste was salty, a mixture of her scent with her arousal.

I was a hungry animal eager to please my beloved.

I added another finger inside and started rotating inside her walls, whilst my tongue stayed firm on her clit.

Her sexy voice low and quiet had me shivering. I wanted to worship her forever.

"Edward, oh baby, it feels so good, harder, faster..."

I kept the pace slow purposefully so that she built up her release.

But her wish was my command and I picked up the pace with my fingers and my tongue.

A new gush of her juices surfaced and I was a thirsty man as I eagerly lapped everything she had to give.

She seemed to be coming closer and closer as her walls tightened around my fingers, her hands kept me firmly in place, her body was moving at a fast pace and her pelvis kept rising.

I felt her exploding before I heard her.

Her soft mewls turned into loud moans and I was just so happy that I was able to do this for her, be there for her in this way despite my lack of experience.

She almost but screamed my name as she came hard on my hands and mouth.

I kept going until her orgasm subsided and I greedily licked her clean. When she looked up at me with glistening lazy eyes and that goofy grin of her post coital bliss, I knew I had done well.

She picked my face in her hands and dragged me towards her. She then kissed me as she quietly thanked me and held me close. I was aching from not finding release but I denied her when she tried to reciprocate.

I knew she was tired and I wanted everything to be about her. My tired Bella who kept everyone at arm's length lest she was mocked and ridiculed.

My precious Bella, with her open heart.

We had lost so much time.

So much time with my Bella.

We fell back on the bed tangled limbs and bodies held close together.

This was fulfilment.

Life is this, life is us. We are love. And when she's ready she will know.

**So, yeah, what do you think?**


	26. Chapter 26: The morning after part 1

**Chapter 26: The morning after the night before**

**I don't own Twilight, I do own my mistakes. Thanks for reading my story, and now on with what Bella has to say...**

BPOV:

Can one person have lived their whole lives in the shades?

I was never popular, never particularly teased, my family was average, I quietly made my way through school and university, always hanging in the outskirts. I always felt not normal, yet somehow special.

I was always had the dream of the green eyes, it helped me through my days.

But this morning, everything felt brighter, as if a spotlight or the sun was shining on my existence. I felt alive. My body felt wonderfully tingly, all my senses heightened.

_Well, __that's__ what __a __good__ orgasm __does __to __you,_ my inner cynic said and I half laughed half snorted in my still sleepy stage.

Strong hands tightened around me. Yes keep me here. Grounded on earth, yet flying high in the skies.

Then I heard his voice.

"Bella? What had you laughing?" he asked, and I opened one eye to look at him.

"I'm just feeling so good, this morning!" I said and he kissed my nose.

Can a man's giggle be cute? Edward's was. We lied there for what seemed ages until I was about to burst.

I ran to the loo. After I disentangled the mess that was my hair, brushed my teeth to perfection and then I was out to the smell of hot strong coffee.

I couldn't stop my grin.

I was euphoric.

**So, what do you think**?


	27. Chapter 27: The morning after part 2

**Chapter 27: The morning after the night before part 2**

BPOV:

Edward came and held me in his arms. His eyes were the brightest shade of green.

I was mesmerised.

"Never let me go" I whispered.

"I won't". he said easily but very seriously. He tightened his hold but then let me go and went to the bathroom.

When he came out, I asked the first question.

"Edward,you never answered me the question from yesterday: What are you?"

"I'm a wizard of sorts..."he trailed off unsure of the word he used.

"A wizard? Care to elaborate?"

"Well, when I made the oath, something about the energy, that flowed in us as a star has stayed with me. It's helping work things my way, sort of, but you always have to give something back. So... I can have visions, probably cast a couple of spells, but because the energy flowing through me in its purest form so it helps others by touching me. I know I have the power to do some other stuff, but it's really not wise to use the energy like that. We might though... "

"How come I don't have the energy?"

"You're not supposed to hold on to your original ...uh... form? substance? ...anyway. But because I took the oath, at that stage, as a spirit, two things, keep happening: I can always find you, and I have kept on to the energy..."

He then paused to kiss my lips softly, as if willing me to forget the information. Maybe a change of subject would be good.

"Ok, another one for you then, exactly how old are you?" I asked trying to digest this information.

"My birthday is on the 21st of December, and I was born 210 years ago in this city..."

"210? Oh my, you haven't aged a single day past... what 25, 26?

"I think I stopped ageing at around that age roughly, but now that we're together, I think it's going to kick in again. Just yesterday I found my first white hair..." he said smiling.

"What do you mean kick in? How fast..."

"Oh no, nothing to worry about, it's all about balance, we will probably match our ages in our early forty's or so."

"So you 'll think we'll be together then?"I asked knowing I was pushing my luck.

"I don't think so, I know so". He said softly but with conviction.

We spent the rest of the morning learning more about each other, stealing kisses, embraces and cooking breakfast and lunch together.

Lying on the sofa, watching silly TV he leaned in and sniffed my hair and neck.

"Go on a date with me Bella? Please?"

"I' d love to."

**So, what do you think?**


	28. Chapter 28: The second time

**Chapter 28: The second time **

**Hello my lovely readers! Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and stuff! You guys are the best. Before I give you their first date I will give you their second life. **

_~Flashback~_

_BPOV_

_I was born in a small village near the sea. My father was a fisherman, my mother was responsible for the upbringing of the children and the small garden and field in the back. She also had to care for the small livestock that we kept. _

_Even though I was happy as a child, it always bothered that my brothers were regarded as more important, or more valuable. I knew I was a burden and my parents had to come up with a dowry for my future husband. _

_My mother taught me how to sew and embroider clothes. I had a knack for it and soon, the merchant in town, asked my father to pay for me. He wanted to take me to his store. I would work on the embroidery of the dresses and he would show me, how to work on the machine he had brought from Paris the year before. _

_I was quick to learn, eager and overzealous, as this change of luck had meant, I had a small allowance every week and 3 hours every Sunday after mass. I was not to work on Sunday as the tailor was very religious. _

_You could tell the priest was trying to arrange for his daughter to wed the tailor. Hence, their hate towards me. Yannis never touched me, he referred to me as his psychokori (daughter of the soul, not someone you're related, but you look after as your own child)._

_In the island of Crete, in those times, psychokores were very frequent. Deriving from poor families, they were sent as servants, or even mistresses in some cases to rich households. _

_But Yannis regarded me as his daughter and worker. I was lucky to be living in the city, have the respect of my fellow citizens. Yannis even sought to school me so I could take over his trade when he retired. _

"_Marika," he used to say "one day all of my livelihood will become yours." _

_And when he was joyous, or a bit tipsy from the raki that the tavern sold him he used to grab me in his arms and twirl me and he would yell in his drunken state"You will sew this world together, daughter, one stitch at a time!"_

_All was going well, in the town of Chania, until I saw him._


	29. Chapter 29: The meeting

**Chapter 29: The meeting**

**Guys I lost count and I have missed some review replies, if I have missed yours, do know that I love all your words and feedback. You have been most welcoming and I love reading about your theories. **

**I don't own Twilight, I own a time continuum as I keep taking you back and forth.**

**Also my mistakes are my own.**

**Here's Franco aka Edward in hot Italian mode.**

_Flashback~_

_EPOV_

_I knew that I would see her the minute I got off the boat. The journey from Venice had been endless. My heart was already broken as I saw her. I knew from the other corner of the port, the catholic priest's eldest daughter was devouring me with her eyes._

_I turned back to her. Her long brown hair was plaited and surrounded her angelic features. Her eyes were wide in surprise as she was taking me in. I couldn't tell if there was recognition there, but I hoped our link was not lost. Her slender figure and Sunday dress made her stand out in the crowd like a nobleman's daughter. _

_I knew her father's name Yannis, the tailor of Chania, his threads and fabrics had reached the port of Venice and left the dames of the Piazza di San Marco begging for more. The carnival was near and then the Gondole racing festivities were soon to follow. Yannis had even started his own silk production after finding an isolated field behind the lake and started growing mulberry trees to host the silkworms. _

_That's what I was here for. _

_As it was, we had some little time to be together in this life._

_I couldn't understand why it had to be that way. _

_Why for me to salvage our connection, our love I would have to sacrifice her. _

_She would do it willingly for me. _

_She'd carry that burden of my daring to challenge the course of events. _

_Daring to challenge the way things were._

_ Daring to commit to this to us. _

_But she was life and love and I was about to sacrifice her. _

_Tears stung my eyes. I brought my hand to wipe them. The everpresent pain sliced through my aching heart. La mia Bella ragazza (My beautiful girl). I turned again, and she was there, on the promenade, watching me descent from the boat, frozen. _

_I can't speak to her now. I can't tell her how long I was dreaming for her, she needs to discover this on her own. _

_First though, straight to Yannis' boutique. Please follow me sweet girl. _

**So, what do you think?**


	30. Chapter 30: Franco & Yannis

**Chapter 30: Yannis and Franco**

**Hello my lovely readers! How are you? I want to thank you all for your reviews and alerts I feel like a fanfic princess!Also I hope you're enjoying your Saturday!  
><strong>

**I don't own Twilight, I do own my mistakes and an awesome dress for the Christmas party at work!**

BPOV:

_~Flashback~_

_His green eyes lingered on me. I knew it was him. _

_It was him I was dreaming about._

_It was him that made me clumsily touch myself at night time. _

_Oh, no, I couldn't confess those impure thoughts. _

_I couldn't, it was like a long lost connection with something that was me and wasn't. _

_I know I'm not making any sense. _

_My lusty thoughts of green eyes and a velvety voice,seemed somehow too private and sacred to confess. _

_His eyes never left me. _

_My body was pulsing with need, like those nights where my hands find that sweet spot and gave me that release I need so badly._

_I was never one of those girls who made small talk of boys or men. _

_I was never one to look at them. _

_I kept to myself, always polite with our customers, but everyone was kept at arm's length. _

_I walked on the promenade either with Yannis or on my own, on the way to the shops or on my Sunday stroll. _

_I knew for a fact, even though I never partook in the gossip of town, that Dimitra the baker's daughter had lost her virginity outwith the binds of holy matrimony to a farmer wholesaler that delivered flour to the bakery. _

_I didn't want to be one of those girls who succumbed. I wanted to be educated and independent._

_Now I wasn't so sure anymore. All it took was one glimpse at his strong jaw with the goatee that begged to be touched and I was lost in a sea of confusion, lust and anticipation._

_What did this all mean? All of the sudden all my principles had gone out of the window and all I wanted to do was let him do whatever he wanted with me._

_All of the sudden, I was just like Dimitra. _

_Dimitra who had to elope with the farmer as she had fallen pregnant, and her youngest sister was now the mockery of all of Chania, by association._

_I could tell he was Italian by his wonderfully tailored costume. Also, I could make the credentials of the Serenissima (Venetian Republic) on the boat._

_His eyes somehow begged me to follow. He was walking in front and I kept closely behind, feeling silly as I was stopping to look at the shop windows. I even stopped even at the butchers. _

_I blushed crimson at that, I was no better shade than the beef on display behind the glass._

_But the route he was taking was becoming all the more familiar, until Yannis's shop came into view, and he quickly went inside. _

_I panicked then. I didn't know what to do. Was he there for me? No, no, this is so silly, he just saw me ten minutes ago, he probably doesn't even know who I am. _

"_Franco, benvenuto!" (Welcome Franco!) Yannis exclaimed enthusiastically, as I was entering the shop filled with trepidation._

"_Come sta amico mio?" (How are you my friend?) Yannis asked with his booming voice.  
><em>

"_Si, sto bene, grazie! Come stai Yannis?" (Yes, I'm doing all right, thanks, how are you Yannis?) Franco said, smiling, as I was hiding in the shadows behind the counter. _

"_Sto bennissimo, grazie. Come era il tuo viaggio qui? (I am very well, thanks, How was your trip here?) Yannis shook Franco's hand firmly and I decided to make an appearance._

_Then his eyes was on me. My fate had been sealed, when his brilliant smile came on sight. _

**So, what do you think? Can I please ask from the lurkers to come forth just this once? I'd love to hear from you! Yes I'm talking to you guys in the back!  
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	31. Chapter 31: Tension

**Chapter 31: Tension**

**Hello my lovely readers, so glad to see some of you lurkers sending some love! I can't express my gratitude to you guys, you are my S to my Superman!**

**As always I don't own Twilight, I do own lots of bleach as I checked my cupboards this afternoon.**

**Here's Franco or Edward.**

EPOV

_~Flashback~_

_She was there. I heard the door opening soon after I had entered Yannis's shop and greeted him. _

_I felt myself being drawn to her. She hadn't surfaced yet, I knew she was hiding behind the counter. I tried to sound enthusiastic to Yannis as we had been exchanging correspondence for quite some time._

_But all had been done for her. La mia bella ragazza, with her long wavy brown hair and the translucent skin. Her small crafty hands and her eagerness to learn. Her inquisitive brown eyes. And I have to give her up soon. My chest constricted with the thought._

_A sad fate indeed. We politely chatted with Yannis and then she appeared. Yannis's loud voice seemed to startle her._

"_Marika come here, let me introduce you to Franco. He's interested in our silks, threads and your embroideries. Franco this is my psychokori, Marika, and it's her stitches that made you come all the way from Venice." _

_She came forth, but kept her eyes down and then spoke to me in Italian. I swear I had shivers when my name rolled out of her lips._

"_Piacere di incontrarLa Signor' Franco."( Nice to meet you, Mr Franco.) she said in a quiet timid voice. _

"_It's nice to meet you too, Signorina." I knew my voice was shaking but she was so close. So close I could smell her irresistible scent of gardenia. _

_Her adorable blush turned her cheeks and long neck scarlet, and I fought the urge to trace her blush with my fingers._

_Yannis seemed oblivious to the tension that could be cut with a knife. His loud voice echoed in the store and strong hands soon found my shoulder._

"_Now, let's go to the taverna, and we can talk business, over a nice bottle of raki, then, shall we?" _

_As soon as he turned around, I took the note and slipped it in her hands. We only had tonight, I couldn't wait to be with her. But then I thought again, why did she have to suffer? Such a hard decision to make. But I knew f we ever had a chance of being together at any given time she'd have to know what was in store for her. _

_I kept changing my mind, but the glimpses of us dying apart and losing our connection kept strengthening my resolve. I had to let her decide. _

_And my note read: "Mia bella ragazza, meet me by the catholic church at 3 in the morning, I long to hold you in my arms. Franco." _

_I knew she 'd be there. I had sealed her fate in such a horrendous way. Because as it turned out we weren't going to be alone that night._

**We're in for a bumpy ride...folks hold on tight!**


	32. Chapter 32: The price is paid

**Chapter 32: The price is paid**

**Angst Alert for this chapter, not suitable for the faint hearted. You are warned. Violence alert.**

**Pictures of the Matala caves are also available on my profile. This is the longest chapter I have written yet, I could not stop. Also I have posted a link with the map of Crete on my profile. You will find out why later on.**

BPOV:

_~Flashback~_

_He was pacing under the dim light of the lantern on the church's courtyard. His steps echoed in the silence of the night. _

_I felt compelled to go. No other option seemed available. Nothing could have prepared me for the choice I had to make that night. The price I had to pay. _

_When he saw me, his eyes grew sad and excited. Green eyes that had haunted me for many a year. _

_My heart and mind and body had surrendered without my knowledge._

_He quickly took those few steps towards me and grabbed my hands._

"_We have to make haste, lest someone sees us, bella ragazza!" His hands were hot and sweaty but the touch somehow made my whole body come to life. _

_Somehow this was me being whole again. _

_He brought us to the carriage and escorted me in the wagon, then he started taking us out of town._

_I tried to convince myself this had been the right thing to do. Not once had I defied Yannis's rules, we were a respectable family, even though whisperers had already started rumours about Yannis bedding me. _

_But I digress. _

_I looked out of the window and saw that we were headed towards Kato Galatas, the small beach on the remote corner._

_In a half hour we were there. He took the lantern from the front of the carriage and opened the wagon door. Fear and anticipation took over me. I was with a strange man, on a remote corner where we couldn't be heard for miles. We couldn't be seen but only from the sea, and there was no moon tonight, the fishermen had stayed ashore, I knew these things from my own father. He never went out without a moon, and then he changed the times during the seasons. _

_He grabbed my hands and with his wonderful musical accent he spoke again,only this time, his right hand traced slowly my blushing cheek. _

"_Your blush is beautiful, Marika, don't hide it from me." he said with a sigh. _

"_Signore, what on earth were you thinking bringing me here at the dead of night?"_

"_Let me ask you something Marika, what do you think this is? My asking to meet you here? Why did you think you came here tonight? I have asked around town for you, I know you are a level headed young woman, never paying attention to the gossip of the townsfolk." his voice was hurried all those words uttered in one single breath. _

"_I've been dreaming of you, I know it's you, I felt it when you touched me. I heard your voice in my sleep asking me to be yours. I've seen your eyes, your ever changing green eyes, sometimes stormy, sometimes calm and serene. You talked to me about making a choice. Pray, tell me signore, what can a little tailor's psychokori, do to assist a nobleman of the Serenissima?"_

_His firm grip on my hands, and the urgency of his voice, made the hair stand on end. _

"_Listen to me Marika, we have been one once before, it doesn't matter on what form or shape, and now we have very little time. Tomorrow everything will be revealed to Yannis, and you will have to leave."_

"_But how, I took extra precaution, coming here tonight and..." he shushed me effectively by placing a palm on my lips. _

"_We have been seen, unfortunately, it pains my heart to say so, we have been seen by Toula, the priest's eldest, she had followed us all the way from the promenade this afternoon, she had sent her servant to let her know, if he noticed something peculiar but because he didn't detect the carriage, he's riding on the donkey, he will find us in a couple of hours. Now, please listen to me. This is a decision you have to make, although our fate is pretty much sealed on this life, my beloved. Please know that I have tried to avoid this from happening, but in my visions I saw this is the only way we will not sever the connection between us. Last time we were forced apart, I took an oath, to travel through time and space, forms and shapes so I can find my place next to you, my love. But as the powers above us require balance, and I altered what was meant to be, I have to sacrifice you in this life so we can be together at last at the next." he said, while his hands were trembling, his eyes stormy and troubled. _

_My brain was overwhelmed, tears were stinging my eyes as I tried to absorb the information, we were being followed by Toula's servant, oh my, Yannis will know, and this stranger is asking me to sacrifice, the only life I know I have, my dreams and education and my family's honour just to sacrifice for him. He's insane, that's what he is, if I start walking quickly I can make it back to town before the sun rises, hopefully Yannis will still be asleep, he drank way too much last night. And what about, before, there was no before, these are words of the devil, not a Christian man, maybe he's trying to seduce me to put the spawn of devil in me. How am I to escape? What was I thinking coming here? Maybe he was sent by the priest's daughter to badmouth me. I knew, I knew this witch wanted my demise. _

"_I know what you're thinking la mia bella, but if you could believe I am not here to harm you this has been the hardest decision of my life. I have loved you since the day I was born, la mia carissima, and we were one before. Let me just show to you what has been and will come to pass."_

_And with these words, his thumbs covered my eyelids the rest of his hands holding my face in place. I was transported to the time of the star, and I kept praying to God that this pain was not part of his soul, the severance of our connection tore through my body and a scream echoed in the silence escaped my lips. And I saw a glimpse of us dressed differently in a different town walking hand in hand surrounded by our children smiling at each other, and just the vision filled my heart. _

_I knew what had to be done then. _

_With tears in my eyes, and the aching of my torn soul I knew I had to sacrifice myself for us to be in the future. _

"_My Franco, let me do this for us. But before I do, you have to make me yours. Take the pain away until morning, and I will deal with all the world's menace for us. You couldn't have known that I was going to be the sacrifice. You couldn't never blame your oath, we can never be apart."_

_His eyes were filled with tears as he took my face in his, I braved a smile. _

_I wiped his tears away, and I knew I had made the right choice, I was at peace. Let them see, let them know who I belong to, this is a sanctified union, above God, above love, above anything that I have ever known. _

_We had to be one once again, to be able to withstand the eternity of solitude that awaited us. _

_He kissed me then. My lips tingled from the sensation and I opened my mouth to welcome him in. The kiss became frantic his tongue caressing mine with urgency as we had so little time to be united. There, on that beach, he took my naked body and kissed all the curves and swells, caressed every inch of me as if I was precious, breakable. His naked body covered mine and his hand cupped my sex and rubbed gently. I felt safe and loved and in that moment I saw the love in him, his star-like quality making him shine through. _

"_I love you," I said honestly. _

_His brilliant smile shone and his lips claimed my own._

_He stopped after a moment. He then said."I love you too, la mia bella ragazza. I have been waiting for you for so long..." He then peppered kisses on all my face._

_I was ready for our union, but he had different ideas. He started kissing down my body, as he used his hands to hold me in place as his face was on my sex and his tongue was licking me up and down. I couldn't fathom the intensity of the sensations. My inexperienced hands tried to stroke his length, and felt pride swelling in me when I saw his eyes rolling in the back on his head from the pleasure._

_He kept licking and he then inserted two fingers inside me. I was losing my mind, it was all too much. I kept tightening my grip on the strokes I delivered and took the wetness from his head and used it to lubricate my hand. _

_He then grasped my hand and pushed it away from him. _

"_Did I do something wrong?" Insecurity took over me then and it felt so silly because in the morning, I would have to deal with the rejection and ridicule of myself and Yannis and then my family's._

"_No, my beloved, I just wanted to hold on 'till I'm inside you." he said with panting breaths. _

"_Let us make haste then, love, as we only have only so long to enjoy each other..."_

_He came to my face and held my hands in his above my head. I couldn't wait any more. _

"_Take me Franco, I belong to you." I said confidently. _

_And with that, he thrusted inside me and stilled. I winced from the pain but never felt more complete in my life. He kept his eyes shut. _

"_Let me look at your angelic eyes, Franco."_

_When his eyes opened, the star explosion happened again and again in his depths. Our quiet pants and sweet words lingered in the silence of the night. _

_He talked of love, and begged again and again for my forgiveness. I wiped tears from his eyes as his hips thrusted again and again, and once the pain subsided, I started feeling the intense pleasure starting at the end of my spine, and from my sex getting all the way through my body and making me moan loudly. _

_I felt it again and again, lost in a sea of pure bliss, pleasure. It kept creeping in and his loving eyes, made the feeling stronger and stronger. _

"_Give me everything, mia bella."_

"_I already have my Franco."_

_And then we exploded together. He spilled deep inside me. I have never felt more complete in my entire life._

_We dressed up with kisses, caresses, goodbyes and more tears. We knew what we had to do._

_By the time we got to the shop, the news had already spread, in Chania. The sun had risen. Yannis, dragged me inside, screaming. He grabbed me by my hand, and shoved me inside._

_He kept screaming at me: " Tell me it's a lie Marika, what are you doing with Franco? Is it true? Marika what were you thinking? I have respected you when you were just a lowly whore just like Dimitra. I should have taken you, I treated you like a daughter and this is how you repay me?"_

_His rant kept going and I thought my silence was the answer. But he grew more aggravated. The door to the shop was left open. He then grabbed my dress and tore it to shreds. He removed his belt and started lashing at me. _

_My screams could be heard in the neighbourhood.I closed my eyes and kept Franco's eyes in my heart and our promise of happiness. I tried to keep still but the tearing of my flesh where Yannis's belt touched made me wince. _

_But when Franco tried to intervene, Stavros, Toula's servant kicked him to his stomach._

"_Nooooo!" I screamed and managed to release myself from Yannis's hold and ran to him._

_My torn dress did not cover me but I stood naked in front of everyone protecting Franco with my naked body. _

_My back was bleeding with Yannis's lashes and Franco's hand came up and touched me. _

"_I'll go, you hypocritical bastards, I'll leave, never to be seen again," I spat at them. " Just don't hurt him, do not touch him, let him leave in peace."_

"_Yannis, tell my family I'm sorry for the shame I bestowed upon them, but I do not regret what I did." _

_I turned to my beloved, "Go now, remember to come back for our son. You will find him when the time comes, " I reassured. My gut was telling me to trust him. _

"_Witch, she's a witch leaving on the shadows of the devil," Toula screamed and I ran and slapped her hard. _

"_Envious bitch, steer clear from me or I'll kill you." I spat at her._

_I went back to Franco and gave him a quick peck on the lips I whispered him to go, while I still felt strong._

_Then I went into the shop in front of a gobsmacked Yannis, put on my work dress, caressed his cheek and left._

_I knew where I could go. It took me three days to get from the fields to the Matala beach. Only two shepherds had their flocks eating in the near greens. _

_I hid in the cave. I knew I was pregnant. I lived like a wild animal, hunting boars and fishing. One day I was outside one of the shepherds saw me. _

_The next day he took me in. Vassilis had lost his wife to childbirth and thought I was a gift from God to make sure he didn't repeat his mistakes. He cared for me and brought me goat's milk to keep me strong. _

_On that full moon when my water broke, he came. I knew he'd be there. He set anchor on the beach. He came with that majestic ship of his, dressed like a king, beautiful like a god.  
><em>

"_Vassilis, this is Franco," I told the astonished shepherd.I knew the time for my sacrifice had come. _

"_Are you ready love?" He whispered tenderly in my ear._

"_Yes." I had lived a full life, I learnt love, that our existence was what we made of it, it didn't take travels and knowledge, it took love and sacrifice._

_When our son, took his first breath, I took my last. _

_A mere second later I saw father and son walking together in the streets of Venice._

"_Was my mother pretty, Papa?" Fragos asked._

"_Yes, my son, your mother was the most beautiful and brave woman I have ever met. She can still see you, you know. So if you ever feel alone at night, you can call her and she will be there."_

_He then looked straight at me. I knew he could see me waive. And he waived back._

__**Wow that was fucking hard. Leave me some love people.  
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	33. Chapter 33: Waiting for tonight

**Chapter 33: Waiting for tonight**

**Hello my lovely readers, I have to say firstly I truly loved your reviews, I try to keep a track of those I have replied, if you've not received a reply, I'm sorry. I love all your reviews and some of you have quite interesting ideas we could play with. **

**Now after the heartbreaking chapter 32 we go to more cheerful subjects. **

EPOV:

I left Bella's house unwillingly. I didn't want to go back to my cold empty flat when we could be having such a bloody good time together.

But I had to organise our date for tonight and I wanted it to be special. I thought I could abuse a bit of the energy tonight, just for a bit of fun.

After all, the god damn universe owed us a great deal, after all we had been through.

So I called Ali, because a nice little restaurant was what needed for this joyous occasion. The phone rang and his hoarse voice was heard.

"Bonsoir, Ali, comment-allez vous? C'est Edward di Edinburg."

(Good evening Ali, how are you? This is Edward of Edinubrgh.)

"Oui, oui ça va bien, ecoutez moi, s'il vous plait, j'arrive ce soir, avec quelqu'un tres importante. Je voudrais ta meilleure table. Oui, je comprends mon ami. Ne't inquiete pas, Suzan reviendra." Edward said on the phone.

(Yes, yes, I'm well, listen to me, please, I arrive this evening, with someone very important. I would like your best table. Yes, I understand my friend. Not to worry, Suzan will return.)

He took out his phone, and texted:

_Can I pick you up at around 7? A nice dress would be nice, and light clothing is recommended for where we're going. I'm looking forward to tonight. Oh and bring ovenight clothing. ~Edward._

After hanging up with Ali, I called the Golden Tulip and booked the suite there. Bella, this night will stay with you for ever. Tonight everything starts for us.

BPOV:

I want to jump from joy like a 16 year old, when I get his text.

I sit on the sofa, and try to control my breathing.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I mutter to myself.

Then I remember my medication. And then, my euphoric mood got dampened.

"Not tonight, you stupid cow, you cannot be psycho bitch tonight, kay?" I say to myself in the mirror.

I sliped my antidepressants in my hand and gulped them with water.

I started packing my overnight bag, and then shivers went through my body, anticipating what he wants us to. Spend the night.

And then the giant 'DUH!' flashed in my head and I ran to my phone. I reply quickly to his text and then run to get ready.

_Looking forward to tonight, 7 sounds great. I will try my best as per your attire requirements! Are you sure you got the light clothing right? ~Bella_

His reply was instant: _Yes__light__clothing__is__best,__trust__me__on__this__one._

Only four hours before our first date. This felt so right, I was floating on air! Now back to the outfit challenge.

**I know this is a short one, but next chappie we have the date! Yay! And I have a suprpise for you!Sooo, yes, not going to be able to post tomorrow folks, I'm away for a full day do at work. See you Wednesday lovelies!**


	34. Chapter 34: The date part 1

**Chapter 34: The date part 1**

**Hello my lovely readers! I know I said Wednesday but in my defence, I had to work with a hangover on Wednesday, so I wasn't going to be irresponsible and post the all important date in that condition. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!**

**Here's our Edward:**

EPOV

I was looking in my closet for the past 15 minutes, hopelessly. I am officially sad, or a girl, depending on which way you look at it.

I wasn't a sad girl. No way. I wanted to impress her. She let me in so easily, she trusted me and I was going to show her, that life was about being happy.

And I will make her. Happy that is.

Yes, the black stripy suit with the plum shirt. No tie. I had shaved meticulously, scrubbed all my body parts thoroughly.

I never took a nightbag, though. Yes, I was hopeful.

That I wouldn't need it.

But it was up to her.

Either way tonight would be amazing. Now, to walk to my beloved's house.

BPOV

I had a little black dress on, you can't go wrong with the LBD. My shoes were nice peep toe flats in a red colour and I was wearing a cardigan, because no matter, how light I was asked to dress, this was Edinburgh, and I would be lucky not to catch a frostbite just by waiting for a taxi on the street.

I had an overnight bag, I was ready to go.

And I was nervous. Why was I nervous? The man clearly liked me, we had been together in the beginning of our existence. Right? Right.

It's just all these years of self doubt had left their scar. And the scar was big, I went from being the trophy girl of Jake, to a laying low American girl in Edinburgh.

I don't socialise, I don't have friends. I keep everyone at a distance. Not anymore. It was like I was over trying before. And then? I just gave up. I did. I couldn't. I had been strong. Enough to change my life.

My inner musings were interrupter by my buzzer.

Oh my, I thought very quickly.

I answered very quickly.

"Come on upstairs!" I said very eagerly. And I was going to get kissed in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4...

He lifted me high, stared into my eyes with a longing expression.

"I missed you..." He said softly.

And then I was smiling. Because he was honest. There was no pretence. No games. Nothing but honesty.

"I missed you too," I admitted easily.

He kissed me then. Just our lips touching, softly reverently. He pulled away and then did it again. This time he slightly parted his lips. I copied the actions.

Then our tongues were touching, slowly caressing each other.

I was in heaven. Absolute heaven.

He held me tighter. And in that firm embrace, I could breathe again.

I could breathe with ease. Because I felt loved and beautiful and alive. Above all safe.

I closed my eyes and lost myself in the kiss.

He started pulling apart.

"If" kiss "we" kiss "don't" kiss "leave" kiss "now" kiss "we" kiss "will" kiss "lose" kiss "our reservations," he said in one go luckily.

"Ok, Edward, where are we going? You asked me to dress lightly? In Edinburgh, are you tired of me already and trying to make it look like an accident, pal?" I asked pretending annoyance and using my best Scottish accent.

He laughed wholheartedly.

"I don't ever want to be your pal!" he said in between chuckles.

"Besides, I had to impress you on our first date. So where we're going is not going to be this cold."

"You _do_know that I have to be back to work on Monday, right?"

"Right," he said but his wide grin could not be disguised.

"How are we doing this?" I asked and then he came close to me. His eyes were sparkling, like really bright green sparkles were leaving his eyes and were penatrating my skin. They were warm but not burning. I took a step back in fear but he was fast to grip my wrist and say gently: " Do not fear me Bella, please trust me."

He placed my overnight bag on his shoulder, then he held my other hand and then we were off.

**Ooops, I did it again! I will update again tomorrow I promise! Leave me some love, please? Pretty please?**


	35. Chapter 35: The date part 2

**Chapter 35: The date part 2**

**Hello! I don't own anything but very nice shoes to go with my dress tonight.**

**My mistakes are my own... **

BPOV

It was sneaky. It was like a mist. Can the goddamn mist be sneaky? We were surrounded by a thick mist, or a cloud, how do you describe outside weather indoors for goodness sake?

And I could feel in the pit of my stomach that somehow I was levitating, without having moved an inch.

And the warm grip of Edward's hands was filling my body with the energy.

I could feel a tingly sensation taking over my body, like needles and pins and goosebumps combined somehow.

And from our circle, I could Edward's sparkling eyes lost in concentration.

His smile though, clearly showed that he enjoyed what he was doing. He enjoyed it. He was in control.

And in all honesty, I never felt so much as the tiniest turbulence. My eyes remained stubbornly open.

All I could see was the mist initially dissipating.

And then the mist started clearing up. And then I saw a night sky above some port?

There was a brightly lit promenade and the lights reflected on the calm water.

We were getting closer and closer to the promenade.

And then, in an instant we were on it.

Edward closed his eyes in concentration. He took a deep breath. I didn't know how much this had taken out of him.

We were in a different country?

Have we teleported?

Seriously?

I was in proper shock.

Where were we?

It came as no surprise that the weather was a lot warmer, and the night was mild.

No wind, no waves in the water, just a calm breeze.

I looked left and right to find out where we were.

Then Edward opened his eyes and smiled brilliantly at me.

"Welcome to Casablanca." He said.

And then I blacked out.

**Hehehehe...Pictures of Casablanca at night time on my profile! **


	36. Chapter 36: The date part 3

**Chapter 36: The date part 3**

**Hello my lovely readers! Happy birthday to me! And for you... an extra long chapter!**

EPOV

I was such an idiot. What was I thinking using the energy to travel? She hasn't done this before of course she's overwhelmed you IDIOT!

I was cradling her head with one hand and trying to support her body with the other.

"Bella! Bella wake up baby, please! I pleaded and was trying to remain inconspicuous as people were starting to look our way.

I lightly tapped her cheek, and her eyes started fluttering.

"Uhm..." she uttered.

"Edward?" she asked quietly, keeping her eyes shut.

"Yes, baby?"

"I like you calling me baby," she said softly and smiled.

"Ok, then, I will keep using it, are you all right baby?" I asked and I'm sure my voice could betray my excitement and relief.

She started getting up, my hand staying firmly on the small of her back. I supported her weight a bit, and then she was upright. Her eyes, her wonderful brown eyes were happy and lovingly looking into mine. I couldn't resist. I gave her a quick peck on the lips and lightly stroked her long soft hair.

"Did I hear you say we were in Casablanca? As in Casablanca, Morocco? How on earth did we get here?" she asked with a dumbfounded expression.

"Well remember, I was saying I was a wizard of sorts, and I have our star energy flowing through me?"

"Yeeeees..." She made the cutest sound. I quietly chuckled and returned to stroke her cheek.

"Well it's the energy that helped us travel." I said simply.

"Okaaaay." she said but I still think she was a bit confused.

She seemed to slowly start realising, that this was not a figment of her imagination. It was so easy to lose ourselves in our own bubble.

Inquisitively she turned her head from side to side taking in the night view of the sea promenade of Casablanca, the Hassan Mosque on the right and the city behind her.

"Oh my God. We truly are in Casablanca, aren't we?" She then started squealing excitedly, and jumped up and down like a happy child. And it was indeed that adorable carefree behaviour that I was hoping to revive.

She turned and looked at me. She approached me then and hugged me fiercely tightly which I welcomed happily.

"So you like it then?" I whispered in her ear.

"Like it? I love it!" her words were accompanied by a turning her head as if to show me the miracle behind our travelling.

"So, what have you planned for us, Mr Cullen?" She asks playfully.

"Well dinner first and entertainment at Casablanca's finest, if you wish to follow me, Miss Swan."

I couldn't conceal my excitement.

We started walking side by side, and we both felt a little awkward, like a weird grey zone.

But I thought, this is no time for shyness, and I took her hand in mine. She paused for a short moment then looked at our hands together, then removed her hand only to bring it back and entwine our fingers together.

"There," she said" this is a bit more comfortable."

"You're right." And it truly felt like we were shy and sweet as high school teenagers venturing out on their first date. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Seeing her walking, looking around her in awe, smiling if we came across a nice store, moving our hands in a playful way. She was independent, happy, but needed the reassurance of my touch. This was my Bella. Mine. My heart was swelling with pride with the beautiful woman next to me.

We walked like that, in a comfortable silence, before she turned and asked me smiling: " Why Casablanca, Edward?"

"Well I have some friends here, that own a restaurant, they lived in Edinburgh, before they got married and moved out here. Ali is from Morocco, but his wife Suzan is Scottish, but they're both very happy here."

"I can see that, this is so beautiful, thank you for bringing me here, Edward!" she said shyly, I swear she blushed and looked away.

It was so endearing. It was what we needed. It was what she needed. Normalcy with a twist. I smiled at the thought. As if attuned to my thoughts Bella turned and returned the sentiment with a sweet smile.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked hesitantly.

"I'm just thinking, _this_**,**is exactly what we needed."

"Yes it is. Is the restaurant far?"

"Just at the end of the walkway."

And soon, the burgundy building appeared and the pier next to it.

I was still holding her overnight bag and was thinking if it might have been better to check in the hotel first. But then, I had told them that we were coming after dinner.

Bella was loving this, I could tell. We were welcomed by Ali and Suzan, who has returned, as anticipated, very hot headed couple but you had to love their chemistry.

"Come 'ere laddie, who's that pretty lass, you brought us?" Suzan's thick Scottish accent and I turned the accent on for everyone's entertainment.

"Aye, Suzan, this is ma Bella, ma beautiful, stunning Bella. Ken wha' I'm talking aboot?" I asked with a wide grin, watching Bella's eyes grow as wide as saucers.

My cheeky grin was erased by Ali's comment.

"Have you asked the lass if she wanted to be yours, or are you just keeping her drugged, ye bugger!" He and Suzan boomed with laughter but Bella was quick to retaliate.

"Well of course I'm _his _Bella, and you should keep reminding your wife, Ali, because with all that drool, you'd need to mop this place three times a day!" she was laughing towards the end of it and squeezed my hand in reassurance.

Suzan and Ali, looked at each other for a split second and then laughed together.

"I like her, she's got the fire in her! Yi sure you're no' Scottish, lass?"

"I'm quite sure, yes." She answered simply but the smile never left her face.

"Well said Bella, well said..." I whispered in her ear and she shivered. She turned and her look was saying that she was enjoying herself.

I didn't know I could affect her this way and I was drinking these moments eagerly.

We were escorted to the best table with a view of the pier. The night lights reflected on the sea. The atmosphere was light. We were touching the whole time. Hands, gentle caresses, her warm skin on mine. We were orbiting around each other in an unconscious dance.

I made sure to order in French and that was welcomed in a searing kiss.

When our wine came, Bella held my hand. She was stroking my hand unbeknownst to her, and my heart was pounding on my chest from the sheer excitement of her quite everyday gesture. We seemed intimate.

"You said this was the third time we've been together?" she interrupted my blissful state.

"Yes." I answered but I didn't want to bring that heartache of our second time together.

Not tonight.

I wanted tonight to be about getting to know each other, our likes our dislikes, the music she likes and I like, our habits, movies.

"Do you not want to talk about it?" She asked rhetorically as she had already perceived my reluctance to engage in the subject.

"No, not tonight, if I'm honest." and then I continued "what kinds of music do you like?" and as simply as that, we drifted into our bubble and easy flowing conversation.

**I have pictures of the restaurant on my profile sweeties! See you Monday!**


	37. Chapter 37: The date part 4

**Chapter 37: The date part 4**

**Hello my lovely readers! Hope you are enjoying your Sunday! Thanks for the awesome birthday wishes, I love you all!**

BPOV

How do you know that a date is going well? I thought that a date was going well when somebody's tongue was down my throat by the end of it. Or, when somebody tried to cop a feel up my skirt or down my blouse.

I have been sorely mistaken.

A date is going well when you both declare your undying love for old school rock, when you both say that Jethro Tull's best album is Thick as a Brick and you both admit to having a thing for tracks that last over 10 minutes and electric guitars that send prayers to the skies.

A date is going well, when your date makes sure you' re happy, taken cared of, and makes sure he compliments you like every 10 seconds about how amazing you look and how lucky he is.

When his eyes look at you adoringly, when you have just snorted at his friend's joke.

When his eyes are adoring, and you, the only thing you have to be, is yourself.

No games, no pretenses, no strategies.

Just two people, with a loaded history yes, but with their hearts and their minds open.

Looking to explore each other.

Two people, not wanting to play any kind of strategic games.

Not wanting to play power games.

And, I have realized just now, that my idea of a good date was always in direct proportion of my own self-esteem.

Which was rotten.

Because somehow, somewhere I now feel worthy of this.

I truly feel like I belong to this man as this man has made abundantly clear that he belongs to me.

Somehow, I cannot take it slow.

We cannot take it slow.

And above all: we don't seem to want to.

And there you have it: the perfect date, the perfect start to a relationship, the perfect start to my new life.

Because this is it.

My new life.

A new me.

A stronger me.

Now, I can cry happy tears. Edward looks at me. He can somehow perceive where my train of thoughts has been.

"Are you okay, baby?" his hands automatically, start running soothing circles on my back.

"Yes," I whispered, "this is so new to me. This, this magic, your acceptance, us, the lack of the "talks", all of it. I know, now, I am worthy of it. I deserve to be happy." I said quietly, whilst Edward's eyes were on me and his hands and arms were protectively surrounding me.

"Of course it is Bella, I cannot fathom for even one second, when you have doubted this: your worth." He said with conviction. I could see the gears turning in his head. He must have known stuff about my past but not the full details. I wanted to tell him but not tonight.

His face seemed eerily clouded for one split second and then his expression changed, to that magical smile I wanted to think that, hopefully, he reserved only for me.

The food was delicious and the wine flowed. The music was exotic but it didn't seem to interfere with the conversations.

After dessert we moved to the bar area where a belly dancing group appeared. Their fluid motions entranced me, and Edward was standing behind me on the stool with his hands around my waist. I loved the feel of him.

I was invincible, and true, honest to the person I am.

Turning to look at him, his eyes had remained on me. All this time.

"Watch the belly dancing girls, Edward," I said pointing to the stage.

"There is only one girl, I want to be watching tonight, Bella, and I pray she'll oblige me." He said. His tone was serious.

On a confident whim I replied: "Oh you will be watching said girl, Edward." His lips were on mine before that sentence ended and all I wanted was to get alone and naked with him. NOW!

**He he he he… Sneaky little one, aren't I? Leave me some love folks!  
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	38. Chapter 38: The time is now

**Chapter 38: The time is now**

**I don't own twilight, I love you all, and my mistakes are my own. Sorry I haven't updated in some days I'm on holiday, but I have been writing everyday to deliver….**

**You can find the two songs for this one on my profile.**

EPOV

She was here.

With me.

She was carefree and smiling.

She was beauty and freedom.

She was tipsy and a little silly and all the more endearing.

We waived goodbye to Ali and Suzan with affectionate embraces.

I picked up her overnight bag from the cloakroom.

When we went outside on the brisk night air, I removed my jacket and put it on her shoulders.

I rubbed her arms for good measure.

"Edward, are we staying here for the night?" she asked me seriously.

"Yes." I answered simply.

She didn't hesitate to entwine our fingers together. She was certain. As was I.

Tonight might not be the night of all the revelations.

And, oh my, where there more revelations.

Tonight, though, would be the unveiling of my feelings.

I know technically we have know each other a little over 24 hours.

But, we have been the same entity. We have been again. This is the chance at happiness. And no time is too quick to reveal your feelings. No time is too quick to embrace that potential. To realise it.

We were walking quietly for five minutes, and then the hotel appeared at the end of the road.

I held her hand tighter.

"Are we here?" she asked.

I nodded realising all of the sudden that my throat was parched.

When we checked in, I took the key. The elevator ride was quiet. I could feel the tension building.

My hand never left hers.

When we went in the Suite, Bella looked around mesmerized. I was so glad that I could offer this for us.

Make this special.

The entire living area, had candles lit surrounding the white baby grand sitting in the middle of it. The curtains were drawn and you could see the night view of Casablanca. The yellow lights and the mosque, the colourful neighbourhoods.

Outside in the balcony, we had two armchairs and a table with a bottle of champagne chilling in a beautiful ice bucket and two flutes.

Bella, turned to look at me.

She could not control her happy tears, which were flowing freely from her eyes down her cheeks.

"You arranged all this? For me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Yes, Bella. Yes my beautiful, sweet girl. This is for you." I said and I knew I was getting so emotional.

I left her bag by the door.

I took her hand and guided her next to me on the piano stool.

And then I played. For her. I played about the devastation, the pain and the bliss. We had gone through all that only to come out stronger on the other side.

And now this was our time.

The last confident notes echoed through the big living area.

When I finally reopened my eyes, Bella's were just fluttering open.

"I know there's more to our story Edward. But, not tonight. I don't want anything to spoil my euphoric feelings."

Her hands stroked my cheeks and her eyes, those chocolate brown eyes, were pouring all her emotions.

"I need to get ready," she said quite cryptically and then went to fetch her bag by the door. I heard the ensuite door close with a soft click.

I froze in my seat by the piano. I was overcome with nerves. This was it.

I thought I should go to the balcony and have a glass of champagne but my hands were shaking and alcohol would not help my predicament one little bit.

The door opened. And Bella, stood there. The candlelight was reflecting on her creamy skin. She wore no make up and her hair was flowing on her shoulders leaving some strands to fall freely on her chest.

She wore a dark blue sating and lace baby doll that was stopping just shy of her thighs.

She was pure perfection.

"You're so beautiful," I managed to mumble whilst looking at her mesmerized.

She came closer. She looked me in the eyes. I swear she was stirring my soul. My whole existence depends on her. She holds my whole future in her small hands.

She helped me stand. She started unbuttoning my shirt. She kept her eyes on me the whole time. Seeking for approval, ensuring I was all right.

When the shirt was gone, her fingers started trailing the contours of my torso. Her touch was electrical. She was slow and thorough. My eyes shut out of their own volition. The touch was soft and purposeful.

I opened my eyes when I felt her hands on my belt buckle.

"Bella." Her name rolled out of my lips. Just a signature. It was her. And she was here. Doing these things to my body.

"Let me in," she said softly.

"You are in." I confirmed.

And then my pants and boxers followed the rest of my clothes on the floor.

And then Bella, came and held me. She put her arms around my waist and stood on her toes, very much like our first kiss. Her hands roamed on my back and allowed me to close the distance between us.

I held her tight and kissed her softly.

"You are everything to me Bella. I have spent all this time waiting for you." I confessed near her ear before my lips found her earlobe. I'm not sure if she could understand the double entendre of what I had just said.

She shuddered.

"Edward." She whimpered.

And then, as if pleading she said: "Make love to me baby."

I could have come right there, just by hearing her say that. My hands roamed her body over her negligee. I was glad she wore it still.

Her eyes lowered, taking me in and I swear she licked her lips.

I pick her up bridal style and lead us to the bedroom. The king size bed had soft cream and brown colours.

I deposited her on the bed and then joined her.

Our hands are caressing each other's face and the feeling of belonging permeates the atmosphere.

Deep in each other's eyes, all the problems of the world seem to evaporate.

Bella smiles and I smile back.

There's no words exchanged at this sacred time. Only slow breaths, hands touching, souls merging.

I'm still naked and hard in front of her, but this is just declaration of how much I want her. How much I have always wanted her.

Her hands remove the offending piece of fabric. We are naked and her body is soft, creamy, and curvy. I seriously lack words when it comes to describing her beauty.

I bring her close to me and we are holding each other whilst on our knees.

This must be one of the most erotic things ever. Her breasts graze my chest and my erection rubs against her tummy.

We lose ourselves in each other's eyes.

We kiss. Our lips softly move together. Lips part, breaths mix.

Hands move on her body, on mine. She pulls me to her. She lies on her back and I hover over her.

I love her. I do.

So I show her.

I move my lips from lips, to her jaw, her neck. Her earlobe receives extra attention. I leave open-mouthed kisses and small licks on the column of her neck.

I kiss the hollow of her neck and then start kissing her chest. My hands already graze her hard nipples.

She makes all these amazing noises. Soft mewls, pants, gasps, my name. I am lost in lust.

I start licking her right nipple and then I suck it in my mouth. I am rolling her left between my thumb and index fingers.

But then she stops me. Alarmed, I raise my eyes to see her.

"Tonight I want to return the favour," she says, and sounds very determined.

She then proceeds to lay me on my back. She stands on my side. She repeats all of my previous actions but then proceeds lower.

She kisses my abdomen and keeps eye contact. Her hand touches my shaft. Softly at first she traces the length with her fingertips. Then her hand circles me.

"Oh, Bella," I whisper, and my eyes roll in the back of my head.

Her other hand is tracing my balls. I'm trying so hard not to come.

And her mouth kisses my tip. And licks on it. My hips buck on their own. I'm on sensory overload. She then lifts my cock with her hand and she gives me a long lick from my balls all the way through to my cock's underside.

I grip the duvet hard. I can hear my moans and I'm getting louder by the minute. And then she takes me in her mouth. As deep as I can go. She licks the tip and the bobs her head up and down, in a hard, fast pace. I'm not going to last long. I just know it.

Her mouth is hot and wet and now tight as she hollows her cheeks. Her eyes remain on me the whole time. She takes me deeper. Her hand finds my own and places it on her hair. I grab some. I lift my hips and lower them to match her pace.

She's moaning surrounding me. I'm losing it. The coil in the pit of my stomach tightens. And tightens further.

She starts flicking my tip with her tongue in every upwards movement. When she starts tugging my balls, I'm a goner.

"Baby, I'm going to come." And probably this is the only coherent sentence that I will be able to utter for the next minute. Or twenty.

She never releases me from her mouth. She takes as deep as I can go. And she swallows. And I feel my orgasm pulsing through my body. And I close my eyes and thick hot streams of come hit the back of her throat. I'm breathless and my heart is pounding hard on my chest.

When my eyes are open, I find Bella on my side. Somehow, I'm holding her and her head lies gently on my chest.

"Are you all right, baby?" she asks with a smug smile, because she now knows she can bring me to my knees.

I simply nod, smile, and bring her mouth closer to mine. We kiss, and I can feel my taste on her. And this is a fucking turn on. I don't swear. I do not. It is the only way to describe what she's making me feel.

I kissed her thoroughly. I spread her legs and dove in. Her scent took over. I was helpless. I licked, nibbled, and sucked. I slid two fingers inside. I sucked on her clit.

"Edward, yes, baby, oh yes, yes, yes…" she panted. Her hands went through my hair. She kept me in place while she started rising and lowering her pelvis, slowly at first, increasing the pace after a short while.

I lapped at everything, everything she had to offer. This was getting frantic.

"Oh, baby, you love eating my pussy, don't you?" At her words, my cock twitched and I started humping the mattress. My Bella liked to talk dirty.

I moaned above her clit in agreement. That set her off. She held my head with both her hands. And I kept my two fingers inside her, glistening with her juices but she was in control. She had set a fast, hard pace.

When I sucked on her clit, her hands tightened her grip. Her walls started pulsing and tightening and she came with a loud moan. I sucked and drank from her greedily.

As soon as she became too sensitive to touch, I held her close. She was panting hard and her skin was covered with a sheen of sweat.

We were both lazily smiling at each other, and kept our foreheads touching. And then I nestled between her legs. I lifted her knees and held them with my hands. Her folds were pink and bare, her clit was swollen. I was inside her in one long thrust. She was so wet and felt amazingly tight around me.

We both groaned when our hips came flush against each other. I took my time. I was in better control now.

So this is what everybody had been praising. The glory of physical love. At this strange animalistic and raw moment, complete was all I felt.

When I opened my eyes, my adoring Bella, was looking at me trusting. She removed a strand of my hair from my face. I may have shed a couple of tears.

"I know," she said softly.

"I feel the same," she confirmed.

And then we were one. Just like we were meant to be. Just like things should have been.

We started moving simultaneously. We moved slowly. Her hands were on my shoulders. My one hand was on her ribcage, my other cupping her face.

I could not have imagined the pleasure. My entire body pulsed with it. I was inside of her body. Her walls were warm and welcoming. It was tight. She was everything.

We started moving faster. Her legs wrapped tightly around my waist. The angle made me go deeper. I was going out of my mind. She met my thrusts one by one. Her body arched.

My mouth founds her ears, her breasts, her collarbone, her neck. Her panting breaths were my new prayer.

"Oh Edward, so close…" She whispered in my ear. That spurred me on. I was moving faster and faster, losing my coordination. I brought my hand to where we were joined. Her juices had covered her clit and I started rubbing circles. Hard.

"Come for me Bella," I found confidence in her earlier words. "Come all over my cock, baby." I whispered on her neck.

And then, I felt being squeezed. Inside her I was being held. And she screamed my name as she dug her nails on my shoulders and rose to take me as deeply as possible.

Her eyes were closed, and her hair had fanned out on the pillow.

In that time, all our past and a million star explosions past before my eyes.

"It's all for you." Pleasure overtook all of my senses. I meant it. It was all for her. I could feel her everywhere and I came hard. Hard inside her body. I spilled inside her.

Our bodies were sated. Our souls were in peace at last. We were one.

_Define Love…._

_Love is you._

**Ahem, what did you all think? Oh and they did practice safe sex I just couldn't be bothered writing it. BE SAFE people. And now hit the review button. ALL OF YOU!**


	39. Chapter 39: Waking up at Casablanca

** Chapter 39: Waking up at Casablanca **

**Hello, my lovely readers! Happy holidays to you all, I hope you have love, health and family surrounding you these days. **

BPOV

I was assaulted by thoughts of his eyes gazing into me. I was barely conscious. My eyes were not open. I was just coming out of the sleepy state to know three things:

a) This was not my bed I had slept into.

b) These were not my hands that were holding me tight.

c) Somebody was sporting morning wood.

His warm body was covering my back and legs. I have never felt more safe and protected.

All my memories came flooding back. That we had flown in a cloud of mist to Casablanca. His eyes had emitted sparkles like a firework.

The easy conversation we shared. The fact that we were holding hands. We had so many things in common. I had things in common with a 210-year-old man for crying outloud. We both loved old school rock. We both loved eating with our hands. We both loved the sea and sunsets.

A 210-year-old man, who has been nothing but sweet, selfless, attentive and caring. And mine, I hope.

How fast can someone proclaim falling in love? I know I can. Having shared the same existence helps, but I am sure I couldn't find someone better for me if I tried.

"You're doing it again," he whispers smiling in my ear.

"What?" I ask professing my innocence. I know what I am doing. I'm thinking, and pretending to be asleep.

"Your mind is going a thousand miles an hour…" He licks my ear. I shivered.

I may or may not have rubbed my ass against his erection.

His one hand tightened around my waist and the other one reached for my breast. I moaned from the touch. He continued to graze my nipples.

His other hand reached for my pussy. He spread my lips with ease and circled my clit. He reached further and slid his finger inside. He had me writhing on his side. Our bodies were flush against each other and I could feel his cock rubbing against my ass. As he pumped in and out of me with his finger, he inserted a second one.

My body set the pace. I was feeling myself getting wet against his fingers. I gasped, when his hard cock quickly replaced his fingers. He slid inside me. I felt complete unlike any time I had ever been with Jacob. I quickly shook my head to drag the image out.

His lips licked my neck and ears and his hand, wet from my juiced started rubbing lazy circles on my clit.

"I love how good you feel," he whispered in my ear.

"Your pussy is so wet for me." He pumped a little harder proving that his dirty talk was affecting him too.

"Harder baby, give it to me deeper..." I moaned and he lifted my leg higher. The new delicious angle had me going crazy as he hit that spot inside me.

"Oh, Bella, oh baby, I can feel how close you are." His hand quickened the pace. I was losing it.

"Yes, Edward, right there." His hand pinched my nipple hard, as he added pressure on my clit. He panted right next to my ear sending shivers up and down my spine. I could hear the slapping sounds from where we were joined.

I fell over the edge. I screamed his name. I saw stars behind my closed eyes. I kept coming and coming. Waves of pleasure erupted all over my body.

"Bella, baby, I'm going to come, deep inside you." His words triggered another orgasm. It was sensory overload. My body exploded.

When I came down from my high, he was holding me close.

I turned and smiled. His eyes had the colour of a bright emerald. His goofy grin and dishevelled hair, thorough proof of the moments we had just shared.

"Well, good morning to you too, Edward." I quickly kissed his lips as I got my naked ass of the bed and in the bathroom for. I might have winked at him on my way to the bathroom.

He shook his head playfully.

As I closed the door to the bathroom, I looked at myself on the mirror. Crazy hair, rosy cheeks, swollen lips, a light hint of a hickey on my neck and light scratches from where his stubble was rubbing against my skin.

Yup, I looked fucked, thoroughly fucked.

But, I kind of had the distinct feeling that Edward had marked me. My heart skipped a bit and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. That thought made me extremely happy.

I smiled as I attempted to untangle the knots in my hair. I was whistling the tune of Simon and Garfunkel, Mrs Robinson, when I heard the door of our suite knock.

Edward opened, and spoke with someone in French. A trolley was pushed inside the room.

I brushed my hair and teeth, washed and used the toilet. I decided to dress in a bathrobe in case hotel staff was still in the room.

All I found, was a delicious Edward, in a towel that hung low on his hips, his happy trail full of naughty promises.

"What are you thinking Bella?" his amused tone, interrupted my gutter thoughts.

I cleared my throat in an attempt to buy myself some time.

I looked up at him, and his face was mischievous and amused.

"Well, yes...uh...I was thinking that... er...I like you in a towel?" I trailed off and blushed profusely.

"Okaaaay..." he approached me slowly, with a predator look in his eyes.

"Were, by any chance, your thoughts, of an impure nature?" his Victorian use of language totally contradicted his playful mannerisms.

I instinctively took a step back. He then sped up and in a second I was in his arms and lifted high. His hands had locked around my waist. I squealed of happiness.

I was on top of the world.

**We 're going to go back in the past in a couple of chapters. I hope you have had a lovely time, surrounded by loved ones. **


	40. Chapter 40: The quiet before the storm

**Chapter 40: The quiet before the storm**

**Hello my lovely readers! I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and wishes for an even better New Year. I haven't been updating everyday but I have been on holiday and very busy… having fun!**

EPOV

I held her close. She had her eyes shut and I was mesmerized. Her hair flowed in loose waves down her back. Her eyes were shut, as if she was trying to concentrate on something.

But her brilliant smile was telling a whole other story.

"I love you," I whispered at the sight of her. If I weren't holding her high, I would have shut my overeager mouth with my hand and slapped me silly.

Her eyes snapped open and widened. She looked down at me. I was hoping for painless ways to die. I dared to gaze into her eyes.

She wiggled herself on her feet. She kept her arms around my neck. No screaming and no running. These must be good signs. Yes, right? Good signs.

Her gaze had stilled on me. Into my eyes. Looking into my soul. Looking for answers. She was gauging my reaction of surprise.

The quiet moment had not lasted for more than 30 seconds, but it felt like time was lingering.

Should I regret for being so forthcoming? Should I retract my words? No and no.

Bella doesn't know the endless time I've spent knowing everything about us in our past.

How I counted year after year of my pointless existence until her arrival. How I witnessed her birth.

How I kept going to her bedroom at night. How I talked to her. She thinks all these were dreams. Some of them were.

But, I was there when Jacob showed up in her life. I was there thoughout their flirtation. How I saw their downfall.

She doesn't know, how long I 've spent longing for her and loving her. How long I've kept in the shadows for the time to be right for us.

So, I did not just blurt these words out. I have been feeling them for way too long.

Bella, being the amazing person she is just touched my cheek waking me up from my reverie.

"You're just like me. Your mind is going a thousand miles an hour…" she trailed off as she stroked my cheek.

She took a deep breath and continued; "But why do I see worry in your eyes? Don't you know that I love you too?" she said softly.

"What?" I asked gobsmacked.

" Focus, baby," she said teasingly.

"I said I love you too." She loved me too. She said it twice. Twice. Relief flooded through me.

I knew then that all had to be revealed. Now.

**Hope you have an amazing New Year! Leave me some love!**


	41. Chapter 41: Interlude part 1

**Chapter 41: Interlude part 1**

***Lifts head from hiding place * Cricket sounds echo*. Yes, right, hello my lovely readers! To each and everyone of you, wishes for an amazing new year! I will start my daily updates from today, sorry about going AWOL! Oh and thanks for all the reviews, I will try to catch up! I love hearing from you!  
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**Let's go back to the story shall we? Let's try something different.**

**Narrator speaking.**

_~Flashback~_

_Once upon a time there were two parts of a star. _

_They shone and then exploded. _

_They lingered in the void and then she was captured by another star formation and he was captured by a comet travelling through the galaxy. _

_First, he changed the course of things to come by refusing of letting her go. _

_Then, in another time and place she sacrificed her life to save their precious bond, with the promise of happiness lingering on an afterlife._

_But what happened to their child?_

_Fragos, turned to be a renowned merchant in Venice. _

_He was enamoured with Natalie "La Francesa", famous courtesan of Venice. _

_After a brief affair, he was caught by his family, and Franco, paid good money to be rid of her._

_Natalie returned to Toulouse and bore Fragos's son. _

_She named him François after his father._

_ François "the bastard" left for the Americas with the money Natalie had received from Franco. She died from turbeculosis. Her last words were "Fragos, je te pardonne, mon amour..." (Fragos,my love, I forgive you...)._

_~0~  
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_But Fragos never forgave himself for his cowardice. He was forced to wed a famous Venetian's daughter. "La propria innocenza" also known as Valeria, daughter of the biggest spice importer, was mesmerised by Fragos' beauty. He was tall, with brown dishevelled hair and green eyes that pierced through her. She wanted him. As a prize, as a lover, as a husband. It was not until too late that she realised how mistaken she was._

_Fragos lived in regret. Natalie was all he could think of. Valeria, thought she could change his mind. Deluded Valeria, thought in her innocent childish mind, that she could change a man's heart. But a man's heart, after its set, is as hard as a diamond. _

_Franco, realised his mistake. He talked to his Marika's ashes. He asked for her advice. His power was gone, with her death. It was as if his source was her. He was blind. He prayed to Marika. He pleaded. _

_He had just wanted what was best for his son. Now they were two broken men living in a Palazzo. Dressed in the finest silks and brightest colours, with riches galore, yet nothing could mend these father and sons' hearts. _

_Fragos resigned to his fate. He married Valeria. Gondole from all over La Serenissima arrived for la festività. The weddings were being celebrated three days and three nights. _

_On the first night of celebrations, Franco, finally saw his bride in his dream. She was glorious, standing blindigly in front of their star. Her hair was flowing in waves down her back. She was wearing her Sunday dress he first saw her in. She was floating in space. She was walking decisively closer to him. He closed his eyes and prayed his dream would not finish. _

_The warmth emanating from her skin surrounded his middle aged figure. She smiled as she lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. _

"_Mio tesoro, I have missed you," he uttered. _

"_I know my love, we'll be together from now on, I've come to fetch you." she replied as she embraced him._

"_What is to happen of our boy, Marika?"_

"_He shall have to make do, my love. The wheels of destiny are turning."_

_He kept staring deep into her eyes. _

_The miracle of their bond exploded between them._

_ He felt his heart coming back to life._

_ He felt the steady beat of a heart meant to love and be loved. _

"_Never leave me again, mia Bella." he pleaded._

"_Never." She countered confidently._

_And as they kept holding each other, her light swallowed him whole. _

_The next morning, his servant found him dead. He stood above his bed, and thought to himself, how brilliant was his master's smile on his moment of death. _

_He concluded that death, might not be such a bad thing after all. _

_~0~  
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_That night, Fragos in his drunken stupor, found himself seeing Natalie, as his body reacted to Valeria's ministrations. She was loving the feeling of his strong body, and didn't pay attention to the name that was rolling off his lips. The name of his beloved Natalie._

_The next day, Valeria, had entered when her life would officially became hell. _

_He threw her of their matrimonial bed. She hit the floor hard. Her light brown hair was gripped hard and she dragged across the cold marble floors of the Palazzo. Once in the attic, she was thrown forcefully and the door behing her locked. _

_Only her maid, the one that followed her from her father's house dared to go in and bring her some food and drink..._

_Outside the feast for their nuptials, continued uninterrupted._

_Oh, the irony..._

**Thanks for all the love. Hope there are some people still around!**


	42. Chapter 42: Interlude part 2

**Chapter 42: Interlude part 2**

**Hello my lovely readers! Some of you are a wee bit confused with where I'm going with this. Please bear with me as there is method in my madness, contrary to popular belief! I want to thank you all very much for your comments, reviews, alerts, and so on! **

**Narrator Speaking.**

_~Flashback~_

_Fragos, never went to see his bride again. Not when his servant told him she was with child. Not when she was in labour and her screams echoed in the Palazzo. Not when the baby's wailing was heard. _

_He was disgusted with himself for succumbing to the temptress Valeria. For giving into another woman. For not stepping up to his father, the stubborn old man, for whom, the only woman worth mentioning was his dead mother._

_As for Valeria, she had grown to resent her life. She thought of her child. Her father did not give a damn about her suffering. Valeria prayed for death. Her wee girl, was sent to a noble family in Edinburgh . The wee girl, was named Martha. _

_And then she hang herself from the tower of the Palazzo. _

_Fragos was soon to follow. He drunk himself to death. _

_~0~_

_François, Natalie's son moved to Washington and begun a successful business as a carpenter. His descendant and family were well established in the state. _

_A great great great grand son named after his father Charlie Swan, celebrated the birth of his baby girl, Isabella, with cigars at Forks Hospital on the 13th of September of 1981._

_~0~_

_Martha lived as a daughter to the family of Cockburns, but her son, William, became nothing but a drunk getting chucked out of every pub of Grassmarket. He fathered a girl with one of the housemaids at his estate. He was then forced to sell all his family's fortune, to repay his creditors and sell his only child as a maid to one of his creditors. _

_That girl, Sarah, fell pregnant by her lord's son. Her son was born on the 21st of December of 1801, next to the Nor' Loch. She died right after giving birth to her baby. The baby's name was Edward, after he was taken under the witch's wing, Maggie._

**So there, all the dots are now connected. **


	43. Chapter 43: Revelations

**Chapter 43:Revelations**

**Hello my sweeties, thank you for all your reviews, alerts and favourites. I don't own, my mistakes are my own. So, without further ado, back to Casablanca. **

BPOV

His demeanour changed very suddenly. My heart hammered in my chest, as I knew that we have come to it. To the point of all the revelations. And I'm scared. I don't know what to expect.

And I'm also afraid, I won't be able to handle it. It. The big unknown. Like the void threatening to swallow me.

Spit me up in that black, dark room with no windows. I'm suffocating.

And then I'm in his arms. My body relaxes into his arms. My breaths return with ease.

"Come back to me, please Bella." he whispers and his voice is shaky. It seems like a century ago when we've declared our feelings for each other.

He then sits down on the sofa and pulls me on his lap. He surrounds his body with mine, literally not leaving an inch uncovered. He looks at me in the silence.

And the electric atmosphere is broken by both our tummies rumbling. I remember the breakfast on the trolley.

"Yes, let's go eat," he suggests, "no good can come on an empty stomach."

The tension dissipates. He makes me a full Scottish breakfast, there was even haggis on the plate and gives me the toast with spread only. My coffee, no sugar, plenty of milk.

I smile, because I see he knows much more that he lets on.

"So have long have you been stalking me?" I ask with a smug smile.

His honest reply sends a shiver down my spine: "How about, your entire life?"

We keep eating. I know him. He's so like me. And he's going to blurt something soon.

"I held you when you were born." he blurted out. See? Unable to maintain secrets.

"You did?" I asked shell shocked.

"I had a vision of your mum getting pregnant." he says in a breath. His resolve then strengthens and as he bites down on his own made bacon butty, with a very hungry look on his face. He chews slowly, appreciating the taste.

Once he swallows he looks at me.

"You were the most beautiful baby, I swear." he says and closes his eyes as if reminiscing.

"You lifted your tiny hand and touched my nose." he smiles. "I had gotten a job at the hospital you were born. At night I came into the ward and read you stories. I read you about Cinderella, Snow White, a book about stars."

"I was so happy that time." And that's when I decide he's too cute for words. I get up and go stand in front of him. I reach out and touch his nose.

Our tension has shifted to something lighter. I can go through this. And I know, I want to know. All of it. All of what has made us.

"Are you ready for more?" he asked tentatively as he kissed my knuckles.

"As I'll ever be." I replied and tried to swallow that daunting feeling.

**Let me know what you think?**


	44. Chapter 44: The point of no return

**Chapter 44: The point of no return**

**Hello my lovely readers! What do you mean I missed an update? No, no you must be wrong...(I'm fooling noone, I know!) On other news are you ready for this chapter? It's not really easy. **

EPOV

She lets out a sigh. Instinctively, I knew she wasn't ready. But we can be happy based on a lie, or happy based on the truth.

I believe this will not hinder us, but all my visions ever stopped here. I had two glimpses of us in old age.

I knew this was make or break for us. I let out a deep breath. I was 210 years old, I could pretty much materialise stuff out of thin air. But this moment has me fucking terrified. We have survived aeons of disappointment and heartbreak and sacrifice on both our parts, just to throw it all away.

I lowered my head and brought my hands to hold my chin.

"Bella, I had my first vision of you at a very early age. I tried to see the background, to make things right for our reunion..." She interrupted me and I looked up.

Her face was frowning, a crease had appeared between her eyebrows. The distance between us was killing me.

"What do you mean?" she asked softly but quite flatly.

"I mean that, our reunion had not been guaranteed..." I trailed of.

"I had to make sure we would find each other again... I mean you do understand how important our bond is, right?"

The question was rhetorical but her quiet yes put me momentarily at peace.

"So...when I had to make the wish for our reunion... I had made the place to be Edinburgh...I didn't know...it was too late when I found out..."

She was silent. I saw her face, her brown eyes, clearly showed the wheels in her head turning.

"You said you were there at my birth..." She fell quiet again. The pieces of the puzzle were slowly falling into place.

"How long where you in the States?" she asked and her forceful tone only strengthened my fear.

Added fuel to the notion, that, despite everything, we've been through, we're going to let _us_ go.

"All the time, until you left." my voice barely above a whisper.

All you could hear in that now quiet room, was her struggles for breath.

"So you know..." she lets on flatly.

"What?" I ask.

"Everything." She counters.

"You let me go through life without me knowing you were there loving me." Her voice was steadily rising.

"You let me get involved with that mutt of a man..."

"You witnessed my breakdown...you stayed away..."

"Oh my God, do you know what it had been like for me?" she never even inhaled before she continued: " I spent my entire fucking life feeling inadequate, feeling bereft, and you were watching me fucking suffer from afar, as your goddamn spell got the bloody location wrong?" Anger was rolling off of her in waves.

"Bella, I never knew things would turn out this way for you. Please, believe me when I say I would have stopped it even if it meant that our one chance of happiness got missed out..."

And now she was screaming, in my face. And I hated that it was me that caused her distress. And I just prayed with all my might, that we came out on the other side. Together.

"Do you know how long I had to live with the stigma? How long I had been mocked? Do you know what happened to me at the clinic?"

"I know Bella, I was there..." I opened my stupid mouth at the most inopportune moment.

"Of course you were, Edward! And what did you do? Fuck all!" by now she was pacing up & down, screaming and pulling her hair in frustration.

My eyes were stuck to the floor.

"Yes, Bella and I waited 170 of knowing about you and not having you there. I spend 170 years alone. A nomad, moving towns, names and professions. Unable to linger. I did this, for me to find you."

She was looking at me contemplating something. I'll never figure this woman out. I decided to keep going. This was my half chance.

"I couldn't live without you. I 've not been able to cope. I was on automation. And then, I was so happy when you were born. I thought I could be everything you need, I wish I could protect you from the first time you felt the sadness creep in. I waited, I was a coward. I know, but I was there, wishing I could make it all better. But I wanted a chance. A chance to be with you. I watched you in Edinburgh, waited till you felt strong again, I waited, bided my time, just longing for you. I never allowed another's womans' touch but yours. I never kissed anybody else's lips but your own. My miserable existence has only served the purpose of waiting for you. And I apologise that I wasn't there for you. But I tried. To soothe you, when you were not aware. I came and talked to you in your sleep. Even at the clinic. I'm sorry Bella, I just wanted this chance to be yours. Because I am yours, I have been and always will be. I will accept whatever decision you will reach, but do know that I love you whatever the outcome and I wanted to thank you, even for the little time you've let me be with you."

She then lifted my chin, with her small hands.

"I'm not leaving you," she said before she crushed her lips with mine.

**No cliffie, you should definitely leave a review?**


	45. Chapter 45: Acceptance

**Chapter 45: Acceptance**

**Hello my lovely readers. I love all your reviews and alerts, I feel we're becoming a nice wee group. Some people are still confused about this interlude, please can you help me with a banner and the family tree? Anybody willing to help, please pm me. **

BPOV

When your heart has never been yours, can you break it? Can you try and give it away? My heart has never been mine. It has always been his. I never had a say, and the funniest part of it all was that I didn't care. Not anymore.

So, to see the man owning my heart, the man that has made me feel more in two days, than I have felt my entire life, tore my insides apart.

He sat there, helpless, alone, just like I have been, exposed to the world and skinless. I heard him talking about my tormented times, through his lips, his words, his eyes.

My breath caught in my throat and the lump rose and fell with each attempt my chest made for a breath.

He was so close, and yet not close enough to reach out for me. Because the time wasn't ripe. Because I had to go through that joke of a relationship to discover what love is _not. _

Because he made a mistake. But he had the determination to wait. Not only wait, but wait in the shadows, for me.

How can you not desire, worship, adore, fill your particles with emotions and raise yourself to this life altering love's supremacy.

He finished his rant in that chair, in bloody Casablanca. His elbows were leaning on his knees, his body doubled over and his hands over his eyes.

And then I felt the power surge through me. It was compelling, compulsory, every fibre of my being was calling me to him.

I went and caught his hands, lifted his head and attempted to reassure him. We're not out of the woods but _we _are.

I let all my emotions into that kiss.

And all the memories, flooded in through our connection.

The star, the agony, and then our other moment in history, somewhere by the sea loving each other in languages I could not comprehend. Our second severance and a baby boy in my arms.

I was overwhelmed. The sobs were shaking my being. He tightened his hold on me.

"You paid for the both of us my love, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," his tear stained voice whispered in my ear. But there was nothing to apologise for, I'd do it again and again through time and space and lives. As many times as was needed. And now I realised how much burden I had kept inside.

And it was true, I was feeling it all, when something so special gets broken, or severed, where does it all go?

And it all went in my frail body. But it was far from frail. I sustained myself, I tried and I got up. And the strength surged through me, through Edward. And it was like electricity, the power that I felt went and healed my body.

In his hold, I saw us, again now laughing, with grey hair and lifting from our common hold a wee girl with the greenest eyes I've ever seen.

"Yes, Edward, I'm not leaving you." I whispered in his neck and I felt his skin go into goose flesh.

I had to show him everything. But I'd start with a kiss.

**Still intense stuff. Leave me some love. **


	46. Chapter 46:All is well with the world

**Chapter 46: All is well with the world**

**Hello my lovely readers, how are you this lovely Saturday? I love all your reviews and alerts and more and more people are joining our company (waves to everyone). On other news my attempt of a banner can be found on my profile.**

EPOV

The relief that flooded my body was so intense it felt as if my soul was fluttering. I felt like free falling. Her intense gaze was lost as she closed her eyes in my hold and kissed me.

Again, the feelings put into this kiss were transforming into heat inside me. And suddenly she's no longer shy. She's no longer broken. She's fierce, a force of nature to be reckoned with. Her presence is demanding and she needs to show me how much. How much she knows about loneliness, how much love she hides inside her for me. How much she was longing for me. She is on a mission to prove to me that even though we're not entirely clear about the past and future, there will be a future. I shared her vision, and I was so happy that my energy is now hers too.

Her hands are on my naked torso and the towel hanging from my hips is removed in the blink of an eye. She straddles me and she's naked and my erection is sliding inside her so fast that I'm rendered speechless. Only a loud moan escapes our lips when she has fully sheathed on my cock.

She is wet and she removes her top and her nipples graze against my chest. This is fast, passionate, covering a need for belonging that is deeply routed inside us both. I lift my hands and start rubbing her nipples hard between my fingers.

Her rhythm is frantic and I can barely keep my eyes open for all the pleasure that surges through me, but she keeps her hands on my face, stilling my view on hers. Her exquisite face, panting breaths, soft mewls, and then my vision is broken by another of her searing kisses when she clearly wants to consume and be consumed by me.

"Oh Bella, I'm so close." I mumbled on her lips. She pulls the hair at the back of my neck and brings my face to watch her.

"Look what you do to me." she says and then her walls grip me like a vice and she orgasms hard as she moves erratically up & down my cock. She chants my name and I follow close as I explode inside her. Waves and waves of pleasure surge through me as she clenches involuntarily.

When I come down from my high, I pepper her face with kisses, and remove sweaty hair stuck on her forehead.

This feeling of bliss is amazing. We hold each other. Our breaths are still laboured, but the smiles on our faces tell that we are fine with that.

She gets up, and I experimentally swat her naked ass and she squeals. She dresses up slowly and makes her every move as erotic as if she were losing her clothes.

I go get my shirt and put my boxers on.

"Edward?" she asks and I turn to look at the beautiful missing of my existence.

"Yes, love?" I counter.

"Do I still need the … medication?" I know what she means.

"Why don't we trying phasing them off, see how you feel,?" I answer as I know that quitting altogether might be harmful for her.

She nods in acceptance.

"Bella?" I now ask.

"Yes, love?" she smiles mischievously.

"Can I move in with you?" I ask simply as I know I don't want to spend another day in my place, I want to live in her cosy place, where everything screams Bella and her delectable scent lingers.

"Don't you think, that's a little fast?" she asks and I know very well that my girl is just goofing around.

"Well," I copy her playful tone, "no". I reply simply.

"Meh, might as well." she fakes indifference.

"Is tomorrow good for you?" I ask and then she snaps her head at me and her eyes widen.

"I guess, we need to go back then, make room for your stuff?"

"That sounds good." I say and we both smile.

And now I know that all we wanted is within our grasp.

**No playing around for these two, huh?**


	47. Chapter 47: The travels commence

**Chapter 47: The travels commence**

**Hello my lovely readers! How about a wee blast to the past? **

**My mistakes are my own, I love your reviews, alerts, and favorites. Actually, I am Stephenie Meyer, but right now I'm undercover...No? You don't believe me? **

EPOV

_~Flashback~_

_That night, at the Niddrie Street Vaults, I sacrificed a bit of myself to see what would come to pass. _

_I left my protection of Maggie's tent at Grassmarket and jumped on a carriage that was going to the Leith Docks. _

_In the morning, the Polis found her. _

_They arrested her for theft and she was one of the few women hanged in Grassmarket._

_ The knot on the noose was not done right._

_ The undertaker, a clumsy rookie, he had not tied the rope right, he had not added the oil to make it slippery and break the bone. _

_She writhed in agony the crowd surrounding her, getting increasingly uneasy, until they pleaded for the undertaker to just finish her agony already._

_I was looking down on the street and closed my eyes. Her long brown hair and big brown doe eyes sparkled in the flames of the torch. _

_Hold on darling Bella, I'm coming for you. _

_~0~_

_In the still of the night, the only sounds echoing were the horse's galloping on the frosty street and the wheels of the carriage turning. _

_I peered outside and we were near the Docks. I jumped from the carriage and followed the night watchman to Captain Wallace's ship. Captain Wallace had always been a moderately legal tradesman; He used his ship for loads of contraband goods that he was smuggling on his double ship skeleton.  
><em>

_The flag was American, so was going to be my family soon enough. I knew Esme couldn't conceive because she had a problem with her uterus. But I wanted them to have a big family. _

_I slept in the cellar of the ship and was discovered the very next morning. The captain took me in his quarters, refused to have me work, but was worried I wouldn't make good selling price because I refused to talk. He fed me well and even played me music in his wee banjo, a reminder of the Mississipi river boats and the men loading in the cargos of cotton._

__He never knew I was very articulate. I never let him discover how I read his books and my energy was helping _his ship against the elements. _  
><em>_

_If his Pa could see him now he would have been very proud. His Pa Wallace the last great Scotsman of his clan that got sent away to die in hunger on the Mississipi.  
><em>

_As soon as we reached the New York harbour I looked around for Esme. _

_And there she was._

__**The story of Maggie Dickson is real. Look it up on the internet. This relays to the chapter the Second Sacrifice. If you want me to just go to the present I can, but you have to review to let me know (sneaky one, aren't I?)**

**Join me on twitter Eirinib81 .**


	48. Chapter 48: A family for Edward

**Chapter 48: A family for Edward**

**Hello my awesome readers! I don't know about you but our little Edward (remember he's only 3) needs a momma and a daddy. Right? Right! To all the confused readers out there, it's Esme he saw in the port of New York, not Bella.**

**Also historically, ships from Europe would be quarantined in Ellis Island, but I have them in Manhattan. **

EPOV

_Flashback~_

_I needed to attract her attention. Esme's womb needed just a touch of mine to heal. Her husband Carlisle, a renowned rich man, but a heart of gold had been supportive everytime she would bleed shortly after every beginning of her pregnancies. _

_She would never reveal to him, that her abusive father caused this to her. She gripped her husband's embrace imperceptibly tighter._

_That's when I attempted to wiggle out of Captain Wallace's arms. She caught sight of me with the corner of her eye. I opened my hands towards her. _

_Captain Wallace, grabbed me tighter. My head was fully facing Mrs Cullen, my new momma. And I loved her, I really did. _

_I knew her dark secrets. I knew the abuse, the silent accomplice of her mother when she found the bruises and scratches. I was there to fill her life with love and happiness, show her how a loving family should be._

_I then screamed at the opportune moment, it was now or never._

"_Momma!" I screamed and lifted my hands towards her._

_Captain Wallace's eyes widened like saucers and his jaw dropped. _

"_You speak, ye wee devil, you!" he uttered amazed. _

"_Three bloody months, I had yi aboard, wee man, and yi never uttered one single word, and now ye're calling this strange woman, momma?" His voice was steadily rising in annoyance._

_She fully turned to look at me. Her smile was blinding, and I could see her looking over at the Captain then back at me, trying to see a family resemblance. _

"_Release that boy," she said with a voice laced with authority._

_The Captain, automatically obeyed, not quite realising what he'd done. As soon as I was on my feet I ran into her embrace. I dove my head in her lap and grabbed her hands tight. I felt her healing. Even if it never happened, that they took me with them, at least they had a chance of a family of their own._

"_Momma" I cried again and held her skirts tighter._

_She looked at me at first and placed a motherly hand on my head. _

_Carlisle was looking flabbergasted at the scene unfolding in front of him._

"_Is this your boy,?" she asked the Captain. _

"_Naw, he's no' mine, ma'am! I found him on the cellar of ma ship, after we had set sail, I couldnae exactly feed 'im to the sharks, am I right?" he said, and I knew he was already thinking money. _

_Money my two adoptive parents had. Negotiations took no more than four minutes, and a stern look of Esme towards her husband. _

_And that was the make or break point in their marriage: she had been handed to Carlisle, and for months, she would even flinch to his touch. He wanted her to love him. He loved her. He wanted her happy. He started reassuring her. He never hurt her, he was protective, and as soon as he put two and two together, her parents were banned from visits and all contact eventually. _

_She was so grateful for that, and it was then that she started trusting her husband. He wanted to show her the world. _

_And when she saw the tears of gratitude in his eyes, the first time she held his hand of her own volition, her iced over heart started melting. _

_And when he held her protectively on their matrimonial bed but never attempting anything without her consent, she started loving Carlisle. And when he saw her first real smile on the third year of their marriage, he started feeling happy. _

_It had been a slow process for the two of them but Carlisle knew his wive's sweet and caring disposition. _

_And paying Captain Wallace's prize seemed nothing in comparison to the sparkle in his wives' eyes. _

_They took me home that day, and that's how I became Edward Anthony Cullen._

_My childhood years were nothing short of happy. A mere nine months later my twin brother and sister came to the world. Alice and Emmet had dark hair like Esme's but Carlisle's blue eyes. And I was a happy big brother to them both. _

_We were strolling on Central Park, going to dinner parties, and playing at home. _

_My parents loved me with all their heart. And I loved Esme and Carlisle with all I had. _

_When I turned 26 I disappeared. I had to, I had stopped ageing and I had to move to be closer to Bella's birthplace._

_I hated to leave. It was the most heartbreaking thing. I had nieces and nephews from both my siblings and I had to leave. They were grief stricken for years. They were looking for me endlessly. _

_I knew they were coming back again, to support me and be my family when my oath came to the flesh._

_I visited the night both my parents died. I sneaked in their Fifth Avenue apartment. They looked at me on their deathbed. _

"_My son, is here to escort me to Heaven. My son, is a beautiful angel," she whispered and then turned to Carlisle and simply told him: "I love you. I cannot bear to leave you. My sweet Carlisle, you brought me to life. Thank you." she said to him and he smiled and reached for her hand. _

"_Goodbye mom, goodbye dad. I love you." I said amidst tears and I knew that their love was the only refuge I would have, in years of loneliness._

_She closed her eyes and my dad followed shortly thereafter. I saw their united spirit rising. _

_I left after that. Time to go to Washington, I thought._

**Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading.**


	49. Chapter 49: Years in darkness

**Chapter 49: Years in darkness**

**Hello my lovely readers! Pardon the message, but kroseph you've disabled PM s doll! On another note, thank you for all the reviews and the love, you bring a smile on my face! **

**My mistakes are my own and I don't own Twilight.**

EPOV

_~Flashback~_

_I was devastated. My life was waiting to happen. Stay in any place for a year or so, work jobs, cash in hand, trying to stay in the shadows. _

_Seasons changed, years passed without meaning. I had to persevere. I had to. For her, I had to try. My energy kept weakening. _

_I couldn't even glimpse my beloved again. I needed to conserve the energy, so that I knew of her arrival in this world. _

_I was losing my mind. I was trying to find something to make me see her. See the reason for all this darkness, the light of my existence. Friendships came and went. People aged, made families, perished. And I was there, braving the elements, like the unchanging rock of the mountains. _

_I was alone. Only the memories of my beloved parents and my sweet brother and sister helped pass the time. I dreamed of her. And then I would wake up, my glassy eyes, proof of my loneliness._

_But on the 15 th of December 1980, something magical happened. I had lived in the US for almost 180 years, and then I had another vision. The Chief of Police in the nearby town of Forks, was making love to his wife. My Bella was conceived. _

_I ran to the forest in the pouring rain, ecstatic to be surrounded by the energy. In that meadow, that precious place where I went to dwell on my loneliness, the thunder stroke me. _

_When I came to, I was powerful again. _

_I went to work at the hospital. I got a job as an orderly. I was there, when Rennee Swan had her first scan. She and Charlie were beaming with joy, I was so close to her, I could almost feel her growing in her mom's belly. _

_I was there when they were announced they were having a girl. And on the 13th of September1981 my beloved was born. That night, I went into the maternity ward and held her in my arms. I could not help my tears of joy. _

"_Hello my beautiful girl, it's me Edward," I whispered while holding her in my arms. She opened her wide eyes and looked at me. _

"_I'll always be here for you, you won't know it, but I will be here for you. I love you so much," and the tears were flowing incessantly._

_In that moment her inquisitive eyes, looked deep into mine. She wiggled her tiny hand free of her covers and circled my pinkie. She then held it tight. I knew that on some level she understood. And that was enough to keep me going for another 30 years..._

**Back to the present on the next one...**


	50. Chapter 50:Moving Monday

**Chapter 50: Moving Monday  
><strong>

**Hello my lovely readers, I completely fail in delivering daily updates! RL has been tiring...**

**On another note I love you all! Big move today and a bit of a hilarity.**

BPOV

I woke up with a big smile on my face. Edward was there, in my bed, with the sex hair of the century, a bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.

He tried to tighten his hold on me, but I was having none of it. I needed to let my boss know I was going to work from home, and bless all the gods out there for getting a flexible job.

"Noooo," he whined half asleep, "it's cold, don't leave. Bed good."

"I need to call my manager, Edward, I'll just be a minute. Don't you have to call work?" I asked, because he did seem awfully relaxed.

"I'm on holiday for the week." he admitted sleepily.

"So you knew...?" I trailed off. Of course he knew. I shook my head.

"You could have told me, I would have booked some time off." I told him annoyingly.

"That would have ruined the surprise, Bella. Besides, what could I have done? Email you and say please keep free your week, with endless devotion, your stalker, Edward? That would have you running for the hills, babe!" He fakely complained.

I laughed. I was thinking the stalker signature and snickering to myself.

"I can hear you, you know?" he said as I went into the living room to pick up my phone.

Rosalie picked up on the first ring. She sounded worried. Rosalie knew all about my history. She has been nothing but supportive, when I had a relapse my first year in Edinburgh.

We had bonded, when I said about my illness and she confided she couldn't have kids. We were both in tears hugging each other in the pub. It's like a fog has lifted from my eyes and I finally can see the kind of friend Rosalie has been for me.

"Bella, you all right,doll?" her thick Glaswegian accent could be heard on the end of line.

"Yes, Rose, I'm fine, I was wondering if it was all right to work from home today, I got stuff to do at home." I said in one single breath. Trust Rose, to call my shit exactly as it was served.

"You mean stuff or people to do, Bella?" I could hear her grin all the way from the Shore.

"People" I admitted shyly and blushed all over. In that moment, playful Edward made an appearance and sneaked his hands around my waist. I was revelling in the feeling of safety and love I felt.

"Nae chance in hell y're escaping this interrogation panel, doll! Brace yourself, is all I've got tae say!" she yelled laughingly on the phone.

"I understand. Now can I work from haem?" I immitated her accent very poorly.

"Aye, better yet, doll, take the day aff and _we_ can talk again the morra, at the office. I need to get ma hands on a good bright interrogation lamp, wait 'till I tell Alicia." she boomed on the phone.

"No, no, no not Alicia, Rose, that'll be the end. Everyone will know." I feigned annoyance but she saw right through me.

"Aye, right. Noo, get off ma phone, and see ya the morra!" Rose said.

"Ok, Rose, give Ethan my love. Bye." I hung up the phone.

"Who's Ethan?" Edward asked, but his hot breath was dangerously close to my neck. Will I ever sate this need I have for him? I asked myself and the answer was no, never.

"Ethan, is my manager' Rose's husband." I answered. He lifted the hem of my tank top and put his warm hand on my tummy. He hummed on my neck.

I lifted my arm to stroke his cheek. His hold tightened and he lifted me easily.

I squealed.

"Where are you taking me?" I screamed.

And in his best caveman voice he said again :"Bed. Good." And with that, he dragged me in the bedroom.

~0~

We got out of bed at lunchtime, by which time we had only managed to find a van hire to get his stuff out of his flat and arrange a pick up date for Friday.

We were both famished when we ended up at the Granary. Luckily a window table was still open.

"Are you happy here Bella?" he asked me and I was confused for a second.

"Are you asking me if I'm happy with you or if If I'm happy in Edinburgh?"

"Both I guess."

"I'm happy in Edinburgh with you, if that answers your question." I looked outside, feeling a bit trapped. My breath quickened. He touched my hand. Smoothing circles on the top of palm with his index finger. I relaxed. But I was not ready to make any decisions past the moving in. I had pushed or forced decisions in the past.

"Bella, sweetheart, look at me." he whispered.

I turned to look. And again, it baffled me. How can I compare this amazing man who took me to bloody Casablanca for our first date, with that cheating lying bastard?

"I'm not Jacob, I will never ever be Jacob. I will never hurt you like that." he said. His green eyes were emeralds of honesty.

"I know." I stroked his stubbly cheek. I smiled.

"I like your stubble." I said, effectively changing the subject.

"Yeah?" He smiled smugly. He squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Yeah," I replied simply.

Our food came then and that experience was strange. He fed me in my mouth. I moved the sweetcorn and he ate it, leaving me his tomatoes. It was us. So soon. But it was.

"Do you really have to go to work tomorrow?" he said with the cutest pout.

"Yes, Edward, I really do. Have you had a Glaswegian manager? And she'll wait with Alicia to get all the gossip."

"Oh, I hear they're tough cookies." We both laughed at that.

**Ok, we have a banner on my profile, I made myself. And now we'll have everybody join our wee couple. And I have a twist for you towards the end...He he he!  
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**I want to thank you for all your support!**

**Join me on Twitter eirinib81. **


	51. Chapter 51: Meet the interrogation panel

**Chapter 51: Meet the interrogation panel  
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**Hello my lovely readers, has your weekend been good so far? Mine has been all right!**

**I love your reviews, I don't own Twilight, my mistakes are my own!**

BPOV

I could hardly sleep Monday night. They were waiting for me like vultures waiting on their prey to die.

Edward, had done his utmost to get me tired and sleepy, but the reverse effects had been achieved. I was currently held hostage in bed with him snoring loudly on my ear whilst his whole body had covered mine. Legs tangled, hand held tight around my waist, other hand underneath my head and landed on my breast.

I loved how much he seemed to want to shelter me. I did long for the intimacy and the protection. But he's not going to be around Mrs Rosalie McCarty the morra! I finally succumbed to the exhaustion after I had images of nail removing and water drop tortures.

I woke up the next morning with a tingly sensation between my legs. I knew it was his stubble. That man was planning to kill me one lick at a time.

I played along and pretended to be asleep.

"You know you need to practice your poker face Ms Swan!" he spoke laughingly from between my legs. His hot breath was well received by my clit and my hips bucked.

I smiled, and let out the moan I was holding. Oh, life was good! Who cares about the questions that will definitely come up by the interrogation panel.

He lazily kept licking the length of my pussy, adding pressure on the clit. He added his magical fingers to the equation and slowly started pumping two inside of me. I was loving it.

"You're welcome to wake me up like this every morning." I said.

"I might just take you up on that offer." He hummed near my pussy. He kept relentlessly sucking my clit and pumping his fingers inside me.

"Oh, Edward, oh baby, harder, faster." He groaned.

He went faster and curled his fingers. He touched my G spot and it only made me moan louder.

"Come for me Bella" he said in a husky voice and then sucked my clit hard. I screamed his name and arched my back while his other hand tried to hold me down. The waves of pleasure erupted all over my body and I kept coming and coming.

When I came to, his face was near my own, a smug smile on him. His body hovered over mine and I could feel his erection bobbing up and down. I grabbed him hardly and brought him to my entrance. His eyes rolled on the back of his head and he slammed in me. He kissed me with fervour and my taste on his mouth was such a turn on.

The sensations were out of this world. I was sensitive and really wet and he was stretching me, my pussy adjusting to his girth.

His loving gaze locked with mine and his left hand took my leg and placed it over his shoulder. The new angle allowed deeper penetration and I was melting.

His eyes closed momentarily from the intense friction and when he reopened, his gaze was decisive.

"Play with yourself baby, I'm not going to last long. Your delicious pussy is tight around my cock and clenching." I clenched hard at him at that time but brought one hand to play with my hard nipples and the other to rub my swollen clit.

"Oh, yeah, just like that" he said again and my Edward talking dirty was just fantastic. I was feeling sexy and cherished under his gaze.

I was getting closer again and he took my hand from my pussy and sucked on my fingers. That did it for me.

I came again, it was so intense, my vision blackened for seconds. I could feel him, filling my pussy with his seed, and I wanted more. He then pinched my clit and I came shivering again. A silent scream came out of my mouth and his lips came to kiss me.

We had both worked up quite a sweat, but it was us, and at that moment, I needed a breather. Edward fell on his side.

I turned around and looked at him with a lazy smile.

"I know your devious plan, Edward, and let me tell you: it's not working." I got out of bed.

"What is my plan?" he asked feigning innocence.

"You want to get me late to work, so I can get fired, so you can hold me hostage in this bed."

"Hostage? That implies you're on the bed unwillingly. And your screams urging me to fuck you faster where more than voluntary."

"I don't recall any such screams, Mr Cullen." I gave him a wink, and with that line, I turned my stark naked ass and headed for the shower. I checked the time on the living room watch and I had still plenty of time to get to work.

"Bella, it's the amount of orgasms that have caused you temporary amnesia." he said sporting a boyish grin full of mischief.

"Can I join you in the shower?" he had drawn the shower curtain. He could switch from bad boy to dirty talking domineering man to Victorian scholar in the blink of an eye.

"Come on in." He held me under the spray. He washed my hair and washed every inch of my body. In comfortable silence, I reciprocated. We were smiling and touching and it was like we had been doing this for ages. We exchanged soft kisses.

After I got dressed and got my make up on, I went into the living room to find a hot man and a hot cup of coffee waiting for me. And to see him, just lying on the sofa, casually changing channels on the TV, I was at home. It made my heart lighter.

"So what are your plans for today?" I asked him as I took a sip of my coffee and a bit off my toast.

"I'm going to run some errands, just get in touch with the agent to put my place on the market, then grocery shopping, and then, I'm picking you up from work, if that's all right with you?"

"Of course, it's more than all right, I'll be done around five, if you want to pick me up we could go for a couple of drinks?"

"Let that time come, see how you feel, you might be tired, and I'll want to make love to you anyway." his smirk was still there.

"Ok, then Mr Lovah, lovah. I 'm going to head to work now and I'll speak to you later on."

"Ok love. See you later." he said as I was shutting the door behind me.

I put my earphone to my ears and the music started. As I was looking outside the window on the bus I saw a bird's nest on the branches of a bare tree, as the sun was giving the clouds orange flecks behind that.

Beauty is all around me, I thought.

Norah Jones came on and I picked up my phone.

**Missing you already. Love you, your star! ~B**

**I'm gutted: my plan of sexing you enough to quit your job didn't work. There's hope still, though, my beloved. Miss you too. You truly are my star! ~E**

When I got to the office, there was the eerie silence I was expecting.

I sat on my desk and pulled my laptop from its case. The Mac screen flickered in front of me as the systems were powering up.

I decided to fetch another coffee and braced myself as I could see Rosalie and Alicia exactly like vultures, hanging around the waterhole in the African savannah. I shook my head, and raised it attempting not to show any fear.

Alicia turned on that moment and her eyes widened.

"Oh my God, you were away shagging all weekend, weren't you?" she exclaimed loudly.

"Alicia, control yourself," I urged but to no avail.

"Ye're the one who needs the control, lass, listen to her, oh my, the cheek!" Rosalie, pain in my ass number 2, placed her hand on her forehead, pretending to be a damsel in distress.

They couldn't help their snickers.

Suddenly hyper Alicia, turned serious. She looked at me intensely as if trying to find some answers on my face, my eyes and my hair.

"You're in love." she said simply as her eyes widened taking me in.

"How the eff, can she be in love?" Rose asked impatiently. Alicia was always scary like that. Her premonitions and gut feelings were always right.

"She wasnae in luuuurve Friday,2 she said teasingly, "you cannae fall in love in a weekend. Can you?" she turned to look at me.

"Are you asking me, or are you telling me, Rose?" I asked.

"I guess I'm asking." she said and her face looked frowning in concentration.

"In special cases you may," I replied simply and it was nothing less but the truth.

Rose regained composure quite fastly.

"Oh lass, just wait 'till lunchtime, the three of us are going oot so we can get all the dirty deets..."

"Ok, Biatch, bring it on" I muttered. I made my coffee and went to my desk.

The rest of the morning passed quickly, in between catching up, arranging the meeting to make the new suggestions for the design. I stole a couple of minutes to text Edward.

**My day is going ...well not good without but coping. How's you? ~B**

Not two seconds later my phone rang.I saw Edward on the caller ID and smiled.

"Hey baby, how are you?" I answered immediately.

"Not too bad, love, how's your day going?"

"It's going all right, Rose, my manager she's got a good system going on here. So they're not bothering with us with stuff that's not important."

"It's always good to have a nice working environment and nice colleagues." he replied.

"Yes, it is. All right, I gotta go, baby, call you later?"

"What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"Around five should be all right."

"I'll be there, I'm taking you out for dinner, if you're up for it?"

"That sounds lovely, Edward."

"Ok, love, speak to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

At lunchtime we went to Frankie & Bennie's. As soon as we had ordered the interrogation panel started innocently enough.

"What's his name?" Rose asked. She could not hide her gleam even if she wanted to.

"Edward."

Alicia took over.

"How old is he?"

"26."

"Oooooh, it looks like Ms Swan, got herself a wee toyboy then?" the first of many snide remarks I thought.

"Shut up Rose."I answered trying hard to maintain my poker face. I was failing. Utterly.

"Where did you's meet?" Alicia kept staring into my eyes, and she kept giving me these confused glances.

"Alicia, to say it in pure Edinburghese - Spit it oot,doll, you're killing me! We met on the street. " I hissed at the panel.

Rose was rubbing her hands together with evil satisfaction at the incoming gossip.

"It just feels such a soul shaking change, ken? You look, so different, so complete. Aye, that _is _the right word, complete." she said, her eyes glazed, her gaze focussed elsewhere.

I shivered because she was again so spot on. Oh, nobody should ever bet against this tiny woman!

"I do feel different, I feel stronger, and I will drop you a bomb before I effectively end this conversation, seeing as you both have bored me beyond belief."

"We are now living together."

Two jaws dropped simultaneously on the table, and four saucer wide eyes, were ready to go on orbit.

It seems like it's time I had a bit of fun, right?

**Hope you enjoyed the longer chapter? I love you's all!**


	52. Chapter 52: A relationship

**Chapter 52: A Relationship  
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**Hello my lovely readers! Thank you for all the reviews and alerts, I know I've not been updating, I had my friend around in the weekend. So … yeah.**

EPOV

"I'm telling you, Edward, you should have seen their faces." she said, trying to catch her breath between laughs.

"Their jaws scraped the lunch table, and their eyes were wide like saucers, it was soooo funny!"

Bella bounced on the sofa, in her fleece jammies. She was so animated, describing her lunchtime shenanigans.

"And then Rosalie, went on a rant, about how this was the fastest moving in of any couple. EVA. Even she, waited a month 'till she moved in with Ethan. And above all you should hear Rose's attempt of a London accent, she can't help herself, and it literally sounds like someone speaking constipated words."

I laughed hard with her description.

I was so happy my girl was doing all right. We were snuggling in the sofa, watching Brit soap operas, after we came back from dinner.

"So they said, that we need to organise a night out, for them to meet you. And Alicia, oh my God, it's just so scary how perceptive she is. Did you know, she saw me, literally just looked at me and diagnosed I'm in love."

"And are you?" I asked.

"You know I am," she responded shyly.

I smiled with her willing admittance. Not a dull moment with my Bella.

"I wanted to ask you something, babe." I asked.

Her expression turned serious. "Yes?"

"What are your plans for Christmas?" I had my ticket to the US purchased anyway but it was good to ask.

"Um, I had bought a ticket to visit my parents in Forks. It's because the company shuts in between Christmas and New Year so I added another week, and I thought I' d have a bit of a holiday. It's been four years." she said sounding a bit nervous.

"Oh," I replied as if I didn't know.

"Do you have any plans?" she asked, and in her eyes, I saw the anticipation in the reply.

"You know, if you invited me, I might come with you."

"Would you like to join me in my trip? Although, the air tickets might be a bit expensive, so close to the time."

"I've got my tickets booked." I whispered.

"Uh huh," she said dismissively. She got up from the sofa, and I followed her around like a lost puppy.

She turned to look at me, her lips struggling not to plaster that smile on her face.

"You know you should have called me and asked me to book the damn things in advance," she feigned annoyance.

I got tired of the pretences, I threw her over my shoulder as she squealed.

"Well, that would have spoiled the surprise now, wouldn't it?" I tossed her on the bed and her little body bounced on the mattress.

I hovered over her.

"Say that you love how I well prepared I am."

She shook her head, and zipped her lips with her hand.

"Say it. Out loud." I warned again but she was having none of that.

I had found the ticklish spots already and I was going to fully take advantage. I started tickling her and she tried fruitlessly to push me off of her.

"Say it." I repeated.

She was laughing and squealing, and desperately trying to shove me away.

"OK, what is it I'm supposed to say again?" she asked in between panting breaths and tears.

"That you love how well prepared I am." I still had her pinned down.

The mischief in her eyes and her rising and falling chest caught my attention. The atmosphere changed instantly.

"Fuck me Edward." Her voice was commanding. I was going to fuck her and she would have me on my knees.

"Please baby," she whispered. We were off our clothes in a flash. My mouth latched on her nipple and I sucked like there was no tomorrow.

My hand trailed to see if she was wet for me. Her folds parted easily and my finger felt inside. Her clit engorged as my finger went over and her breath hitched.

When I entered my finger inside of her, I found her ready for me. I loved that she was so responsive.

She grabbed my head and kissed me hard.

"You are so worth it." I whispered in her ear. She shivered.

"Why?" she whispered back. The moment was sacred. The moment where all the realisations came flooding in. We were. Together as one. Loneliness has ceased. Broken hearts are mended. Sins have been washed away. This, this union was the most important thing. For us.

"All the years I have spent in the shadows, you are worth all the loneliness I had to go through. You washed everything away just by smiling. You, you, precious you, beautiful you. I love you Bella."

When my eyes opened, her tears were flowing freely. I wiped her tears with my hand and kissing where my hand had been.

"Oh, Edward, I love you too." Her eyes opened and she was smiling lovingly. Her eyes conveyed so much emotion and her watery gaze, really did me in.

I entered her slowly. Her walls were tight around me.

Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she let out a sigh of content.

Her body arched and her neck was revealed. I took my tongue out and licked lazily.

"Fuck baby," she whispered.

"I want this to last," I whispered on her luscious lips.

She clenched and a breathless yes escaped her. I kissed her.

We got lost. Time was lost, in our slow pace. Lost in love and lost in lust. I took her ankles and brought her legs around my waist.

My hand went in between us. I found her clit, warm and slick. I rubbed slowly.

"Edward," she whimpered my name.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. Her hair splayed on the pillow. Her cheeks, rosy. Her breath coming out in short pants. She was lost in sensation. I was lost in the vision of her.

"Look at me, love." I begged.

Her eyes opened slowly. And in those eyes, my whole existence found meaning. In those eyes, the world was a place I wanted to live in. In those eyes I could find all those feelings, everything I kept in store for her. My beautiful Bella.

My hand left where we were joined and entwined both our fingers above her head.

She smiled. My gaze was locked in hers.

She tightened her hold in my hands. I could feel her getting closer.

"You're so beautiful." I whispered. More tears escaped her eyes. I tried to capture them with my lips.

"It's never been like this for me before," She confessed. And in these moments of our lovemaking, I knew that it was our unity, that brought us to these heights. It was the fight to keep this bond alive that makes these moments so much sweeter. And no-one else could it for Bella than me. And no-one else could it for me but Bella.

And then she clenched and clenched again, matching my thrusts and angling her hips so that her clit could rub against me on every thrust. She thrashed her body and I felt her gripping me on a vice.

My girl coming undone was the most beautiful sight in the world. It pushed me over the edge, as I came hard inside her.

We fell asleep in each other's arms, me still inside of her.

**Yes I know, not a lot of action, BUT... we are coming slowly to a close. First we'll have the trip. **


	53. Chapter 53: A night oot in the toon

**Despair 53: A night oot in the toon(Or a night out in the town)  
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**Hello my lovely readers! I want to thank you for your reviews, each & everyone of you make me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy. Bloody FFN won't let me log in, I will catch up with you my lovelies! Are you all well?**

**We're going to wind down with the story now. BUT before we do, Edward needs to meet his siblings from lives' past, in the form of Alicia & Ethan.**

EPOV

"Are you sure I look OK? Maybe a vest is too much?" I stare in the mirror for answers, and Bella, the little teaser she is, does _nothing _and I mean _nothing _ to ease my stress.

"A vest is good, don't you remember Chandler from Friends, how good he used to look in vests?" she says mockingly, and I'm thinking, how long I can go without sex, maybe punish her. Oh, who am I trying to fucking fool, the answer is, I will have done well, if I don't molest her in the toilets of wherever we're going. Which prompts the next question.

"Remind me again, where are we going?" I asked, she had taken over the bathroom putting on her make up. I swear, Bella getting ready is always such an erotic ritual. She comes out of the shower, skin all hot and steaming, and then she adds her fruity smelling moisturisers all over her body. She then dries her hair, she does her make up and dresses.

And the best thing about Bella, is she always lets me watch the miracle that is her. It's just two weeks before we travel. She let her parents know, it's both of us going. I have the ring. But I want it to be in the very moment of our two month anniversary. If we have a wee cosmic helping hand, it will be in front of witnesses both good and in dire need of payback. If you catch my drift. Yes, I just mentally winked at me. I'm sad like that.

We have been together for almost two months now. Two months, where we have been blissed out. I have never been happier. We 're going out on dates, and then we make love and fuck and look at each other and talk. We read in comfortable silence. We like quiet Saturday mornings. We like Sunday shopping. It's us. It feels as if we were moulding our compatibility all these years we spent apart.

Bella touched my shoulders at that moment, mostly because I was digressing, having asked her a question and all.

"What are you thinking again, love?" she smiled wholeheartedly, and I turned to look at her. It took me a good two minutes to drink her in. A wrap dress, in dark blue. It stopped just above her knee. Nice black heels. Her hair in long shiny waves. Her lips were scarlet. Her eyes, the most intricate dark, makes her brown eyes look huge.

"I was thinking how time flies with you. How wonderful it's been. How happy you make me." I said honestly. She looked at me and then I saw the emotion in her deep eyes.

"Did I forget to mention how heartbreakingly beautiful you look tonight?" She lowered her eyes and whispered thank you. I could see the blush forming in her cheeks.

I kissed her nose, and asked her again, whispering in her ear. "So, where are we going sweetheart?"

"We're going to this bar called Sygn, it's in the West End."

"I've heard it's a nice place." I snaked a hand around her waist.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, we should be on our way, otherwise Rosalie, will hunt us down." she snickered and I couldn't help but snort.

"I'll call a taxi. I don't want you walking in your heels."

"Oh, don't bother, they're quite comfy. Honest."

"I don't want other men to look at you, if you _have _to know the truth."

She frowned and wondered outloud. "Huh, when did you become Possessiveward?"

"When my girlfriend dressed up in this super sexy, ogle-worthy outfit." I acknowledged with a pointing finger to her figure.

That earned me another smile.

"Flattery will get you everywhere Mr Cullen." she said suggestively. My plan to seduce her though had failed. Och, well. Let's go out then, shall we?

~0~

We arrived at Sygn, on our taxi. I saw inside and what I saw made me smile. My brother and sister were on that table. They didn't look like Esme's children, but these were their souls, I could just tell.

I bent down to tell her. She looked up at me, eyes full of wonder.

"Really? Oh baby, that's so good. I really felt a connection with Alicia, even though truth be told, Rosalie knows more about me. She's been so supportive. Did you know she spent three days at the hospital with me? It's because the medication I got here in the UK were not compatible with me. I had a relapse. She's so maternal, and poor thing she can't get pregnant. Problems with her ovaries. Untreated the bullshit doctors said. But Ethan, her husband, he's been so supportive. He's such a cheery guy. "

"We'll see about that," I whispered in her ear.

"Can you heal her? Really?" My girl asked in astonishment.

"I healed my mother, Esme. I am pretty sure I can help the situation." I said determined.

By then we had been noticed sitting outside chatting and were being waived in.

"Oooh hiya," Rosalie cheered with her Martini glass. Ethan was looking at me, so was Alicia, with looks of weird recognition. I was just so happy to see my brother and sister again, the only family I've ever known.

I smiled widely just as Bella was introducing me to everyone.

"Guys, this is Edward, my boyfriend. Edward, this is Rosalie, her husband Ethan, Alicia and her husband Jasper." I shook everyone's hands eagerly. I felt the energy flow into Rosalie's body healing her.

I turned my head around and nodded at Bella. She nodded in understanding.

"You look familiar, now, where did you say you were raised?" Alicia asked me narrowing her eyes.

"I was born in Edinburgh, but then raised in the States, with my adoptive family." I said honestly. What I may have neglected to mention was that, this happened some 207 years ago.

"Aye, Bella, has told us. She also told us how you met. Ya horndogs you!" Rosalie intervened, clearly tipsy at this stage and she winked knowingly.

"Bella, what have you told this Weegie lass?" I said smiling, because I can pull the Scottish accent quite easily.

"They interrogated me," Bella replied obviously pretending to be distressed, "oh baby, it was horrible, there was bruschetta, and other starters, and cocktails. You know how I react to alcohol, they had me where they wanted me."

I grabbed her hand, unbeknownst to the rest of the party. I placed it on my hardening cock.

She looked at me like she was planning to devour me.

I bent to her ear, and licked her earlobe briefly before I whispered: "I don't have you where I want you." Her breath quickened momentarily and she shook her head trying to concentrate.

"Oh, I will _so _get back to you for this one."

"Oi, stop it yous two! Aye, hun, you were right, these need to get a room, the noo!" Ethan's voice boomed.

We drank cocktails and lost ourselves in friendly banter. Bella told me how she realised these were people that really care for her. She suddenly felt blessed, to have moved here, and have these wonderful people be her friends.

The mood turned from cheerful to emotional. Alicia, Bella and Rosalie, were talking passionately to each other and there were hand squeezes and a few tears. I was a bit surprised to be honest so I asked the rest of the guys what's going on.

"They're always like that, pal, pay them no mind. They start on the drink and by the time it's midnight, they're loving and feel grateful for everyone. Which usually makes me a very lucky man at the end of the night, but I see that's not happening' the night. It's girl power tonight." He sighed, but still kept his lazy smile on.

I got closely to ask the girls if they wanted another cocktail pitcher.

"It's just like fog has dissipated from my vision," Bella said animatedly and took a deep breath and continued, "you guys have been better friends to me than ...than anybody, really! Never has someone embraced me with such kindness, such support." she said. Her eyes were glassy and the two girls were obviously touched by this declaration.

"I have known Rose, well, since Uni, but I know a special person when I see one," Alicia said.

I felt like I was intruding a private conversation, so I just asked the waitress to get us some more snacks and a pitcher of cocktails. I went back to the lads.

"You look awfully familiar, Edward, do I know you from somewhere?" Ethan asked. I was actually surprised at any amount of recognition, but I had seen the initial look, you know, the one that's trying to place you.

"I've been to Glasgow, like for shopping, and to the museums and some gigs. Maybe I've seen you somewhere there?" I trailed off. I didn't want to divulge too much information.

"Aye, maybe." he said.

"Has Bella told you about the fertility problems we're having?" I was quite surprised at how open he was about their issues.

"Aye, she might have mentioned something in passing."

He turned to look at his wife with a sad smile and turned back on me.

"It's been so hard on her, ken? Like she is inadequate or something, and then the red tape for adoption has been going on for so long. It's getting so difficult to keep positive. And I ken ma wife, pal. I know I'm only hearing a fraction of what she's actually feeling. I dinnea ken what to do. She's a mother. No other woman deserves a family more than her. It kills me, I cannae give that to her."

"Ethan, you have to persevere, not for you, but for her. It's the same wi' ma Bella. She had a relapse, last week and she hates not being independent, needing help. But I'm only hearing a fraction of what's going on, and that's not helping the situation. I was freaking out last week, I'm telling you."

"I can't imagine what it must be like."

"Ditto." I said smiling. Then Bella came smiling and said that the girl's want to go dancing. We went at a club around the corner.

**I'm going to end it here now, because these days the chapters are turning humongous!Leave me some love!**


	54. Chapter 54: A night oot in the toon two

**Despair 54: A night oot in the toon part 2**

**Hello my lovely readers! Sometimes I wish that FFN has got wee skulls and lightning bolts to express my frustration on being unable to post this chappie to you yesterday!**

**On a more positive note, let me thank you for your awesome reviews and alerts! I love hearing from you!**

**On with the good stuff...**

BPOV

We went in this club.

The ceiling was low. The music was pounding as a heartbeat in my chest. Everyone was under 25. I was fucking drunk, horny and in love. In that exact order.

I just wanted to be devoured by Edward.

I've been watching him, watching me attentively all night long. Pouring me my drinks, listening to me in conversation, holding my hand, placing said hand on his hard on.

And tonight, was the night for some rough fucking. My inner drunk seconds this motion. I snickered.

"OK, I really need to know what you're thinking," Edward whispered in my ear as he handed me my drink.

"I'm thinking very dirty things, Mr Cullen,"I said. I licked his earlobe.

He looked at me. Seriously. Could my boyfriend be any fucking hotter? I licked my lips.

"You have been teasing me all night long. You shall be punished."

He declared, attempting to be quite ominous but making me effectively cream my panties.

"Are you wet for me?" He asked.

"Yes." I said breathlessly.

"Show me." he demanded. Oh my.

"How?" I asked. We were surrounded by people imitating sex with clothes on. The music was pumping. Nothing was helping my fucking predicament. Yes, pun very much intended, thank you.

"Find out a way." He challenges.

"I'll be right back. Hold my drink, please?" He picked it up and I left his side.

I went in the toilet, where the girls, were yelling at each other.

I went inside the cubicle and shut the door behind me.

My breath caught when I removed my panties.

They were soaking.

For good measure I dipped a finger in my pussy.

A soft moan involuntarily left me as I pictured Edward's fingers doing the same things.

Oh my, Edward was transforming into an insatiable hussy. Och, well!

I left the toilet and walked up to him. My panties were lifted to his face and I became playful.

"May I present to you exhibit A, ruined panties."

His eyes widened but he kept his composure.

Alicia and Rosalie were giving it their all at the dancefloor.

The guys were watching the girls dancing with dreamy faces. It appears that love is in the air tonight.

He brought the bundle of fabric close to his nose. Then he inhaled. I felt arousal trickling down my thigh.

"Fuck, Bella, how much can a man endure? Exhibit A is not being worn and that means that you're …. bare?"

I nodded.

"Oh fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Wait it 'till I present you with exhibit B."

"There is an exhibit B?"

"Of course there is." I went close to him and placed my index finger covered on my juices on his lips. His nostrils flared, as realisation dawned on him and what I was presenting him with.

He opened his mouth and sucked greedily on my finger.

"Drink up, we're leaving." he said eager to leave.

"But I want to dance with the girls." I whined.

"There is nae chance in hell, you're dancing with the girls, love. You have made your bed tonight, and you have no fucking idea how badly you need to lie in it."

Och well!

Goodbyes were short.

Ethan slured something about outside being so cold I would freeze my fanny off.

I told him that this fanny was on fire.

He pretended to be shocked but it was Edward who shushed me and dragged me out and into a taxi.

Yup, no filter with the alcohol.

Possessiveward was HAWT!

My panties remained in Edward's nose for the duration of the taxi ride. The rest of the ride was silent.

The minute the door was shut behind us the beast was unleashed.

I was pressed against the door.

"All night long you've been teasing me." His hot breath sent tingles in all the right places.

He grabbed the fabric of my dress lifting it.

"How can I punish you?" I knew his question was rhetorical but my breath quickened.

He tore my dress apart. I could see his muscles rippling underneath his shirt. I could hear the fabric being torn to pieces.

A wave of arousal took over. He cupped my pussy and he swore quietly.

"So fucking wet, oh baby, what am I going to do with you?"

"Fuck me, please." I whimpered.

"Turn around," he commanded.

He kept his hand on my pussy. I was dying of anticipation. I was naked in front of him, as he made quick of ridding me of my bra as soon as I turned.

He played with my clit for a moment, as he licked my neck.

"I know just the thing, to punish my cockteasing girlfriend."

His hand left my pussy.

I knew I was dripping wet. Nobody else had played with my body quite so expertly. Edward had yet to shed any clothes.

As soon as his hand landed on my ass, mixed feelings of shame and arousal came to the surface.

He didn't strike so hard, it just left a tingly sensation. He rubbed with his hand.

He repeated this a couple of times.

"Do you like that, Bella?" his voice is filled with trepidation.

He cups my breast and brings his other hand to my clit. I moaned loudly against the door at the different sensations.

"Answer me love. Let me give you pleasure."

"No, "I said simply. "Let me."

And with that I span around and dropped to my knees.

I unzipped his trousers, removed his shirt and lowered his boxers in a fluid move.

I took him in my mouth as deep as I could go.

"Fuck!" he hissed. I motioned his hand to my hair. He grabbed a handful and placed his weight against the door.

I licked the underside of his cock.

I licked the tip of him in circular motions and licked his slit.

He growled.

I took him in again and tried to relax my throat.

His hips were bucking.

My arousal was dripping.

I reached and started massaging his balls.

I experimented on tugging them lightly and was rewarded with a prolonged yeeesss.

He started moving faster and faster.

His eyes remained on mine, throughout.

When his brows furrowed in concentration, I knew he was close.

I went faster, I hollowed my cheeks and took him inside my mouth so far down, that when he came in profanities, he came deep down my throat.

I looked up at him with a smug smile.

He smiled down at me as he was trying to catch his breath. He leaned against the door and slid down. He brought his face forth and kissed me.

He prompted me to stand.

He positioned my ankles spread so that he was underneath inbetween.

And then his tongue was on me.

He kept my ankles steady as I was moving frantically back and forth as he kept his tongue flat and steady.

When he added his fingers in me, I was gone.

I screamed his name and the word fuck countless times.

My orgasm seemed to last forever.

Every ending on my body had become a live wire.

I collapsed a panting mess, my back to his chest.

He nuzzled on my neck and inhaled deeply.

"Shall we go to sleep now, Miss Swan?" he asked lazily.

"Aye." I replied.

He lifted me bridal style and took me to bed.

I was a tired, exhausted mess.

He brought me a cleansing wipe and I kissed him in thanks.

He laid on the bed and dragged me against his chest.

I happily nuzzled against him.

We smelled like sex.

I snickered before I drifted off.

Yup, we are most definitely going clubbing again.

**Leave me some love! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the wee kink sprinkle!  
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	55. Chapter 55: Relapse

**Despair 55: Relapse**

**Hello my babies! Are you's all well? Have I thanked you for your love and support? I'm sure I have but once is never enough! Thank you again for the fantastic reviews and alerts.**

**This is a dark one.**

EPOV

We were so happy. So happy. Life with Bella, was something I could not grasp. I could not grasp the fulfilment. The longing, the desire, and then the calm, the comfort and the knowing. I am here.

Here for you. It's us. And we are love. The warm feeling radiating from my heart, and the utter hollow feeling that overtook every time we were apart were true testament to that.

She had reduced her medication. Some days were easier than others. There were some days that my Bella got hidden underneath, layers upon layers of feelings. She was suffocating in her internal tomb.

Those days, I stayed in bed with her. I caressed her face and body. I held her in the vain hope that the energy would rectify things. It did temporarily. It helped. She would look at me with these big doe eyes of her. She would talk of unworthiness. She would talk of gratitude.

But mostly she would stare out of the window, fighting her own internal battle, as I stood there, helpless in that place that I now called home, watching my love and my entire life, fighting her own demons silently. I was unable to do anything.

It really was a blessing that Alicia and Rosalie would never let her collapse. The flexibility of working from home was a blessing in those days. In those days, I would wash her body. I would talk to her of love and plans to visit sunny places, to listen to bands in fields in the rain.

And sometimes, something really frightening would happen. My Bella would look at me and there would this glint in her eyes, this weird craving of something that I dared not place. I was scared she would let it win. I was scared she would give up on her and me and surrender. Surrender her soul. I would hold her close and tried to keep her solar plexus close with me. To keep her here. To keep her grounded with me.

But mostly our wee flat was full of laughter, wanton moans, whispers of love and everyday conversations. We would do chores, or not bother and we would chase each other around with smelly socks. We 'd walk around naked. We'd listen to music and share memories of our lives before we were together and complete.

Except for that night. That dreadful night.

I was scared out of my mind.

That night, she came into our bedroom. I had never even realised she had woken up. She had brought the kitchen knife, and the blade was shining, under the street lamp. An eerie yellow reflection caught my sleeping eyes and as I drifted into consciousness, I caught her talking to herself.

"Death is my reward, the ultimate prize. I know I need to bleed my offering." Her voice was detached. Her voice was cold and colourless. I felt my heart constrict, my breath was held. I whispered her name. " Bella." She turned to look at me.

Her eyes were looking at me, but there was a hole where there used to be recognition, and that special smile that touched her eyes, was replaced by cold emptiness. The glint was there. That terrifying sinking feeling took hold of me and suddenly I was out of breath.

She had described to me her episodes, and how she always felt scared and how she was struggling to remain in control. I was feeling the trepidation sneak in again, but I knew I had to stay strong.

Our games with the fates, had broken my fragile girl. The burden of the repercussions of my decision had bestowed a big weight on my beloved.

A miracle was needed to nudge my Bella out of her dreamlike state.

And to begin that I needed a distraction.

I focussed my eyes on where I wanted the illusion. We were going to have literally fireworks in our bedroom.

The bright colour flashes and the perfect orb shapes of my magic fireworks caught her eyes. She stood up, the knife fell from her lap, and I caught it with my thought just in the knick of time before it stabbed her foot. She watched the changing colours and shapes mesmerised.

I now knew I had to become love. Healing love. Bright love to encompass her and bring her back to me. I started walking towards her. Small steps lest she jerked away from me.

I tried to remember one of the most vivid happy memories we had. I remembered when we went to see Smashing Pumpkins in Glasgow, how we got lost in the ecstasy of electric guitars and lights. How we were screaming the lyrics in each other's ears and holding on for dear life in what I could almost describe a spiritual experience.

Then towards the end of the gig, I stopped looking the band at the stage and I was just looking at Bella. Her hair was swaying in sync with her head. I have never loved someone so much.

She caught me looking and the smile in her lips told me she felt the same. And in that unspoken moment we were whole, complete.

When I embraced, I made sure that all these feelings were transferred. All my gratitude and conviction for our love was put into the energy and into my Bella's existence.

Our room lit up, we had been a star after all. Her body started shaking with her sobs and her knees gave up. I lifted her and placed her on our bed.

I covered her body with mine, I didn't leave an inch uncovered.

"I got lost." she whispered.

"I was confused, and lost and it was dark." she kept shivering as if releasing the burden, shedding the layers.

"It's ok, baby. You came back to me. You came back."

"And then I felt it. It was so warm, and it was as if I was being dragged from a narrow, suffocating place. It pushed me away from the void. It was you."

My heart was beating fast in my chest. I had never been more scared. Scared of losing her.

That's when I broke down. My body was protecting hers. I was protecting her. From herself. The realisation hit me hard.

"I'm so sorry Edward, so sorry baby. I felt your love, I'm here, I'm not leaving you." Her voice was thick with her tears, and her small hands came to cradle my face, caress my neck and shoulders, down my arms.

I held her close to me. I opened my eyes. She was there. I exhaled deeply and brought my hands to capture her face. Her eyes were back to their loving gaze. Her eyes were puffy.

I captured her lips. I needed the reassurance. I craved her. I wanted to bring life into this room.

She responded just as eagerly.

We couldn't talk our reassurances. We touched, kissed, caressed. She cried and I cried. Hands roamed. I'm still here, you're still here.

Sloppy kisses and salty tears. Shallow breaths and whispers of love.

I love you. Please, please, please stay with me. Don't let it win. These are the thoughts I was pouring into my touches. Into my kisses.

Our tears fell incessantly. In our small bedroom, we comforted each other. We are alive. We are here. Life is us. Yes. Life is us.

Exhaustion took over after the adrenaline retreated.

We fell asleep, my arms and legs tight around my Bella.

Just before I drifted I heard Bella talk in her sleep: "I'll fight it for you..."

**Right, yes, I have not been good at updates. RL has been a bitch. So I will start a posting schedule for every Saturday or Sunday. The chapters are already longer, and we're getting close to the end. BUT before we're going down, it's high time for payback... don't you think? Rubs hands evilly* Mwahahahahahaha (Maniacal laugh). **

**See you next Saturday my sweeties!**


	56. Chapter 56: It's a long way

**Chapter 56: It's a long way**

**Hello my lovely readers! I love you all! I don't own Twilight. You know that! I welcome comments on mistakes I make. **

BPOV

My boyfriend of 210 years of age was sweating bullets. He was fidgety and antsy. The flight to London, short and sweet. The connecting flight to New York, he was all right. He even coped a feel when everyone fell asleep. Naughty boy.

Flight from New York to Seattle and his leg is going like a jack hammer. I swear to God, if he kept this up for one more minute...

I shot him and the offensive limb one of my best death glares. The leg froze on its way upwards. I snickered satisfied.

"You're bloody evil, you know that?" he whispered in my ear. He started muttering to himself indecipherable nonsense. I was getting pissed off. His uneasiness was rolling off in waves.

I know what was bothering him. Meeting my parents. Convincing my mother and father of his worth. Especially, my father. He was scared shitless.

~0~

~_Flashback~_

"_What do you mean, be myself? I can't be myself, the man's carrying a gun for crying outloud!" Edward could be such a drama queen. And then he'd man up. And then he'd go back to stressing out for no reason._

"_See, sweetheart, my father's an uncomplicated being. He likes sports, women and fishing. A bit of man bonding time, you should be fine," I said quite dismissively, as I was over with this conversation. _

"_Bella, I don't think you realise the importance of the situation." he shook his head, as if I didn't understand. _

_I rolled my eyes. Drama queen. Yup._

"_Edward, you need to understand, that I love you."I said cupping his cheek to make my point. He smiled every time. He longed for the words and the actions. My boy was just as greedy as I was. _

"_And because I love you, and you make me happy, it's none of my parents' business. If they like you, it's like an added bonus." I smiled trying to relay my meaning effectively._

_He frowned deep in concentration. _

"_You're just trying to ease my mind, aren't you? Well, let me just tell you, it's not working." He said. _

_I got up from my knees, because yes, as it turned out I _ was _ fucking wasting my breath._

"_Fine, Edward. Suit yourself." I said as I retreated to the bedroom._

_I picked up a book and started reading. I was quite annoyed. I mean, I know this is a big deal for Edward. He misses having a family and it's very important to him that we become one. _

_Edward needs to feel family atmosphere. He's been alone for so long. His life has been nothing but carefully planned calculations and loss. All of that to get to me. _

_I get it, I do. But from that, to the little drama queen he's become, yes, he is very annoying. He came in the bedroom. He sat on top of me. His entire weight placed on me. His full height covering my body. I loved when he encompassed me. I knew he was sorry for overreacting._

"_Bella." he whispered close to my ear. He knew his effect on me. I was a shivering mess. His voice was serious though. Which meant I had to pay attention._

"_I want us to get along. It's crucial that your mom and dad like me. It's also essential that they can trust me to love you and protect you. So, any hints and tips you've got for me love, would be much appreciated." He emphasised his last words by licking my ear. _

_My body responded to his. Like it always does. I shivered again and again unable to control my reactions. _

"_You want the tips or the lurvin' first babe?" I asked certain of his response. _

_He gripped my wrists and placed my hands over my head. He licked slowly the column of my neck. _

"_The lurvin', Bella. Always the lurvin'". He replied in a whisper. _

_I was turned on my back in a flash. My top was lifted and my shorts were removed in seconds. Naked underneath his heated gaze, I knew my boy had manned up. All of his manhood literally begged for attention as it grazed my thigh._

_I took him and placed him at my entrance. He slid inside with ease and we both let a content sigh escape our lips. It was in moments like these, in our quiet and familiar little bubble that I thought everything would be all right. Everything would fit in its place. _

_After about two hours, yeah, we had a serious conversation about my mom and dad and their likes and dislikes. But he was still inside me. _

~0~

Of course, Edward knew why I couldn't cope with his nervousness. I was dreading going back to Forks. Forks had been my place of breakdown. The place where the egotistical bastard, became so full of himself when he thought he had whatever power over me. I hated admitting defeat. In a way, I had not been defeated to Jacob.

Jacob doesn't know he was just a trigger. My predicament of being hospitalised and over my head in thoughts about death and sinking didn't really allow me to explain. Or swear and slap more like.

I came back to Forks and stayed with my parents and then I researched. Edinburgh, visas, work, sponsorship programme. I had seen them on the street. And even though Leah tried to be respectful as I was still struggling at the time, Jacob tried to ensure his loving relationship was appropriately rubbed in my fucking face. I stayed at home after that.

Fate had been kind _after_ I had been brought to my knees.

Everything happens for a reason. I tried to comfort myself in the thought, but my cynical ego considered this would be a good time to chip in. Everything happens for a reason; reason which you will discover in all likelihood on your deathbed. Oh, who am trying to fool? Optimism and I broke up long ago.

Edward's hand squeezed my own. His other hand surrounded my head and part of my torso pulling me closer to him.

"Bella, baby, you can do it. Don't be afraid. You are so much stronger than you think." His voice was low, comforting. His touches kept me tethered to him. Where I knew I belonged. Where I had been happier than ever. Where even optimism appeared in my line of thought every now and again attempting reconciliation.

I smiled surrounded by the loving warm, energy that is all Edward. My lovely man, with his scruffy face and warm arms. His eyes revealed always so much. A tear of honest gratitude escaped my treacherous eyes.

"Thank you." I whispered

He knew me so well. I hated it that I had scared him. I hated that I hadn't progressed as much. My therapist said though, that I looked better. She seemed quite surprised as I was with my outburst that evening.

~0~

_Flashback._

_A week after Bella & Edward moved in..._

"_So, Bella, how has your week been?" I bounced from the excitement. _

"_I met someone." I said thinking of ways to make the hour go faster. Back to Edward's cock. Mind off the gutter Swan. My internal monologue was determined to embarrass me in front of my therapist. _

"_Oh?" My therapist looked up and then really noticed the difference. Her eyes lingered on my face a second too long. I had rendered my therapist speechless as I was internally high-fiving the rest of the C- Team. Yes, C for Crazy. She regained her composure quite fast, to my disappointment. _

"_His name is Edward Cullen and he's a museum curator." I smiled at the thought of my boy. _

"_Yes, and how is it going so far?" she asked her eyes still cautious to my new happiness. _

"_It's going good. I'm really happy, and, uh, we moved in together. Last week." I said confident of my choice and perfectly content of our living situation. He'd taken up on his promise to wake me up every morning by kissing. Me. Down. There. _

_I was turned on and couldn't wait to go back to him. _

_My therapist didn't seem to share my enthusiasm. _

"_Isn't that a bit soon?" She asked reluctantly wanting to know why, I, the biggest recluse of the past 4 years moved in with a boyfriend of a week. _

"_I know, but it just feels right. I feel so complete when I am with him." _

"_Is that another co-dependent relationship I see shaping up?" She asked and at that moment I felt as if she was stirring bad memories and comparing effectively shit to gold. _

_I was thinking there was a bit of malice in her tone of voice, as though I wasn't worthy of a loving meaningful relationship, or feeling better altogether._

"_I want us to stop our sessions." I said bluntly. _

"_Might I ask why?" she said carefully. She was surprised to see me standing my ground._

"_Because for the past four years, we have talked about family issues, confidence issues, my problematic relationship with Jacob, you name it we've talked about it. Now, I have taken ownership and responsibility of the parts of my life that fall unto me, like my poor decisions, lack of judgement, not recognising my illness earlier on. I have. I have thought long and hard of all the things I was supposed to have done differently. All the reasons behind my actions._

_But, I deserve to be happy. Past all of my feelings of doom and despair, past my self destructing nature, lies a soul that longs to be loved. A soul that contradicts herself by feeling old and full of life simultaneously. I have found yet another such soul and you're trying to compartmentalise the hurricane of intense feelings that's taken over my existence. I want to live them. _

_Come what may, I have sheltered my life for far too long. And even in this situation I have managed to find my place in this world. A place where people love me selflessly and want to be my friend and lover. I will fucking take this one chance. _

_Do not try to belittle my feelings. This is not the scared and broken girl of four years ago. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. Even in this isolated life that I chose to lead, I am stronger, because I recognised my problems, and forced myself away from them, I built a new life from scratch and actually managed to make ties to people. So yes, I won't be needing the sessions any longer."_

"_Yes you won't." She said with a proud smile on her face. _

_With that I left her office, in Haymarket. When I walked on the street, I felt light as a feather but strong as steel. And this, the strong new me was in love. _

~0~

We arrived at Sea-Tac hand in hand. Luggage claim was boring, and then we were out. My mom and dad were there. Charlie and Renee. Tears were flowing from my eyes. I ran to them. I was engulfed by both of them. Their smell. I carry that smell of fresh butter on my skin.

Edward was soon to follow. My mom dried her tears and my dad cleared his throat.

"Mom, Dad this is Edward." I said simply. His smile was bright. I knew we were going to be all right.

"Edward this is Renee and Charlie." He left the luggage and hugged them both. My boy. A drama queen. A juicy man. And also the biggest hugger in the world. I snickered when I saw how uncomfotable my dad seemed as he tried to pass it off as a man hug with the tapping of the shoulder. But Edward was having none of that. He squeezed my mom and dad and he even let a tear fall from his eyes.

"I'm so happy to meet you both." he said sincerely. I was still laughing when he released them, my dad looking around to see if anybody was looking at us. My mom though, seemed reluctant to let go. Ah, a fellow hugger.

The drive to Forks was relatively quiet. My mom had taken the initiative to rent us a car. Good stuff, as I would have hated to be driven on the back of the cruiser.

We engaged in typical conversation, talking about work, or our recent weekend at Loch Ness. I showed them pictures of nights out.

"Your accent sounds more Scottish than American, Bella, it's so weird." my mom said enthusiastically.

"I know, right? Well you go to live with these crazy Scots, and next thing you know you start wi' the kens and cannaes and what have you!" I replied laughing.

"But you're enjoying Scotland," my father said half questioning, half stating.

"Scotland is beautiful, and the weather is just like rainy Forks. And as green."

"How about you Edward? Where are you from?" my mom asked.

"Well, interestingly enough, I was born in Edinburgh, but was adopted by an American family. My mother Esme and my father Carlisle, took me with them to New York. I got back several years later after my parents passed, to do my Masters in antiquity conservation in University of Edinburgh, and then got a job at the National Museum." he said easily. The only thing he forgot to mention was that his family raised him in the 19th century.

All of the sudden Forks appeared in the distance and I wasn't so sure anymore.

**Thanks for all of you who read and review this story! ****I managed to get another chapter out! Yay! **


	57. Chapter 57: Arrival & Confessions

**Chapter 57: Arrival and confessions. **

**Hello my sweeties! How the hell are you? Long week I've got to say... Le Sigh! **

**I know we're close to spring BUT we're spending Christmas at Forks!**

**Important A/N in the end!**

EPOV

I felt Bella tense as soon as we saw the Forks sign. Her body stiffened, and I could only detect how her breath quickened as she started getting more anxious.

I took her hand and squeezed lightly.

I got closer. My arm around her shoulders. Bella relaxed slightly and gave a smile of gratitude, even though, I could still feel her rigid body.

I leaned down to whisper in her ear: "Come back to me sweetheart. Please come back to me."

She gasped then sharply. She turned to look at me, as if she was catching her bearings. She was about to sink.

She tightened her hold on my hand and hid in the crook of my neck. I caught a glimpse of her mother looking at us through the mirror. She remained quiet.

She was biting her lower lip just like her daughter, when she gets nervous or she wants to act on something but feels she shouldn't.

Bella's mother has aged gracefully. I had tried to stay in the shadows back then, because I wanted us to be able to be around Bella's parents. Her hair was a lighter shade than Bella, but she got her nose and pouty lips. She had her dad's colours, and the eyes.

I felt Bella relax into my embrace. She would always get tired, trying to resurface took a lot out of her. She had fallen asleep. Her even breaths continued when we parked the car.

I asked for Bella's bedroom and her dad helped with our luggage.

I entered Bella's childhood bedroom. Her loving parents have kept it intact. Memorabilia from concerts. Tickets from movies with notes on the back of them.

A picture of her on of one her friends' shoulders at First beach. I laid her carefully on her back and covered her with her throw.

A lifetime of memories. On the opposite wall hand made shelves containing an impressive collection of vinyl records, and her vinyl player.

Pictures of her with Angela and Jessica. Halloween crazy outfits.

At that time Charlie knocked on the door and deposited the luggage.

He cleared his throat and averted his eyes from me.

" I.." he drifted off as if he was carefully selecting the words.

We stood there in awkward silence.

"I have missed my daughter." His voice was quiet but firm.

"It's ...hem... it's good to see that she's happy. When she... when she left, I felt like my whole life had not served a purpose. She was running away." His voice broke, filled with emotion.

"And I was thinking to myself all the things I could have done to shelter her, to protect her. All the advice I never gave. The affection. Above all my baby girl was leaving, broken, unsure, filled with fear. I was completely helpless and just let her."

I saw this hard man sobbing quietly. This man of few words needing desperately someone to listen.

"You couldn't be a better father if you wanted to Charlie." I looked over at Bella to see if she was still sleeping.

I went closer. An arm around his shoulders. A tap of reassurance.

"Bella adores you Charlie. You're not responsible for her depression. She's so much stronger now. Edinburgh has been good to her. She's made friends, she needed to turn over a new leaf. Put a bit of distance. Rationalise things."

"I still don't like it when I hear it." he openly admitted. "You should have seen them Edward. It was as if all of the sudden this perfectly healthy young girl was diagnosed with plague, or something. Friends abandoned her at her hardest moment. I hated them. But Bella was so wise, even back then. People fear what they don't know she had told me."

I smiled at my sweet loving girl. Trying always to find excuses, find the good in people. Give chances.

"It should be good for you catching up. She needed her distance to regroup." I said. I wanted to keep positive. For her. She had brought me so much happiness.

"Yes," Charlie acknowledged deep in thought.

"Charlie, quick logistics question," trying desperately to ask to sleep in the same room with Bella, without waking up with a gun against my temple.

"You can sleep here, son. There's only two bedrooms in the house, and Renee would have my head if I made up the sofa for you." He muttered something else under his breath, obviously not really content with our sleeping arrangements and the fact that his wee girl is now a woman with a man.

Och well, what can ye dae?

"Thanks, I'll let her sleep for a while." I looked at my sleeping beauty and smiled.

"You can come downstairs, I'm working later on in the evening, but you can keep Renee company. She also makes a mean cup of coffee." he smiled at that.

The atmosphere lightened, and I was relieved. But my heart soared from Charlie's words. Son. Well hopefully sooner rather than later... if all goes according to plan.

**A/N Have you seen the amazing banner by Betti? Link on my profile, and thanks again Betti, you're an absolute star!**

**I 'm also planning to start writing about the inspiration behind the story, please come see the blog, redesigned for _your _pleasure! Leave a comment if you feel like it!**

**I'll try and get another chapter out midweek. **

**Finally I would like to recommend a story by HPCullen called Amazing Grace, with amazing twists, awesome characters and very in depth research! Leave a review, let her know I sent you. **

**I love hearing from all of you!**


	58. Chapter 58: My Miracle

**Chapter 58**

**Hello my babies! How is everyone? You want to say hi at the end? Please do, I've missed you!**

**Soooorrrry about being so late. **

**Song for this one; Vincent (Starry night) Don Mclean! Thank you to one of my lovely readers for introducing me to this beautiful song. **

BPOV

I woke up. Keeping my eyes still closed, I stretched. I was feeling refreshed but still a bit drowsy. My door was open and light from the hallway and staircase was pouring in the dark of the room.

I never realised we had arrived, I had sunk again to this still gooey lagoon that suffocated me. Edward brought me back. His soothing touches, his velvety voice. I was so glad for my loving man.

I had been doing much better. I knew I had, Edward had always found a way to squeeze through the goo and grab me forcefully to the surface.

I didn't want to dwell in those thoughts. I felt a bit hungry, and a good splash of water in my face would definitely help.

I got up and switched on the light. My room had been kept intact by my sweet parents. Nothing had been touched.

Memories of my childhood with Jacob spent on First Beach crossed my mind. Sand castles and looking for crab in the tide pools. Catching worms on sticks. Playing sandwars. I smiled to these thoughts. These memories didn't hurt.

I had had a happy life.

And things could only get better. I went in the bathroom and washed; my face, then my hands. I searched blindly for the towel and dried myself. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Puffy eyes from sleep, my hair, the usual hopeless beehive. I smiled as I combed and cursed quietly.

I opened the door and I heard laughter coming from the kitchen. Edward and my mom. I could hear her carefree laughter. My heart warmed. A family. We are one.

I caught up with their conversation, as I was getting down the stairs.

"You should have seen Ethan's eyes bug out as if he hadn't heard a dirty joke in his life. Of course, coming from Bella, it was such a big deal, everybody was laughing mostly with Ethan's reactions. Who knew that my girl could be so crude?" he said amidst chuckles.

My mom's laughter echoed in our small kitchen.

"When Bella started talking, she caught up the word penis, from somewhere, God knows where and for at least a month that was the only thing she said. Now imagine, being in the super market, and I never got her the candy she wanted, and she threw a tantrum wailing penis the whole time. I was mortified."

Edward's laughter boomed, it was such an endearing scene. And in times like these when he's carefree he becomes Scottish. He hit his hand on the kitchen table.

"I cannae believe it! Oh my, that is hilarious."

As they quieted down, I was still hiding in the staircase. The conversation turned serious.

My mom started the conversation. "So how long have you two been going out?"

"Two months," Edward replied. "It feels longer though."

"And she's told you about..." she treaded carefully, but she didn't need to. Edward had seen me then and now.

"Her depression? Renee, we live together, it's not exactly like she can pretend, you know?"

"You live together?" She asked gobsmacked. Well yes, I had neglected to mention the cohabitation, I thought best not push poor Charlie over the edge and have him turn into cop mode, in my flat in Edinburgh.

"Yes, I mean we have strong feelings for each other, so I didn't see the point of beating around the bush. I suggested we move in together, quite soon."

Renee didn't talk for a while. And then, mother lioness decided to join the party.

"Yes, Edward, I don't disagree, but Bella needs stability, are you sure you're going to be able to offer that to her after the honeymoon phase wears off?"

"What Bella needs, Renee, is people who believe in her. And I do, and for the life of me, I'm never going to treat her like a disabled person, just because she feels too much. Fuck that." I could just see him covering his mouth for that last bit, but I was feeling so loved, like his words cupped my cheek and held me tight.

At that time I decided to start making noise and start coming downstairs. I wasn't able to convince any of them with my very theatrical and exaggerated yawn and eye rub.

They narrowed their eyes in an _I – know – you – were eavesdropping _ way but said nothing.

My mom got out of her chair and came to hold me. Her eyes had welled up. She squeezed me breathless. "Bella, sweetie, it's so good to see you." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

She pushed back, to have a look at me, touching my cheek, running her fingers through my hair in a gentle motherly caress. My eyes teared up. My mom, my hero, my best friend and loving being, was here. She looked a bit older. The wrinkles around her eyes were just a bit deeper.

"I missed you mom." I said quietly.

"I missed you too, baby." she said engulfing me in another bone crushing hug.

We sat and talked and ate and drank some wine. My dad came just before we went to bed and greeted me just as warmly as my mother.

It felt so good to be back. My sweet loving parents were looking at me comforting each other.

~0~

The next few days were spent in hiking trails, diner lunches and small trips to the reservation and Port Angeles. After a while we were trying to find time and space alone with each other.

We were always the touchy feely type but we were both beyond frustrated as both my mom and my dad had taken most of the time off, so we can spend time altogether.

On Wednesday, Edward said he had a surprise for me. I looked at him with raised eyebrows in question.

"What?" He asked defensively. " I only want to show you a special place to me."

Both mom and dad had gone to finish their Christmas shopping whereas my very anal man had everything sorted from the UK.

We got oin my truck. it roared into life as I turned the keys in the ignition. There was something oddly familiar about the noise.

We got on the 101 that lead towards the hiking trails. Nature was wild and amazing in these parts, with trees that had been growing for centuries and canopies that have heard cries of war and hunt, rituals and birthing screams.

I felt the forest was old, but it still was full of life just like my soul. I had drifted away with my thoughts when Edward's voice brought me back.

"I've been watching you my whole life, Bella. I saw you being born, turning into this cute toddler that screamed bloody murder if she didn't get her way, to a quiet teenager, to a beautiful woman. I wanted to show you the place I got struck by thunder, the night I got back my powers."

I was always surprised to hear Edward speak about powers, which was kind of silly, given that he was 210 years old and he remember his own birth. That is effing gross, I do say!

We got into the trail and followed it as far as the beaten path allowed.

We then got out of the car and the freezing winter air pierced through our bodies.

"Shall I try something?" he asked, and his eyes took that unnatural sparkling shade, when he was trying one of his tricks.

I knew by now to keep some distance, and it broke my heart a little when I remembered the last time he had to use one.

I never saw anything happen, but from a certain angle the image of Edward appeared distorted. He extended his hand and I took it. As soon as my hand was stretched, I felt the difference in the temperature. We were inside a hot bubble. Which was really fucking cool.

"This is is awesome," I said trying to find its shape. But it was like the temperature just changed and only the warmth let you know something had changed.

"Well, it's my projection so where I go, the bubble goes. I just thought it'd be good, what with the cold, and the place is a bit far." Edward said smiling, but I knew better.

"What are you not telling me, Cullen?" I asked with all the cheekiness I could muster.

He looked up and the mischief on his smile could not be hidden. I looked at our intertwined fingers and carelessly swung our hands back and forth.

"Well, …. today is a very special day for us..." he lifted our hands and kissed my knuckles and then continued, "today is our two month and a half month anniversary aaaaand the day I show you a bit more about me, concerning you."

We continued the hiking trail silently in our invisible warm bubble. And then we saw it. A perfectly round meadow, only inside it was spring.

Brilliant colours reflected the warmest light. There were lillies, roses and daisies, dafodills all in bloom. Before I realised tears were spilling uncontrollably from my eyes.

"You did this?" I whispered my voice chocking from the sob. A sob of happiness. How weird. This is the first time happiness is all I feel. Longing to express this is not dampened by any grey cloud.

"Yes I did, Bella. I did this to celebrate our anniversary and to get some time alone. Just the two of us." he said proudly and it was in moments like these I could the boy in him. His stretchy smile revealed a dimple I traced with my finger.

I crashed my lips to his before he dared to utter another word.

He smiled against my lips. He engulfed me in his presence. His arms stretched around me and captured in the kind of embrace that promises forever.

I opened my eyes and looked over his shoulder. In the middle of the meadow a picnic basket and a guitar were sitting.

"You make me so happy. So so happy." I whispered.

"Let's go, shall we?" He suggested and ushered me with his hand on my back. We sat down. I looked at the beauty and felt the warm rays of the sun on my skin. I closed my eyes, drinking the feelings of euphoria that were running through me.

He strummed the guitar and started talking: " This was the meadow I ran to, when I was losing all hope of ever meeting you. This place allowed me to hold glimpses of you in the eternity I spent alone. This magical place agrees with my energy, and the transformation you see before you isn't entirely my own."

He strummed another couple of chords, it sounded like a familiar tune but I couldn't place it.

When I reopened my eyes he was covered in light. Like this creature before me was blessed with all things good.

"You are my angel, my saviour and my lover." I admitted nothing but the truth.

"You are mine too. The night you were conceived I felt it. I felt you were coming into this world. I felt your soul returning to be greeted by mine. Oh I felt so exhilarated that night. I left my cabin and started running in these woods. It was dark and pouring down, but I felt invincible, you know?"

"I just have to say how freaking disgusting it is for you to know I got conceived. Ewwwww!"

He laughed that wind chimes laughter of his with that bit of a hoarse quality.

"Well, I was looking to look at the positive side, which was you. Anyway I found myself in this meadow. And there I got struck by the lightning."

"You got what?"

"Aye, darling, but when I got back to, all my powers had returned. And now for the entertainment portion of the programme."

Edward leaned his head to the sight. He got this look of concentration but looked absolutely serene. And then he started singing. His voice was raw. Even though the tune of starry night was quiet enough he made it sound like the notes were being bled instead of played.

I had so much emotion through me. And then he changed the lyrics to But I could've told you, Bella: This world was always meant for one as beautiful as you.

As the song drifted off I was crying happy tears.

"Thank you for filling my heart with so much happiness. Thank you." I just had no words to express how painfully my heart had expanded. How much feeling, how much love and adoration and happiness and longing and desire could fit in my body, my heart and soul.

Edward looked at me with a serious look. A look that conveyed love and a hunger I've seen before.

He put the guitar aside me and lifted me only to turn my back on his chest. I leaned back and smelled the amazing scent of Edward.

He held me against him. "I love you Bella, you were worth it. You were all worth it. " he whispered in my ear. His hot breath and the scenery before me were all concurring; this man is my miracle.

"Make love to me Edward." I pleaded and he didn't disappoint. His kisses burned my mouth and neck. His hands were worshipping my body. There was nothing rushed in our movements.

We held the other's gaze. Our fingers were twined on our left hand. We loved and loved. We were us. When we came I felt different. Something had changed between us. I could not pin point what it was it was a proverbial axis that was set finally as it should.

We walked back from our spring magic meadow into the freezing weather of Forks.

~0~

"Are you sure you don't want to have Christmas dinner at home, mom?" I might as well have tried to reason with a brick wall.

"Yes, Bella. I have booked us at the Seattle Needle Restaurant, your father and I haven't been away from home in ages. It's a good opportunity. And besides, I don't want to prepare another Christmas dinner. Last year, Billy, Sue and Harry came and they got wasted on eggnogg, by the time I was done, everybody was drunk and I was sober!"

"And, from what I remember you send them home with a dog bag full of fish fry!" I laughed hard, my mom's antiques were priceless.

Edward came back from talking to my dad, probably about me, but poor thing looked white as a sheet, followed by a very suspiciously jovial Charlie, still in his cop uniform and gun belt.

"Dad," I warned "if you scare him away I'm asking you for a refund."

He just mumbled "I don't know what you're talking about..." and the proceeded to kiss my mom.

"So are you game for the trip to Seattle for Christmas?"

"Game?" I asked lifting my inquisition eyebrow.

He did these silly rap gestures, and let me just tell you know my dad is incapable of rap. More like RIP of rap.

"I'm down with the kids," he said, thank goodness mockingly.

"Aye right. As I'm down with the Scots."

"So, do you want to go?"

Edward shot me an expectant glance and I could not tell my boy no to a trip.

"Ok doke, then, seeing as I am the minority." I shrugged.

"We're going to Seattle" Edward high fived my mom enthusiastically, and I knew these two have formed an alliance. I'm in big trouble.

**Next chapter is …. Mwahahahahaha is all I've got to say!**

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	59. Chapter 59:Here we are nowEntertain us!

**Chapter 59: Here we are now; Entertain us!**

**Hello my babies! It's been weeks I know. I have missed you but I have turned my chapters into ginormous monsters, so bear (Grrrrr! ) with me whilst I attempt this bad boy!**

**I have researched and researched, and then I researched some more. To those of you familiar with Seattle, forgive my cock ups! Last chapter, I called the Space Needle the Seattle Needle Restaurant which altogether sounds gory! Sincere apologies for that and not being able to come up with a schedule, or adhere to one. **

**Another 3 chapters and an epilogue, I think? But then again, I don't know. These guys seem to have to say loads. **

EPOV

To say that we were having an amazing time with the Swans ,was a major understatement. We had been all over. I made sure that all hotel expenses were paid from me and I even attempted to step my foot to the nut case that is Charlie!

Did well for a rookie, didn't I? I even got to point the finger to Charlie. His moustache twitched in sync with my finger waving, I swear to God!

And * clears throat** * **ahem my giggle is very manly. It was so funny.

I upgraded our rooms at the W hotel to the adjacent suites. Bella showed me her sincere appreciation for the suite. My girl was wild. I even took her on the balcony under the Seattle night lights. Her wanton whimpers and small cries of pleasure spurred me on. I admit it took a lot of focus not to come straight away. But we stayed on that balcony a good hour and a half. Covered in a blanket, me lazily sliding deep inside her from behind and holding her breast and the blanket in one hand and her clit on the other. Freezing cold didn't matter that night. We were generating heat for each other. In the jacuzzi, outside the jacuzzi, at the chaise long close to the window. We stayed happily naked throughout most of our time in the room.

Charlie and Renee shared a really unique relationship. She would get enthusiastic about something and then he would look at her mesmerized. Yet another man, who deems it important that their partner is kept happy. And just like Bella, Renee's smile was hypnotising. She would get animated and just her talking and her wide eyes would reveal the child within her soul. It was really captivating. Charlie was a grounded man. A peaceful force that grounded Renee. I haven't seen such a beautiful complimenting dynamic in a relationship. Except from mine, obviously.

We had been all over: Hendrix memorial,the experience music project, the underground tour, the Aquarium and the Zoo. At nights we had dinner at the most amazing restaurants like the Wild Ginger and the Purple. We went shopping, that Charlie and Bella almost died of boredom whereas Renee dragged me around to get more and more gifts for everyone. The open markets were our thing though. So when we got there, we spent ridiculous amounts of time in every stall. In the freezing cold, we bought the Doors limited edition, Jefferson Airplane, the Janis Joplin live in Woodstock. We were exchanging glances and showing each other records.

Charlie after five minutes grabbed Renee and showed us the café where they were going to be sitting. An hour later, when we walked in we caught them with foreheads touching, whispering something sacred between them and smiling lost in their own wee bubble. My heart caught at the sight of my new family. Bella's hand squeezed my own acknowledging that I'm a big softie, but I'm still very much a man. And that we both wanted this for ourselves.

I caught glimpses of Bella. The slight flush of her skin after walking in the cold. Her watery eyes when I took her to that Grunge club I had found. How her long hair made the perfect material for head banging. The head banging accompanied by proper screaming of the lyrics. How she shed a tear at Hendrix's memorial quietly reciting Hey Joe lyrics.

Her beauty was her love for life. Her determination to have one. A good one. She would have; the only important thing was to give me the right answer to a question I had to ask.

In our euphoric state, something had to happen to dampen the mood. And it did. But if I'm honest I was snickering secretly when I heard Charlie utter:

"Billy?"

"Charlie?"

Aye, people you ken each other, stop looking so flabbergasted. Get on with it, I thought.

"What are you doing here?" Charlie asked, still shocked. I was happy to see his moustache followed suit with the question mark forming in his mouth. I have to say I had been watching that moustache closely.

"I'm visiting the kids. They are just coming out of the coffee shop." he explained not looking comfortable with the situation. He then and turned to look at me. His gaze was exploring, as his Native American culture could see that something was off with me.

I invaded his own head, and I saw the legends of his tribe being passed on to him by his proud looking father and the wolves changing into man, changing back into animal when protection was needed for the tribe.

In perfect timing, Charlie was making the introductions and Bella's hand squeezed my own in desperate need for support.

"...and Bella's visiting from Edinb... Hey Edward, how did you pronounce again the place?"

"Edinbrah." I spat.

"Yes, Edinbrah, with her boyfriend Edward."

"It's nice to see you Bella. You look really good. " Billy said in appraisal. He would still side with his son, but I was thinking he never heard both sides to this story...

"Thanks Billy, Scotland has been good." I heard the determination in her voice. Whereas Washington, with your loser of a son wasnea, I added mentally. Yes I'm one of those little people that hold grudges. Sue me.

Her hold in my hand loosened, and I see the woman I love, in an amazing instant, bringing all her worst fears, her rejection, her betrayal, her breaking being brought into their realistic proportions. All of it lasted just a mere magical instant. I squeezed her hand as confirmation of my presence.

"And this is my boyfriend, Edward." she said with a slight push of her arm.

"Nice to meet you Billy." I brought myself to the level of his wheelchair to shake his hand. His grip tight, as if in warning. My grip was tight, because I was tired of this fucking charade.

Billy must have gotten to the bottom of my story, because he was looking at me slightly in awe. Screw that. Our holiday had just taken a turn for the worse and now his wanker of a son was coming out with that girl.

She was looking at him, animated as he was, probably reliving a story. She turned her head, scanning for Billy in all likelihood and then she stopped at her tracks. The look of guilt was there but who cares.

Jacob, aka the bad'un turned his head and then took in the sight. What was that? A smirk? A fucking smirk? Did he have the audacity to play macho – ex – I'm – going – to – rub – it – in ?

I got out of my head, Bella needed me. I saw her glaring at him. With one of her worst death glares. Oh, aye I had gotten that one, when she found her favourite white cashmere cardi had turned grey after having been washed with one my black socks.

Yes I bought her a new one! I would have materialised her one if I could, but I was too busy materialising shit doon my trousers, as her death glare gave me no other option but fear. But I digress.

They came closer. And then the glare contest commenced. Bella was looking at them. Billy was looking for answers in Charlie. Charlie was looking for anything that would remove us from this awkward situation from Renee. Renee was looking at her daughter. No answers were sought, thank goodness, but there was that distinct protective, maternal instinct kicking in. She then removed from her gaze from Bella, and turned to stare at Jacob, whose cocky fucking smirk was swiftly removed.

You go Renee! I fist pumped internally. And then I looked at her. Leah, was never the culprit. He was. She was sold love. She distanced her friend. And now she recently found out she was cheated on. But she stays put. She has invested time and effort. In LaPush, though, Sam Ulley was looking at her. She knows deep down. For now though, she remains unhappy.

I thought it was time for an intervention so I did what I do best : sarcasm.

"Look, aye, I know this is awkward, what with Bella, running into her ex that was cheating on her with the girl he's with now, yes, we can all move out of the cold, the noo, because noone's getting any warmer?" I half whined, half protested.

Bella rewarded me with her sweet windchimes of laughter, loud and flowing. But everyone else stopped staring at each other and only looked at me.

Especially Jacob. Oh Jacob, he was sizing me up. Deluded Jacob, was looking at me, trying to make a mental testosterone count. He was big and his shoulders probably were the size of school globes, you know the ones they decorate classes with.

He was buff, partly because of his heritage, but it's not about strength. Well it is, but not the muscle kind.

Everybody snapped out of their thoughts. And then the surreal portion of the programme commenced.

"So how are you Bella?" , yes, that was Jacob. He wouldn't know what hit... aaaaand here it comes.

"Huh, I would have thought that cheating creeps like yourself would save the world from their presence. How come you're not rotting under a stone in a sacred burial place somewhere? Ah, but that would mean you had a consciousness... And yes, to answer your question, I'm very well, thanks for asking."

He should have asked before messing with my Bella, enhanced version 2.0,we will fuck with you, if you fuck with us.

In the background, I caught a glimpse of Renee's snicker, Charlie's hard gulp, and Billy's shaking head with a wide open mouth.

The conversation, continued with the elders arranging to meet for Christmas dinner at the Space Needle.

Charlie ducked when Renee's hand was coming to meet the back of his head swiftly. I was getting fed up, and Bella was looking stunned. Obviously as Jacob had the cheek to be ironic with her.

Let them come. Let them.

"What the fuck were you thinking Charlie?" Renee asked. She didn't pause for a moment before she continued. "Do you remember Jacob, Charlie, that you had to invite to Christmas dinner? Did Seattle cause you memory loss, a lobotomy maybe?"

"I thought, it'd be ok." Charlied answered, and he was saying the truth. "I though, he was with Leah, our Bella is with Edward, forgive and forget you know?"

"It's all right Mom, dad. It's one dinner." Bella rushed to ease her father from the uncomfortable situation.

"Are you sure sweetie? It's perfectly ok not to want to see him or her for that matter."

"It's only dinner, and besides we've agreed to exchange gifts in the morning." Bella thought practically more than anything.

I held my baby's hand to offer whatever comfort I could. She leaned into me and whispered: "I loved your line, babe. Take me to the hotel, please?" she said with a smile and a bat of her eyelashes. I held her cheek, her rosy sweet cheek.

"Ok love." I answered simply and then returned to Renee and Charlie.

"Right, guys, me and Bella, are going at the hotel what time are we meeting to go the restaurant?"

"The reservations are for 7, Edward, meet us at the lobby for half past six?" Renee said simply.

"Ok, see you then."

~0~

As the hotel door closed behind us, bags and coats were dropped off our bodies and hands. We went for a hot shower, where Bella shed all her layers again as the steamy water cascaded down our bodies.

It always took a lot out of her. I washed her hair reverently. I filled the sponge with shower gel and started from her shoulders downwards my other hand mimicking the motions.

She turned around and hid in my chest. She inhaled deeply, seeking comfort and solace.

"Bella, sweetheart?" I whispered in her earlobe.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Are you all right?" my voice was low but not without trepidation.

"I am now." She released the reply with a deep breath. She wrapped her hands around my neck. She nestled against my body.

Quietly, we touched each other's bodies. Reassurance, love, affection. This was us. Tonight was the night. Did I have cold feet? No, not really. Not in a cocky smug way at least. Bella and I were never there by mere choice. No, we were necessity. We were need.

When we made it to the actual bed, she asked me, her voice husky and low with desire. "Edward?" And something else, which was the need to be with me and I with her. The need to bring our wee bubble to the forefront.

Where we are strong. United. Glowing.

"Yes baby? I whispered.

"Make me forget." She requested and I was happy to oblige. I touched her body reverently. Not a curve, plain, or swell left untouched. Her body, responsive as always, was breaking in gooseflesh, her quiet whimpers, my name leaving her soft lips was my reward.

I looked at her, and she opened her eyes to watch me watching her. My fingers were pumping slowly in and out of her and her whole body had synchronised to that rhythm.

My eager mouth kissed her sloppily and then moved to her breasts. I latched on to a nipple, which I sucked in my mouth whilst I kept licking her hardened tip.

"Please Edward, please love." she begged me. Her eyes hooded with pure lust, unafraid and glorious. She was losing control. It's those moment I cherished above all else.

"What do you need Bella? Tell me, I'll give you anything." I urged her because I needed her words. Like a parched man on a desert, she was my flask of cool water.

She grabbed my cock, tightened her hold.

"You like it when I beg for your cock deep inside my pussy don't you?" Her sly smile accompanied her dirty talk.

I lifted her hips and managed to lift her lower body. Her knees were secured on my shoulders and I plunged into her.

Her guttural scream was the affirmation I needed. I fucked her hard, my hands locked on her hip bones, keeping her still and elevated as I delivered strong, deep thrusts with precision inside her pussy.

Her head had fallen back, her cries were followed by mewls. A sheen of sweat appeared on her breasts. I wanted to last but that wasn't going to happen with the sight before my eyes of my wanton woman in the throes of passion.

I left her body and went south where our combined essence drove me insane. I had marked her. I licked and pumped, fingers and mouth and tongue working in unison.

"Edward, get back up and finish what you started." she threatened but her hand holding me in place told a whole different story. I licked and sucked and when I took her engorged clit in my mouth, her walls clamped around my three fingers and a gush of wetness left her while she was shaking violently from her orgasm.

I lapped up all of her, I had her squirt dripping down from my chin on the sheets. She was still trying to catch her breath and clenching when I entered her fully.

Another scream left her parted lips and I know it was the sensation overload; she was too sensitive, but way too responsive to my touch.

I plunged into her again and again with force. Her welcoming soft body slick with wetness and sweat. I wanted her to come again. I threw one leg over my shoulder and brought my fingers on her clit.

Her hips bucked involuntarily and I wanted to stay this way forever. I felt her erratic clenching of her walls.

She erupted yet again with a 'fuck' and my name rolling of her luscious lips. Shivers of pleasure rolled off of me and my balls tightened. I came in her in three long spurts. I saw white behind my closed eyelids.

We fell all tangled limbs and panting breaths on the bed. We slept relieved and sated.

~0~

BPOV

"Edward, I swear to God, if you say one more thing about tonight's dinner arrangements I'm getting my PJ's on and Christmas Eve is spent here with McDonald's." I was getting annoyed with his scowling about the dinner.

"I'll make sure not to be a considerate boyfriend, next time." he said with a pout. I felt like a complete and utter bitch.

"Babe?" I whispered capturing his face with my hands.

He looked at me with his face turned to the side. He couldn't stay mad at me.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I know you have my best interest at heart. I've learned though, in life, that you shouldn't fight things you cannot change." I said smiling.

This afternoon had been an eye opener. Jake had not been responsible for my depression. He was and is an asshole who broke my heart. But that's as far as it goes. If he was conceited enough to think that he was the cause of my meltdown and not merely a trigger, then he's deluded. Which he is. And not treating Leah good either. Leah was one of my closest friends. But she was always insecure. With herself, with other people's opinions about her, in school with popularity.

I stroked Edward's cheek and his gaze softened. He brought his hand around my waist and pulled me closer.

"I just want us to be happy. I want us to have a good night. It's bloody Christmas Eve after all." his pout obvious. I kissed it away. He smiled but tried to rein it in.

"Don't fight it. Now let's get ready because the Chief doesn't like being kept waiting." I said with an eye roll.

Once downstairs my hand firmly in his and a bit of trepidation for the night ahead of us. Looking at Edward in his shining stripy suit and his green shirt and black tie, he was, after all, my knight, this night and all the rest of our lives. _Huh. _ Where did that come from?

His smile was deafening. Yes, if it were a sound, it would be a blasting noise. That's how much it shook me. That's how much love was rolling off his beautiful eyes.

"Are you ready, love?" he asked.

"Yes, I am." I whispered. He brought my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles softly.

We met with my mom and dad and exchanged pleasantries. They had even arranged a limousine to take us to the restaurant.

"I have to say I'm impressed Dad," I said once inside.

"Life is too short not to spoil my wife and daughter." he said with a wide grin.

"Awww, Charlie." My mom swooned at his words. She looked at him with such a loving expression and he looked almost shy under her gaze.

He brought her hand in his lap and ran his thumb over the top of her palm.

Mom got serious then and explained a bit better. "Last year, Harry had a heart attack. He simply collapsed when we were having a barbecue over at our house. His wife lost it, Sue was devastated. That same evening, he undergone heart surgery. Harry, was always such a strong man, you know? You never expect it, but we're all fragile, is my point. We decided to spend more time with each other after that. It kind of sets your priorities straight." She chuckled darkly.

" I know what you mean, it's nice to see you two so... what's the right word? ...Um ...Refreshed?"

My mom did the crinkle of her nose, silently telling me well duh! Sweetie, don't be silly.

"Well yes, sweetie, we've had more time to ourselves, we've gone a bit overboard this time, what with you back and all, but yes, we're all right, Charlie, aren't we?

"Yes, sweetheart, that we are."

I lifted my hand before my eyes, pretending to be annoyed by their PDA but was secretly very proud and happy for them.

"OK, guys, enough of the love." I said smiling.

"Naw, Bella, your parents are so sweet," my innocent boy exclaimed.

I shook my head in resignation. Inside, a war was waging. I was anxious. Anxious for this night. Somehow I feared this night would be pivotal.

~0~

Leah POV

When I saw her, all the resentment I was harbouring all this time, evaporated. Bella, what could she have possibly done to hurt Jake? I felt regret for all the things I've done. And mostly the things I never did.

Looking at her, despite everything she's been through, being happy with a man that clearly worships her, I knew now, she deserved her happily ever after.

And, after all, so did I. You only live once. Looking at my shiny hair surround my face and placing my earrings in place, I lifted myself off the dresser and headed into the other room.

Tonight, I was determined. I wasn't sure for what, but one thing was for sure. My life would be my own. Finally.

~0~

Billy POV

I knew that Jacob wasn't the son I had raised. The son, that smiled at his mother's hugs and sloppy kisses. Something changed in him, when his mother left.

His sisters did their best to fill her void. But fear of letting a woman in, ruined Bella and now Leah.

And I saw how Bella found her missing piece. The luminous man next to her, was not human, but not harmful by all means. He saw through me as I felt his warm energy invading my soul. His energy was positive, healing, and I saw a glimpse of the past, his mother dying, a memory of his apparently from his own birth.

His eyes lit up as he gazed at Bella, I knew that the energy between them the one that has kept them going, has been love.

And now, I look at my son, typing like crazy on his mobile, probably to a new girl he's fooling, and I feel responsible; being withdrawn is as bad as being absent and both his parents let him down, even if only one of them physically left.

I fixed my bolo tie and took a last look at my hair. I then called Jake to get us going.

~0~

Jake POV

Stupid night. Fuck! If my dad hadn't made those plans with the Swans, I would have had Jessica on her knees before midnight sucking me off.

Leah looked even sorry when Depressella started on her little bitchy rant. What the fuck? She only got what she deserved, moving to Scotland and getting together with pale gingerboy.

I chuckled to myself. Maybe she'll appreciate the joke. Fact of the matter that Leah is onto me. I hate that, but Jessica's sweet mouth and pussy bring me to my knees. I met her on campus and she gets my drift. Come, fuck, have a laugh, fuck again, leave. No questions asked, no relationship mumbo jumbo, no emotions.

But Bella seemed well, and I guess, the part of me that remembers how good friends we were with her before I pursued her, was happy for her. Somewhat.

See if we can bring some action to the boring as fuck Christmas dinner. I sexted Jessica asking her a picture of her wet pussy. She replied almost instantly her lips spread and glistening for me.

The evening was looking up. Let's get this fucking dinner out of the way.

~0~

Charlie POV

Me and my family were having an awesome holiday. I knew what was planned for tonight, I had helped my son-in-law make all the arrangements for tonight. That's why I invited them over. They needed to see, _he _needed to see. I've been watching fucking brat, walking around Forks and LaPush as if he owns the place. His disrespectful attitude, his cockiness. Somebody ought to take that bastard's ego down a notch; or ten.

My son-in-law. Huh. That actually had a nice ring to it.

He was very moving when I approached him for the talk. You know the one; it's the hurt-my-little-girl-and-I'll-chop-your-balls-off-and-feed-them-to-the-dogs-talk.

~0~

_Flashback_

_I was at the lobby in the late afternoon to get some coffee for myself. Renee had taken up on having naps in the afternoon. _

_I ran into Edward,holding my cup of coffee and doughnut. Very cop of me, I know. _

"_Edward. Come sit with me son, if you've got a minute." I said and extended my hand showing him the chair across from where I scratched my chair on the marble floor. _

_I saw Edward flinch. Yes. My inner cop praised. _

"_Yes, Charlie, it's a good wee opportunity to catch up. Bella's loving her naps now she's on hols." Edward's accent got thicker every time he got nervous. And his jack hammer leg and hands tugging on his hair hard, yeah, pretty good indicators._

_I took a breath to start the talk, but Edward beat me to it._

"_Listen, Charlie, I ken you've not known me fae Adam, and it's reasonable to have doubts aboot any man dating your daughter really, but what I wanted to say has not just got to do wi' me and Bella. I want to be a part of your family, Charlie." He said with determination. I was surprised. That was _not _what I was expecting to hear. He took a look at the coffee in his hands and decided then to lift his eyes and stare intently at me. He continued._

"_I've spent a long time alone, what wi' losing my aen folks at a young age and aw'. I want to marry Bella, Charlie and I want yours and Renee's blessing. I plan on proposing on this trip. And if what I have to say finds you agreeable, I would love it if you could help me organise the surprise for Christmas Eve." He continued in a breath, his confidence growing as he talked. _

"_See, I think I'm quite a good judge in character, and I think you'll agree wi' me when I say you're a down to earth man. So I can promise you this: I know, I can guarantee that me and Bella are happy. Naebody in this world is having all good luck. So I know there'll be ups and downs. This has already happened. But to think my life without her, my breath gets caught in my throat,Charlie. In two short months, Bella has managed to become my world. With her wee habits, oor everyday routine. We are good for each other. We flow. And I love her. And now, that you and Renee, have so warmly embraced me, confided in me, the question is not just for the blessing in marrying your daughter, Charlie, it's a blessing for me to become part of this family, if you are so inclined to bestow this honour upon me." He finished his words, exhaling deeply. _

"_Yes, Edward, I see the difference you've made to my daughter's life. When she left, you could hear, she kept herself isolated. She was withdrawn, like talking about her life in this sterile style. I'm not blind. And the blessing runs both ways... son. You have blessed our family with your relationship with our daughter but made your own presence indispensable for both Renee and myself. So thank you, is what I wanted to say. Now, enough of this, let's talk planning..."_

_End of Flashback_

_~0~_

Was it bad that I was so happy for them? I know Bella is my baby girl, but having seen the magic transformation this man's instilled on her, I couldn't help but like the guy.

He forced feelings out of you. In a good way. Because I'm not big on expressing them. I should have done a bit better.

Because I love my daughter. And I think it was a trait she got from me, not expressing her feelings. Bottling it all up. I know it's a simplistic theory. I know. But still.

Watching her walk amongst us, in the house with that detached look was one of the scariest things of my life. I don't ever want to go back to that. And if welcoming Edward into our family, is what is takes, then so be it.

That's not even a compromise. Edward makes her happy. He talked to Renee, to me. Listening to what we had to say. I'm turning into a sappy old man, I swear.

In the limousine on the way to the Space Needle, Edward kept giving me glances.

I could tell he was nervous. He had no reason to be though. The adoring looking from Bella and the soothing circles she was tracing on the top of his palm was the proof that I needed. Bella looked beautiful with her intricate make up and her long black dress.

A beautiful woman. No longer daddy's little girl. My eyes watered. My family was getting bigger.

I caught sight of Renee's emotional look at me and our, yes our, children and was filled with gratitude.

~0~

Renee POV

"Why did you have to invite them over Charlie, I don't understand that." I said in exasperation.

"Renee, sweetie, why don't you trust me? I have a very good reason, to invite them over tonight, why can't you just accept it and maybe leave it at that?" He asked using his best puppy dog eyes and pleading smile.

"Don't think even for a moment you're out of trouble, but I'll be kind, and I'll play along with it."

He exhaled sharply before he mumbled a thank you and continued tying his tie.

Charlie maybe the chief of police, but I'm the cojones of the Swans Inc. I snickered with my internal monologue and continued putting on my eye shadow.

I was really happy to see my Bella look so good, well aside from colour, but we're coming from a place of constant rain, and Scotland is not much different.

Maybe we can organise a sunny holiday somewhere. That's a good idea.

She just looked so good and happy and, at the end of the day this is what every mother wants for her child. Me, a little more. Bella left, and I felt as if she was being chased away by demons.

I felt so helpless at the time. Nothing I could do, could help. It's devastating, as we're not talking about a cheering up or anything like that. You see your child, the child you were carrying patiently in your womb, the child you saw growing from a tiny little thing, into a child taking its first steps, into the laughs and screams era, and then the scraping your knees all the time era. My baby girl always had that. A dangerous, ominous side to her. A side that sometimes kept her eyebrows frowned. A side that looked far away and got lost from reality.

Edward has changed her in ways I never thought imaginable. She glows, her whole being is illuminated, starting with her eyes and her body leans closer to him like second nature. I don't even think these two are like me and Charlie, in love yes but solely by choice. I don't think they ever had a choice. It's hard to find these days, couple so in orbit with each other.

I finally finished with my lipstick and with my hopes renewed I left the bedroom to meet Charlie in the living room of our suite. Tonight was going to be good; I hoped.

**Right, guys, these people, they talk and talk but I want to update finally. So next chapter, yes the Christmas Eve dinner. I missed you all and this is by far the longest chapter I've ever written. Phewwww!**


	60. Chapter 60: Shining Bright

**Chapter 60: Shining Brightly**

**Is there anybody out there? For those of you joining me, thank you. For those of you that are still around, thank you more! I really need to finish my star-crossed lovers story. **

**I've checked pictures of the Space Needle BUT for the purposes of this chapter we're going to change things a bit! Yes? **

**I want to let you know that I had drafted a different chapter to begin with, which had me stuck for all this time. I'll try to get back into the groove of things.**

**I'm going to submit a piece for Fandom for Leukemia. Please go to their site and donate for this fantastic compilation. **

**The song is It Can't Rain All The Time by Jane Siberry from the Crow Soundtrack. **

_We walked the narrow path,  
>beneath the smoking skies.<br>Sometimes you can barely tell the difference  
>between darkness and light. <em>

EPOV

We arrived at the Space Needle after 15 minutes. On our way up the elevator, Charlie kept giving me the "Relax, dude" glances.

Bella stood there in her black, silk dress that made her look like an absolute goddess and I was worrying about tonight. Well, not anymore.

I squeezed her hand and bent to touch her earlobe with my lips.

"You look stunning, love." I whispered.

She leaned closer to my body, and exhaled deeply, visibly relaxing. Her blush crept in making her look a vision. Her cheeks flushed and her blush moved to her chest.

I wanted her. I wanted to take her in this dress. If common decency allowed, I would have spread her on our dinner table and made sure I came inside her and have her squirt on my face just to set the records straight of who belongs to whom.

But then again, I should probably not think that way about Charlie's only bairn. At least not when he's around.

She turned around and softly grazed my hard on with her pinky.

"I'd love to know what you're thinking right now, babe." She licked her scarlet lips for emphasis, and gave a look down where my aching cock twitched.

"I cannae tell you, now, love. Your dad's watching us." And true to form, Charlie, moustache twitched to demonstrate its obvious disapproval for our PDA.

"Party pooper." she whispered pouting that cute mouth, and turned around. Her hand never left mine. As the elevator ride continued, my hand kept tickling with the energy that was flowing between us. She took that moment to plant that vision in my brain.

And, oh my what a vision that was...

In my eyes, Bella was surrounded by the starlight. That same starlight we emitted all those millennia ago, so close yet, so far, so long ago and yet just a fraction of a second back in time. She was levitating, and the light was coming from her heart. Her heart, a brilliant shine of love, brilliant light and warmth. She enveloped my being with this fantastic healing power. Her hands were spread wide, as the diamond of light surrounded her. And then she lowered her head, and opened slowly her brown eyes. The spirals of warm brown tones stared into my being and bared my soul to her. That same soul that had longed and yearned for the time we would reunite. And she took all my fatigue and disappointment, the loss and turned them into memories. Memories that could not haunt me anymore. Memories that did not hurt.

Her healing hand touched my cheek and her soft smile of adoration as if to say: 'Let me heal you, like you healed me. Let me be our strength, life is us. The only kind of life I would ever want.'

Strangely enough, I felt her voice echo in my head. And just like that, the vision ended. A breathless Bella, looked at me smugly. She knows now, of the power she possesses.

**~0~**

**Please, leave me a review. Missed you all. **


	61. Chapter 61: Before the show begins

**Chapter 61: Before the show begins**

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews. Missed you all. **

The elevator dinged our arrival to the restaurant and we were ushered to out table by the hostess. Bella gripped my ass for her to see and steer clear, and it felt kind of nice to be on the same page in terms of our possessiveness of each other. Partners in crime. And ass grabbing, apparently.

Blacks and Co had not arrived yet, not that I cared, and Bella seemed more relaxed than before.

"It's really beautiful here." I said in awe taking in our surroundings. The lights of night Seattle glowed and twinkled. The wind and rain mixed the night vision and made the skyline literally melting in front of us.

The Christmas decorations were also lovely. Soft background music created a cheery Christmas atmosphere and strategically placed fresheners made the whole place smell like spices.

"I'm really glad you like it." Renee beamed. "We really did put a lot of effort in organising this trip, especially since we were told you were coming. Especially with only two week's notice." She raised her eyebrows at Bella.

I tried to see where tonight's performance would be held. And then I saw it and smiled. It was a silk black curtain closing off an area close to the make shift dance floor.

My sweetheart got my attention at that moment as she lightly touched and caressed my arm.

"It's when I see the child in you, all excited about the sparkly lights, that's when you fill my heart with so much love." Her eyes were so warm and revealing so much emotion, my breath caught and I swallowed hard to will the lump in my throat away.

Then, obviously, the party of wankers had to arrive. Well, that's just Jacob, and the rest are wankers by association. Or, I'm just annoyed we got interrupted.

"Hello Charlie," Billy waved as the hostess started ushering them to the table.

Jacob, that well mannered laddie, kept texting furiously on his phone, oblivious of the glare his girlfriend was throwing him. Something had switched with Leah, though. I could feel the change in her. The determination in her eyes.

Charlie sat at the head of the table with Renee next to him, Bella next to her. I was sat next to Bella and Billy at the other head of the table with Jacob and Leah next to each other.

Drinks were ordered, more texts were exchanged and the menus served as buffers to the proverbial Berlin Wall that had been erected at the middle of the table. Billy was silently pleading Charlie to instigate a convo, then Charlie looked at Renee who quickly looked back at the menu. All the while Leah was looking at Jacob who was looking at his phone. Stealth, was not one of his virtues as the laddie was clearly sexting another unsuspecting lassie.

Bella was running smooth circles on the top of my palm and slowly humming to this tune we both liked.

A round of cocktails for the ladies and neat scotch for me and Charlie later and a food order placed, it was time. I had the liquid courage I needed. The butterflies in my stomach and Charlie's not so discreet wink and I was ready. She is mine and I'm hers and she knows and I know.

And all I want now, is the human assurance we are one. Let the show begin...

**A/N. I know it's a filler but I'd rather post now rather than later. **


	62. Chapter 62: Forever

**Chapter 62: Forever**

**I know it's been a while. I'm sorry. I aim to finish this story because these characters just flooded me at first and then they stopped. **

**EPOV**

I found the maitr'd and asked him when I could start. He was really enthusiastic especially when I had given him the play list. Three songs. Three songs talking about my empty life before her and how she has filled that void, with magic, love and so much happiness, sometimes it's hard to breathe.

"Please follow me Mr Cullen, let me announce you, oh, this will set such an amazing tone, especially tonight." He clapped his hands and did a bit of jazz hands afterwards. Broadway was missing one hell of a number, obviously.

I swallowed again and tried to calm myself. Not an easy feat. My hands were sweaty and the butterflies in my stomach just wouldn't let up. I focussed on Bella then. Her smile, her creamy shoulders, the black satin dress, her scarlet lips. Her eyes filled with happiness and mischief, that promising look of many naughty things to follow.

I had to tell her. The scenery was ideal. It's time.

**BPOV**

Edward had gone for a while, and I was starting to get worried. At the table, you could cut the tension with a knife. For a minute there, I saw Leah through my old insecure eyes. Jacob wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings, lest he left his phone alone for even a second. I kept sipping at my strawberry daiquiri, waiting for the appetizers to come.

From our table and past the dance floor there was a thick black velvet curtain that hid something. The music faded away, and the maitr'd appeared and took the microphone.

"Hello everyone and welcome to the Space Needle Christmas Eve Extravaganzza! Tonight, we are very happy to host a lovely pianist. A guy that needs to send a very special message, to a very special someone. It is with great pride that I present to you an impromptu session by Mr Edward Cullen."

At the sound of his name, my shoulders stiffened. Maybe it was all these experiences of ridicule, all the embarrassment and bullying I've gone through, being institutionalised in the small community we lived in. This was Edward, however. He loved me and I loved him with an intensity that was hard to even quantify. I relaxed, then and turned my eyes forward.

The spotlight focussed on the curtain, and my stomach got tied in knots. Even Jacob lifted his head, and made the face "oh fuck, here we go". But then Charlie, looked smug and his mischievous 'tache was twitching with excitement. Renee was looking at the stage and her husband gobsmacked. She wasn't in on this. My eyes turned around to the stage. The curtain pulled, and there he was in all his glory.

The floodlight was blinding him but he was looking in my general direction. His smile was a bit nervous, and part of me wished I were on that stage trying to calm him down.

He talked then, with a deep voice filled with emotion; his Scottish accent getting thicker as it did whenever he was nervous: " This wee show has been staged for my darling Bella. I've been trying to find ways to convey the grandeur of the emotions you have evoked in me. But I'm not very good with words, love. So I've let the best of the best of matters of the heart do the talking. Or rather the singing. These are all for you."

And then he sang. With that hoarse, raw voice of his that filled my heart and thoughts. I put my hand to try and calm my racing heart.

The lyrics of Otis Redding filled the room and I saw the closed eyes of the miracle of a man I called my own. For your precious love he sang, and his voice filled my heart. That man had repeatedly healed me. My heart was pounding in my chest. And now, in one of the most romantic sceneries, one of the most heart warming performances, his voice echoed, in the presence of my family, talking of love and loneliness. I was filled with happy tears, and, at that moment not my family, not Jacob, not Leah or Billy could stop me from being with my man.

If one life was all we deserved, I would do the same things again and again, through time, through space just to be with him. But one life was going to be full of this uninhibited feeling that could not cease.

I ran to the stage just as the applause from this first song, started fading. He turned to look at me, a bead of sweat was gathered at his hairline, and I kissed him with all I have. He kissed me back and the room faded for a split second. The room then erupted in applause holler and whistling. I was feeling a bit conscious but then he looked at me with the blinding smile that makes him look like an angel. His happy eyes could not be concealed. His arm was around my back to my waist. He turned to face the audience and respond to the catcalls that could still be heard.

"Thank you all, thank you. This is my Bella. The bravest, strongest, most beautiful and indeed smartest woman I've even met. A woman, that with her heart, her gentle heart has made me the man I am." He started on the piano, singing Stevie Wonder's I believe when I fall in love with you it will be forever. His voice echoed in the restaurant, and I looked mesmerised as his eyes closed while he sang.

The audience looked like in some sort of trance. My man was glowing under the floodlight but I knew better, as his energy was emanating through him to capture the entire room. My shivers would not let up. One look into my family and my father and mother were holding each other and looking proudly at us.

This was a moment I could savour. It had an impact on my five senses as if some wire was providing stimuli to my entire body. Memories, like elusive clouds of our lives together seemed to stream like colourful ribbons above our heads. The star, the explosion, our second appearance, Edward's birth, his travels. And somehow I felt the necessity of this. The closure of the Fates' weaving. Something, a breeze seemed to pick up around us, sealing the untold agreement. We were never two.

"Come on let's fall in love, you're the woman I've been dreaming of," got the crowd really going and that broke my reverie.

"Thank you," show business Edward smugly thanked the audience. Silly boy, turned to look at me with the puppy eyes he usually reserves for when he's messed up big time. But in his knowing wink he acknowledged what I'd seen.

"Now this last song, talks about the inevitability of love. When that right person comes into your love, you need to hold on to them through thick and thin. Because, at the end of the day, love is a loving hand in your own. Love is in the small stuff of every day life. It's what will keep you going when you feel like giving up hope. Ma Bella, ma beautiful amazing woman, I cannae help but falling in love wi' ye. Every day a wee bit more."

The tears kept falling, and I was so moved. This love display, so profound, so unexpected had me holding on to Edward's waist to keep myself steady.

His song started, Elvis of course. His voice was deep and velvety. The crowds got quiet again. The music went to my heart. And in that moment, I realised, the perfection that was us. I was not Bella, the depressed. Not Bella, the professional. We were one. A shining star in a dark sky. A beacon. And we would always be.

Edward's song faded into the closing notes. His eyes bore into mine, as he got off the stool. He bowed to the audience for the show of it and the crowd cheered. The next thing I know he was on one knee.

He took out the red velvet case from his breast pocket. He opened it as my hands flew to my mouth.

"Love, this is just another promise. I love you. It seems I have waited for an eternity for you. I don't want to wait any longer. I want to bind my promise to be with you for all time, with this ring. Will you marry me?"

It didn't take a second, before the resounding 'Yes', came as a whisper from my mouth. Edward, took my hand and placed the princess cut yellow diamond ring in my left hand. Somehow, in it, I thought I caught a glimpse of the supernova we once were.

"She said YES!" he said to the entire restaurant and more applause followed.

Just as our lips entwined, in this delirious happy moment, I heard the distinct annoying voice of Jake exclaiming: "Oh, for fuck's sake!" followed by a plate crash.

Now what?


End file.
